Women are a beautiful creation. Woman have that great smell, those amazing physical features and of course, the ability to become great moms. Admit it, guys, we’d be nothing without our wonderful moms.

The problem lies not in the great attributes of a woman, but the difficult challenge of finding, catching and keeping one. We can’t club them over the heads and drag them back to the cave anymore. The good old days.

The difficult part of any relationship seems to be in the introduction. Guys, think about all the times you wished you asked the girl at the grocery store out but didn’t. You were afraid of rejection. It happens. The worst news, however, is when you find out that one of your bucket-head friends finally did. He’ll remind you of how great she is for the rest of your life. And ladies, think about all the times you complain to your girlfriends about being home alone on a Friday night, wondering if Mr. Right will ever ask you out.

So if it’s so hard to ask a girl out, why don’t women make it easier for us? I understand that girls hate cheesy lines, but maybe they should rethink our advances not as a sleazy attempt to get in their pants, but more as a way of showing just how funny we can be. Playboy said thatwomen love a sense humor. See, ladies? We do read it for the articles!

Let’s imagine for a moment that women liked outlandish pick-up lines. Just think, we as men could finally walk right up to that cute girl outside the bookstore and say, “Excuse me, but do you believe in love at first sight? (No.) Well then, maybe I should walk by again.” Come on ladies, you know that’s a good one. Even the thinking rabbit would like that line…shoot, he might try it on his lady rabbit friends himself.

There are all kinds of come-on lines guys could use to break the perennial ice. A few slick ones are: “Wanna have sex and pizza? (No.) What’s wrong? You don’t like pizza?”; “Hey, baby, you look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”; “Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!”; “I was wondering if you had an extra heart. Mine seems to have been stolen”; “There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.” And then, there’s the worst one I actually overheard in a bar: “Hey, beautiful, are those pants made out of Windex? Because I can see me in them.”

Guys, lets be polite about this. If women really do decide to make it easier for us to get their attention, let’s not screw it up. For some reason, we’re notorious for that. And ladies, be patient with us; it’s not easy to figure out ways to ask you out. We mean well, kind of. But seriously, who doesn’t like pizza?

I’ve been watching you. And I know what’s on all your minds: spring. And along with spring comes the decision…to fling or not to fling?

It’s inevitable that this question comes up at this time of year—undoubtedly, spring is here. The temperature is up and the sun is out, bringing everyone out of hibernation. Suddenly, girls are studying their bio notes while in bikinis, and shirtless guys are playing Frisbee on just about every green space on campus. Between massive amounts of skin exposure, the carefree music blasting from every dorm window and that certain indescribable essence that comes with spring, everyone is feeling that little bit of additional pressure to make like the birds and bees.

It’s not just the environment that gives us this feeling, though. The end of the school year comes with a sense of liberation and urgency. Let’s face the facts: In about six weeks, most of us will be going home, and all you seniors will soon be out of here for good. This time crunch helps us realize that this is our last chance to talk to that hottie in psych class or finally ask out that freshman floor crush. And since you’re getting off this campus so soon, what do you really stand to lose?

Opportunities are everywhere, and they’re being talked about by everyone: I’ve heard terms like “senior scramble” (apparently all the seniors want someone to introduce to their families at graduation), and “DTFA” (Down to…um…“Fiesta” April)* used in regular conversation. And the discussions about fraternity and sorority formals are in every corner of Whispers—whether certain expectations need to be filled, and if it would really be so bad to hook up with that “just friend” you’re bringing as a date.

While I often tend to encourage serious relationships, I have to deviate from my normal advice here. In my opinion, there are honestly very few things healthier than having a spring fling. We’ve spent all year cramming and holed up in our rooms; what better way is there to end the year than by finding someone you really enjoy hanging out with and having a little carefree tryst for a few weeks? After our months of hibernation, having someone to walk with through Forest Park and make out with in the grass outside Olin sounds like a well-deserved reward to me. You’ve got a bit over a month left here, guys. Make the most of it!

Just remember that when you take the plunge and ask that babe out for ice cream followed by a snuggle and maybe a little something else, you can sometimes get more than you bargained for. Sometimes you end up falling for your fling—and that can turn into something more serious, or it can leave you with a bit of a broken heart. So have that fling, but keep it light and keep it fun. And remember, birds and bees have a short lifespan, but you’ll still have to see this person next fall.

*Fiesta is a very polite term for the actual acronym.

Regardless, one issue presented in the film deals with Lohan’s character pretending to not understand a class she is in so she can be tutored outside of class by the guy of her dreams. While this led to further consequences, I couldn’t help but sympathize with Lohan’s character. Keyword: character; not actually sympathizing with Lindsay Lohan, since that’s pretty hard to do. After all, what are we supposed to do when we want to spend time with that attractive individual in our class outside of class? How do we win that special someone over and find out what he or she is really like outside of an academic setting?

Let’s say you are in a small class, and in this class there’s that good-looking guy or girl you want to talk to, get to know better and, if there’s chemistry, spend time with outside of the classroom. Hopefully, your professor will encourage class discussion and maybe even small group work. If so, do everything in your power to try to work with that person.

You can even just walk up to them one day and say, “I really liked what you said about…” or “What you said about this or that text was so interesting.” It’s as simple as that.

A compliment always proves helpful in the game of love, and this can easily lead to a bond and an excuse to work together. If you don’t actually think what that person says is interesting, either move on or, if you are just that attracted to that person physically, find some other compliment. Just don’t be overly maniacally friendly, and never refer to anything you see on that person’s Facebook, even if you do stalk him or her daily.

If you find yourself in a large lecture environment and notice that cute guy who comes to class every day, you’ll know that he probably cares about schoolwork, which is always good. Though it may be hard at first, sit next to him one day. Flash a charming smile, and you can even ask to borrow a pencil/pen/piece of paper. Just don’t let him look in your backpack to see that you actually have one and are just asking to initiate conversation, because then he may think you’re crazy.

Another tip is to try to talk with that person after class. That is, if you and a friend grab lunch and happen to see that cute girl sitting with her friend, it is more than all right to walk up to her, say hello and make a comment about that day’s class, like how boring it was, or laugh over an absurd comment some other student made in class. Eventually, if love is in the cards, you guys can start eating lunch together. Given time, this can lead to hangouts off campus.

If you want to take eating lunch together to the next step, tell that person that you guys should make a time to hang out that weekend or go out one night. It can be said causally, while simultaneously allowing you to get the message across that you’re into him or her. You can also ask that person to study with you, since group studying is both fun and productive—well, sometimes. More importantly, this is a nonchalant question, and a study date could with time progress to romance. All you have to do is communicate.

So the next time you want to pull a Lindsay Lohan and are tempted to pretend to be stupid just to have that special someone tutor you, don’t. After all, playing dumb probably won’t work—we are pretty bright kids. Just remember to be yourself, talk to the person you’re interested in and if it’s meant to be, it will be.