The best kind of political activist isn’t a politician at all. For anyone looking to make a difference or to sway the country with your ideals, take this advice: stay out of politics. We constantly see examples in the media of politicians engaged in never-ending battles to assert their party’s inherent superiority over the ideals of the opposition.

Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage starting in November 2003. Connecticut came next in October 2008. Iowa and Vermont quickly followed this past month. The new ruling for Iowa and Vermont will become effective starting April 27 and September 1, respectively.

For many gay people in America who fell asleep on November 4 thinking that their nation had finally taken a great leap forward, it must have seemed that their country had simultaneously taken several steps backward when they awoke to news of Proposition 8. Other provisions passed around the country, such as those in Florida and Arizona, were proactive—that is, they anticipated and moved to eliminate a theoretical future right of homosexual marriage.