In response to your March 9 editorial (“Expand the use of WUSTLAlerts”), I would like to share with Student Life a number of programs that are already provided to our WUSTL Community. Our “Where to Go” program is shared with our faculty, staff and students soon after they arrive at Washington University. This program provides each member with a brochure, wallet card and magnet that disseminates what to do here at WUSTL when emergencies occur such as fire, medical emergency, earthquake or severe weather. We also post this information on our website http://emergency.wustl.edu and include an informative video that further discusses and demonstrates what to do for many emergencies. In addition to that, we also post this information in our buildings near major entrances and stairwells and include how to evacuate a building, where to find fire extinguishers, and where the fire alarm pull stations are to activate the fire alarm system for a building.

Throughout the year, the University staff conduct seminars and trainings, and provide supplemental information to various groups of students, faculty and staff such as: Emergency preparedness training at new student orientation; emergency preparedness training at new employee orientation; emergency preparedness overview at the law school new student orientation; emergency preparedness and fire extinguisher training for Residential Life RA/RCDs, DUC student workers and greek life house managers; articles and press releases about WUSTLAlert tests and emergency information provided to the Record, Student Life, KWUR and WUTV; and at least twice a year Residential Life provides additional information to the WUSTL Community that resides in Residential Life buildings.

WUSTL did indeed purchase 3 outdoor warning sirens that are placed on Brookings Hall, Seigle Hall and Nemerov residential house that are tied into St. Louis County’s outdoor warning siren network. That means that whenever St. Louis County activates their sirens, then ours are automatically sounded as well. We rely on these sirens as well as local news media and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to alert our campus population to severe weather that may impact us. The St. Louis County siren network covers over 507 square miles and over 900,000 residents.

One thing that our campus community needs to realize is that just because an outdoor siren is going off, it does not mean that they are necessarily in immediate danger. It is meant as a warning that severe weather is likely or has been detected in and around St. Louis County. It means go inside and seek additional information via local news sources or the NOAA to see if our immediate area will be impacted or if it is to the north or south of us. If the area that you are in is expected to be impacted, then you need to head to the lowest level possible and interior space to seek refuge until the severe weather passes. You should take a cell phone, flashlight and battery-powered radio to receive updated information or determine if the danger has passed.

As the Chancellor and other campus officials have said in the past, “An emergency can occur at any time and all of us in the WUSTL Community have a responsibility to know what to do, what the resources are, and how to access them in an emergency.”

Mark P. Bagby, M.S.
Emergency Management Coordinator

I know you better than you might think. I see you walk past me on the way to the library, wearing your Wash. U. sweatpants. I’ve stared at you lounging on the green grass. And I sat helplessly on my haunches last Friday night as you desecrated and defiled me.

I’ve never done anything bad to you, mostly because I don’t do anything, period. I pretend to be thinking, which is pretty difficult when one has no brain. My throne is a rock, knobbly and hard. My purpose in life seems to be giving those pesky tour guides something to point out between Olin Library and Graham Chapel.

Yet I have enough self-respect to think I am an integral part of this campus. I am a beacon for the lost. I am a touch of flavor this campus needs. I am The Bunny, dammit, the symbol of introspection and intellectual wisdom at this university. I’ve had my picture taken with more people than George Clooney. I deserve respect, honor and perhaps the occasional pat on the back. I am postmodern, whatever that means, and maybe you could try to interrogate me as art instead of mocking me.

But instead, what did you offer me? A paint job only an art conservator could fix. Now I sit alone and emaciated in my blue tarpaulin kilt. I am no longer a landmark, but a laughingstock. I’ve seen you walk past me as if nothing happened, and boy, do I wish I could spit at you. I am hurt, I am spiteful, and I can’t wait for you to get caught.

If you were going to alter my appearance, you could have at least had the courtesy to be more creative. I would have appreciated a few carrots (or, hell, a Bear Necessities cake) to feed my malnourished frame. I would have chuckled (silently­—for I am, after all, a statue) if you had chosen to dress me up in a rare burst of school spirit or in honor of an upcoming event. Those res-college scarves I’ve seen look pretty snazzy.

But alas, it was not so. Rather than enhance my important symbolic role on this campus, you resorted to cheap vandalism. Instead of amusement, you chose cruelty.

But no worries, I’ll be better soon. Paint can be erased; my memory cannot. And rest assured, I’ll be watching for you.

Sincerely,

The Bunny

I don’t know why the letter from Chancellor Mark S. Wrighton about the impact of the economic crisis on Washington University makes me so angry, but it does.

For starters, this line stands out: “But this Thanksgiving season will be difficult for many, and I am concerned about the hardships members of our community are facing, including our students and their families.”

Right. The “hardships” of a bunch of slick piggy-bank backed lawyers, doctors whose risky investments in the stock market—guided by the ringed hands of their brother-in-laws or best friends who ALSO graduated from Wash. U. with a Master in Finance—have led to double-digit drops in their portfolios. Chancellor Wrighton should really be discussing the hardships of the valets at Frontenac luxury shopping mall and the tie and perfume sellers at the Nieman Marcus who are heartbroken because they haven’t recently seen the astringent-wiped, plastic fixed faces of Wash. U. parents.

What about the thousands of impoverished people—blacks in the urban cities and whites in the rural areas around St. Louis—who have been facing “hardships” for the last five decades? The people who don’t understand the terms “bailout” or “inflation” or “recession” but are just as, or even more-so, drastically affected by them none the less?

I’m truly sorry that the turkey this year will still be hot, that the stuffing will still be moist, the cranberries cold, the pumpkin pie sweet and that someone might have to spend half a day in the kitchen cooking it instead of catering it from an egregiously expensive restaurant somewhere. I’m really, truly, sorry about that. But in the cases of non-Wash. U. families, this “financial crisis” has not changed anything at all.

The almost entirely black staff at the Subway on campus will continue to get paid the same minimum wage salary and will be unable to take tips from the students under the direction of the very white manager; the children in the Clinton-Peabody projects—10 minutes away from Wash. U.—will still have Dorritos and orange soda to celebrate; but those aren’t the workers or families who contribute millions to an endowment of billions—so unfortunately, they won’t make the letter today.

In case you’re terrified at the 25 percent drop, you can look to last year’s story on the endowment from our own wonderfully-mediocre Student Life, which reported, “Washington University’s endowment topped the $5 billion mark for the first time in its history, marking a significant increase over the 2006 fiscal year…The increase represents a 20.1 percent return, the largest return on the University’s endowment since the endowment increased 23.1 percent, from $2.8 billion to $3.45 billion, in the 1998 fiscal year.”

If Wash. U. gained 23 percent of its endowment in the last year and it has lost a tragic 25 percent because of the financial crisis, doesn’t that only total a net loss of 2 percent in the last year? Isn’t that quite standard for taking “bets” on anything, from Las Vegas to the stock market? Actually, I think it’s quite a bit better. So, maybe we shouldn’t be stepping onto ledges quite yet…

But here’s my favorite part, and, I suspect, one of the chief purposes of making sure this letter reached EVERY Wash. U. student, alumni, and parent all the way to me, making less than American minimum wage, here in Changchun, China.

Wrighton writes, “I have discussed these matters with the Chair of the Board of Trustees, and I proposed and will implement a reduction of my own salary by 5% effective January 1, 2009 and another 5% reduction effective July 1, 2009.”

This is the part where students and parents all over melt like gummy bears in oatmeal. The Chancellor is CUTTING his salary! Can you believe it? No, I can’t. I can believe that the total of his salary was not mentioned in the letter. But I am still incredulous despite my best intentions. Why 10 percent interspersed between six months? I guess you need time to adjust to your brand new lifestyle—elegant speaking engagements and meetings with heads of state turned to buying razors at Wal-Mart. You need to soften the blows from paying someone to pick up your groceries at Whole Foods and adjust walking over to Schnucks to pick up cans of beans and pork.

I think I’m going to write an e-mail to Chancellor Wrighton and explain to him my current situation. Not only will I not be able to contribute any of my yuan to Wash. U. in its desperate crisis, but I actually need a little money myself. I feel that I am entitled to more after-graduation assistance—the ten thousand cups of frozen custard served outside of Brookings right after the ceremony doesn’t cut it in this day and age—especially with this sharply down-turning economy. So, I will humbly request that Chancellor Wrighton only reduce his salary by 4 percent in the coming months, and grant me the amount of that insignificant 1 percent.