A gigantic ball pit

If you’ve ever seen xkcd.com, you know that we need no justification for this. Plus, all college students need to channel their inner 8-year olds somehow. Stress relief, anyone?

Cigar lounge

So apparently there’s a smoking ban on campus, but who really cares? (Note: we’re joking.) A cigar lounge strikes us as a classy means of encouraging more professor/student mingling, an area in which we genuinely feel our campus is lacking.

An aquarium

An aquarium would offer us the opportunity to see amazing live fish…and sharks…and octopi. It would also open up jobs for budding student marine biologists. Win-win situation? We think so.

Strip club

With both male and female performers, of course. A strip club might be controversial, but it would certainly be used.Plus, a proposal to bring it to campus would give Student Union Senate something besides Bristol and room reservations to talk about.

A lounge

For students who want to gag every time they walk into the pit of orange that is the Fun Room and are sick of sitting in Whispers amid conversation about how stressed out everyone is, the Umrath basement could offer an actual hangout space on campus. A few couches and a stage for live music or poetry could go a long way.

Grad student offices

A basement with windows is better than a basement without them, so why not move some graduate student offices into Umrath?

Dorms

Umrath Hall was the original dormitory on campus. Adding rooms to the basement would offer a much cheaper option than building another new residence hall. With a three-minute walk to class and a one-minute walk to the DUC, it’s prime real estate.

A multi-purpose room

ResLife doesn’t own the space, so student groups could meet there free of charge. (What?)

Arcade

Wash. U. is filled to the brim with video game addicts in search of a place to play. An arcade filled with the classics, from Atari’s “Pong” to “Call of Duty: Black Ops” is just what Wash. U. needs to make sure that students procrastinate even more.

Kelsey Eng | Student Life

First and most importantly, there’s a giant hole where Subway used to be. Without question, we should seize this opportunity to bring back The Rat. An on-campus gastro-pub would provide an invaluable service to the student body. It would serve as an on-campus location for students to gather, eat, drink and be merry. Given that there appears to be a gunpoint robbery roughly every day, a safe alternative to anywhere off campus is a good idea. Good food and good beer mean good times, and if The Rat were to be open late (which it absolutely should be), it would give students a late-night gathering location at the center of campus. Upperclassmen are rarely on the 40 and thus don’t want to walk all the way to Bear’s Den. The Rat would be an ideal meeting place for students coming from different ends of campus, and it would provide Wash. U. students with a unique and exciting aspect of campus life. There are negative reasons why the Rat shouldn’t exist. Back when it was here, I believe that The Rat was the third largest distributor of Anheuser-Busch products, behind Busch Stadium and the Edward Jones Dome. Economic sustainability would not be an issue.

Secondly, with Hilltop Bakery gone, students are left with Holmes Lounge as the only carver/deli option. Holmes serves its purpose perfectly, but with lines that often snake out into the hallway of Ridgley Hall, it can take an extraordinary amount of time to get a sandwich or wrap. To establish another similar eatery, perhaps on the other side of campus, would expand the lunch options of our students exponentially. The Danforth University Center has a lot to offer, but sometimes we just want a sandwich (that’s not pre-packaged).

Lastly, Trattoria Verde needs to expand. Since when did an “Italian” station only offer pizza and salad? Please, please, please put in a pasta bar, and in case you were wondering, the occasional manicotti offering doesn’t count. I love pasta. Pretty much everyone in the whole world loves pasta. It’s easy, it’s quick, it’s healthy, and it’s delicious. Furthermore, it’s a wheat product, so it could be local and sustainable. Here’s a potential business plan: Have a tub of plain pasta, next to that have some standard sauces, and next to that have a daily pasta special. It could not be easier; just keep some water boiling. I’m willing to put a lot of my credibility (next to none) on the line in saying that a pasta station would be the new most-popular section of the DUC food court. Bear’s Den shouldn’t be the only place where you can regularly get pasta on campus. The zero percent Italian blood in me is screaming, “Mamma Mia!”

With the exception of re-establishing The Rathskeller, these changes and additions are fairly small and, I would think, very easy to accomplish. I don’t think our community would object to any of these suggestions, and they would certainly improve on an already excellent dining services program. The Rat would be monumental…and really, really, awesome. I’m just saying, you know, in case the administration is listening.

If Hilltop Bakery (right) closes in the fall, Subway (left) may move to the space in Mallinckrodt Center currently occupied by the eatery. (Matt Mitgang | Student Life)

If all goes as planned, $5 footlongs are set to hit Mallinckrodt Center next fall. Loren Grossman, owner of the Subway restaurant on campus, is currently in discussions with Washington University to take over the space that would be vacated by Hilltop Bakery.

“We haven’t decided [the move of Subway to Hilltop] yet,” Associate Vice Chancellor for Operations Steve Hoffner said. “We are in discussions with Subway to see about them possibly moving upstairs.”

Subway has occupied its current space in the Rathskellar (the Rat), in the basement of Umrath Hall, since 2003. Subway first opened in Mallinckrodt Center’s food court in 1995.

Grossman said the current space has proven to be too small for the volume of customers that Subway gets, leading him to desire a new location.

“We’ve outgrown this space, and the space is kind of inadequate to what we need and that space has become available,” Grossman said.

Hoffner echoed Grossman’s sentiments. Mallinckrodt Center would “[give] them more space and better space and a more prominent location,” he said.

Grossman highlighted long lines as an issue, for they turn prospective customers away.

“When the University made the possibility of that space [in Mallinckrodt] available to me, I was very happy because I never like to see a line…sometimes I’ll come here and I’ll see people looking down the stairway and walking away because they don’t want to stand in line,” Grossman said.

The new space would allow Subway to serve its customers with increased speed and efficiency. In addition, the quantity of seating would not decrease.

“I think it [the new location] would allow us to better serve our customers,” Grossman said. “We’re going to be able to put a double serving line in the new space. The seating probably will remain about the same. Of course, there’s a large terrace, which means that will be much additional seating outside.”

Hilltop Bakery, an eatery that is popular among the student body, offers custom-made wraps and salads. Grossman hopes to meet the needs of former Hilltop customers by promoting Subway’s salads and its wide variety of menu items.

According to Hoffner, Hilltop continues to be profitable and Dining Services will move as many Hilltop options as possible to the Danforth University Center (DUC). Additionally, student input will be sought out to determine what options to keep.

Even with the high cost of moving and expanding, Grossman expects prices to remain stable.

“We don’t expect prices to increase,” Grossman said. “We have always, [but] we’re not required to…follow the prices that Subway recommends for the region. It is my intention to keep it that way.”

As for the Rat, there are no plans for that space right now. But Hoffner said that it would not house an additional dining facility.

Grossman hopes that the contract will be finalized within the next month. The new space vacated by Hilltop Bakery would become available to Grossman after Commencement in May.

“I don’t know where the rumors quite came from, but we do have another year on our lease, so I know that we’ll be here one more year,” Grossman said. “I certainly want to stay here longer than that.”

Many customers have questioned Subway employees about the franchise’s future on campus.

“They keep asking. Everybody asks. They’ve been asking since last year when the rumor first got started,” General Manager Sharon Smith said. “We wouldn’t enjoy it [if Subway left campus,] and I’m quite sure the students wouldn’t enjoy it either.”

Subway was located in the Mallinckrodt Food Court from 1995 until 2003, when it moved to its current location in the lower level of Umrath Hall.

“They thought we should have our own space, so that it would be more convenient and we could move a little faster,” Smith said. “This actually worked out best because over there we couldn’t sell chips or any of that. Since we came over here, we’ve been able to sell all different kinds of things.”

Since the move, Subway has been operating under a five-year lease with optional extensions. Grossman cites the apparent uncertainty over the extensions as one possible source of the rumors. The option to enact these extensions is in the hands of the University administration.

As the lease currently stands, Subway will be on campus through June 2010 and possibly longer if more extensions are added to the lease.

“It certainly is my intention to try to extend [the lease],” Grossman said. “It would certainly be my desire to stay here, and I think we must be satisfying a need.”

Subway currently serves approximately 1,000 people every weekday and nearly 700 on weekends, according to Grossman.

“I would be pretty upset if it closed,” junior Michael Shannon said. “I probably come once every three days.”

Although Grossman respects Bon Appétit’s efforts to provide students with multiple dining options, she believes that Subway gives students additional dining options.

“I think the [Bon Appétit] food service does an excellent job with many things,” she said.

Most students say they appreciate the diversity Subway brings to their campus dining options.

“Subway is a nice change of pace from everything else because Bon Appétit pretty much runs everything,” sophomore Jake Lewis said. “That’s why I come here—for the change of pace.”

Many also argue that Subway fills a void in the dining services provided by Bon Appétit.

“I definitely like Subway,” junior Greg Osborn said. “It’s nice to be able to get a sandwich somewhere because they don’t have that in the DUC. It’s pretty quick, and it’s pretty-good-quality fast food.”

Others enjoy Subway because they see it as a healthy alternative.

“Faced with the literal assault of fried and fatty foods that permeate Bear’s Den, depriving health-conscious students of a healthy alternative is nothing short of torture and deprivation,” freshman Meg Conley said.