Ten minutes after date time, I got a phone call (from Andy!) saying that he’d been waiting for me to come pick him up (what?!). I hopped into my child (a 1995 Ford Explorer with about one jillion miles), rolled up to his crib and honked twice because thrice would’ve been trying too hard. Obvi, I wanted to look hot so I wore a pair of flare jeans with my favorite Birkenstock sandals. Obvi, Andy said I looked nice. He told me that he was taking me (slash I was taking him) to a dining establishment now shut down due to various health code violations, Cereality. When we got to this gourmet cereal bar, he paid like a gentleman and then he/we talked about his body building aspirations.

After eating our cereal, we got back in the car, and headed to a mutual friend’s house. The drive was spent discussing his homemade skateboarding videos. Then, suddenly, he let out the loudest burp I still have ever heard in my life. The burp smelled like cereal with a soft trace of enchilada. Lucky for him, I like enchiladas…PSYCH!! I was disgusted and disobeyed my base instincts to a crack a sarcastic burp joke. Instead, I rolled down my window with a dramatic button-pushing motion only to freeze my buttocks off in 20-degree Chicago wind.

Finally, we rolled up to my friend’s pad and started playing Wii tennis. He got frustrated because he couldn’t return my power serve and my backhand was, as usual, insanely fierce. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and brought, wait for it…a yoga ball…into the loo. He managed to skillfully bounce this yoga ball and urinate at the same time. Contrary to popular belief, this is nauseating and not cool. The date ended 10 minutes later when I drove him home and blurted out, “I’m so glad we’re friends!”

I never spoke to Andy again. Oh wait, I did last summer when I ran into him at TBK (Taco Burrito King) and he had actually just started a career in amateur bodybuilding. When he told me this, my first instinct was to laugh, which of course was only one-sixteenth as rude as his cereal-enchilada burp that I so kindly ignored. The real reason I giggled was because I took one look at his body and could immediately tell that he was maybe half as built as I was. Since then, every time a guy takes me out, I come off a bit too thankful because anything is better than that date from Acheron.

Many people have experienced the elements associated with fraternity formals that I described in my article. Those elements, of course, are not always present, and some of the comments, e-mails and direct responses that have been stimulated as a result of the article emphasized this point. Reactions from both ends of the spectrum, including everything from outright anger to long-awaited excitement, further illustrate that this is a topic begging for discussion. Yes, some dates go as friends with no expectations of hooking up, others are in relationships and that changes everything, and many attend formals unsure of their intentions. These examples were obvious to me, and therefore, since my goal in writing this opinion piece was not to describe every element of formal but rather to bring attention to a very real issue, I didn’t feel they were necessary to include.

I was in no way trying to insinuate that all guys take girls to formal for the sole purpose of having sex with them. In fact, I explicitly stated in my article that I was glad to be going with someone I knew, because this was not my experience. To all the men whose egos were bruised by my article: There are many courteous gentlemen in fraternities. My date for the last formal I attended is a perfect example. Many of my friends are in fraternities, and these are friends whom I love and respect.

I never intended the article to be a commentary on Greek life. Since it was printed, however, I’ve been surprised to find that a mentality exists among some (not all) members of the Greek community here at Wash. U.: In more or fewer words, “You’re either with us or against us.” This logic is bizarre given the number of people in Greek life with differing outlooks and perspectives. Wash. U. Greek life, in particular, prides itself on involving many kinds of students, and therefore, the community shouldn’t be surprised that its members will have opposing opinions on the system and the traditions that make up sororities and fraternities.

I am not asserting that the expectations I spoke of in my article are more prevalent in Greek life, but rather that they exist and manifest themselves in different ways from the world outside of college. An individual can still be in support of Greek life even if he or she sees certain aspects of it as cause for concern. If criticism only came from outside the Greek community, it would be clear that Greek organizations weren’t examining themselves closely enough. I am a proud member of Greek life here at Wash. U., but like any organization at any university, it isn’t perfect. The discourse that has resulted can only strengthen Wash. U.’s Greek organizations.

Such public conversation about this topic has hit a nerve; I think that much is clear. The article I wrote is in no way broad or narrow enough to cover all the elements of this issue. The underlying mentality I described as being behind fraternity formals does not only apply to fraternity formals and does not always apply to fraternity formals. It does, however, apply. The article was just a starting point for greater discussion and examination. Anyone who says simply, “This wasn’t my experience and therefore it isn’t true and doesn’t exist,” is far too self-involved and concerned with image to give this topic the consideration it deserves. The pressure to hook up at formal poses a serious issue. The fact that such a debate has been stimulated only further emphasizes this point.

Alissa is a sophomore in Arts and Sciences. She can be reached via e-mail at arrotbla@artsci.wustl.edu.

Ibby’s Bistro, the newest addition to the Bon Appétit family here at Wash. U., features a full-service dining option conveniently located in the Danforth University Center (DUC).

Perfect for a night out with friends looking to spice up their meals and escape the crowded, long lines of the main food center of the DUC, the bistro is especially perfect for a couple seeking a romantic date. We set out to truly get the “dibs” on “Ibbs.”

Upon walking into Ibby’s, the Asian Feng Shui feel of the restaurant both surprised and delighted us. Classy and elegant, yet simultaneously modern, Ibby’s décor provided overall sensual, inviting tones. Red, modern lighting helped create the sensual yet cozy intimate sentiments and elegance of the bistro; exactly what you would expect form a date restaurant. The extremely friendly and courteous host of Ibby’s greeted Meredith and me, as he led us to a booth nestled between two other booths filled with people. While the booths are indeed closely spaced, this allowed for mingling with other diners at the booths next to us. However, if you are looking for a more secluded dining experience, the tables will provide just this.

Upon sitting down, even before we were greeted by our server, a lovely couple next to us spoke their praise for the restaurant to us. Also first timers to the restaurant, they were very impressed with their dining experience and agreed that it is a perfect place for romantic dates, but that it also welcomes groups of friends.

Essentially the only drawback to eating at Ibby’s is the actual food price, as the food is definitely on the pricier side. While an entrée and dessert usually go for 18 dollars, a meal complete with a glass of wine, an entrée, dessert and a starter can run up to 35 dollars. The nice part about this is the ability to pay with one’s own meal points, and yes, checks can be split. Be careful with this option while on a date, though. Going “dutch” is an issue unto itself. But what the card option means, in other words, is that you can now get your parents to—unknowingly—pay for your date. This is perfect if you are a little short on cash, but just scored the date with that hot girl—or guy—from chemistry class.

The standard eating time at Ibby’s is an hour, so if you are in a small group or on a date, give yourself about an hour minimum to enjoy your dining experience. You may want to plan out even more time than that, considering an on-campus date removes any chance of talking before or after your meal.

Ultimately, Ibby’s will definitely satisfy any student looking for a quiet, intimate dining option or a friendly, entertaining night out with friends. To say the least, it is a huge step up from Bear’s Den. While it was really never okay back in my days as a freshman to go on dates at Bear’s Den, with the addition of Ibby’s there is definitely now no excuse to continue going on dates to Bear’s Den. In fact, one of the great things about Ibby’s is that students now have easy access to a nice restaurant without a car. This means that you now have no excuse for not going to a nice dinner on a date.

So grab your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend and head to Ibby’s soon to discover for yourself the dibs on Ibby’s; you will be glad you did!