Yes, for the stalker in all of us, it is very appealing to think that we might know if the recipient of our text has read the message. But what about the flip side? Many of my BlackBerry-addicted friends are caught in a battle between opening the text they so desperately want to read, and knowing that upon reading it they will be forced to respond. Is it not enough to intuitively know that everyone reads some texts and waits hours to respond? BlackBerry users have gone a step further to confirm their greatest suspicions about the boys who don’t reciprocate their love or the girls who don’t want to hang out.

BBM creators have found a way to even further intertwine users’ lives with technology. That we are already a phone-obsessed generation doesn’t give BlackBerry owners any reason to doubt their BBM lifeline, but the nearly unbreakable attachment between the phones and their doting users goes further than the typical criticism of technology-dependent college students.

Like with any other trend, many buy the BlackBerry because it seems that everyone else owns one. Specifically at Wash. U., the network of BlackBerries is growing, and while only a few years ago many might have been confused when confronted with “send me your pin,” today this request wouldn’t faze even those who haven’t converted to the BlackBerry world. The BlackBerry is infectious, and, most notably on a college campus, texting is no longer enough.

“I think sometimes it’s a social status-type thing,” said sophomore and BBM user Helen Bogen. “At lunch one day, we were comparing how many BBM friends we had. I felt like a loser because I only had 50.”

At this rate, the day when BBM is the only socially acceptable mode of communication may not be far off. “It’s easier!” BBMers tell me. “And you can see the entire conversation!” But I’m not convinced the convenience is worth the added complication. So to all of you who are tempted and sense yourselves slipping toward the BlackBerry for your next phone purchase, remember this: Maybe you’re feeling out of the BBM loop, but unless you want your private communication tracked by your overzealous friends, it may not be a loop you want any part of.

Alissa is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at arrotbla@wustl.edu.

Girls, come on! Shouldn’t we be past the point of driving ourselves crazy over last night’s forgettable hookup? He loves me, he loves me not: Common sense tells us it must be one or the other, but when faced with the question after a steamy night (or meaningless walk home and short-lived kiss), excuses for his inaction are rampant. And then come the excuses for our excuses. If you’ve spent the last hour complaining that he hasn’t responded, then I must say, you’re probably not over him. And I’ll believe you actually think he’s a terrible guy when his profile page is no longer bookmarked on your laptop.

What happened to wearing the pants in our post-feminist-era relationships? For too long we’ve been called hysterical and possessive. Instead of moving on, the threat of rejection only makes some hold on tighter, clinging to both the uninterested guys and any last thread of hope. To all the singles, flirts and relationship junkies out there: the strong girls we admire—the ones with boys wrapped around their fingers—don’t have a secret. They just know when to say when.

So how do you take back control in a world where traditional “dating” is practically obsolete? My friends and I have made our fair share of mistakes, leaving me with a long list to choose from.

The top 10 (this list is by no means complete and is open to suggestions):

1. Take a hint. If he ignores you, flirts with another girl in front of you or has a busy week five weeks in a row…it’s over.

2. The more isn’t always the merrier. Hooking up with more than one guy does not make you a slut, but it doesn’t make you infallible either. There is no such thing as a sure thing, even when you have a backup plan.

3. If your friends don’t like him (for those of you who trust your friends), it’s time to get out.

4. If his friends don’t like you…this will only turn out badly.

5. It’s not a coincidence if he only texts you after midnight. Ever heard of a booty call?

6. If a guy likes a girl he doesn’t leave her on the dance floor to…
a. Stretch his legs.
b. Check on his friend.
c. Get a drink of water.

7. Your desperation does not count when considering his positive attributes (even if the only thing you can think of is that he’s nice).

8. If you ever think your expectations are too high, remind yourself that when a guy imagines his ideal girl he Googles a picture of Megan Fox.

9. If a guy tells you how much he loves your roommate, he’s not complimenting your excellent choice in friends.

10. His phone is never broken. Enough said.

Alissa is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at arrotbla@artsci.wustl.edu.