I’m not a stickler for tradition. When it comes to Halloween, I’m a live-in-the-moment kind of guy. Who cares that the holiday is rooted in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhein? Halloween should be appreciated in regard to the current zeitgeist. It has evolved into a much higher form, that is, until you get tired of partying. But by then you’ll probably have kids, so you’ll be right back where you started. To those who would argue that Halloween should stay grounded in its roots, and that its current incarnation is offensive, I would simply respond, “Sorry for partying.”

There is a stretch of a few years in our lives when we are not under the oppression of “the Man.” If lucky, we have a few years of high school (unless your parents were “the Man”), and then our years in college. After that, lame stuff like jobs starts to rub away at all the cool stuff, like fun and free time. When you start drinking your beer out of glass instead of a Solo cup, you’ll know that time has come. It is our collegial responsibility to take full advantage of these fruitful years. “Ridiculous” should be a word you commonly use to describe your life, let alone your activities. “Fear” is a word that should never be uttered, unless, of course, you fear that your level of awesomeness is falling below acceptable levels. When one of those adult figures asks you what you study in college, ignore her and say, “I go hard.” We throw responsibility to the wind, until, of course, we need to get something done. And then we do that to the best of our abilities. That is going hard.

Holidays like Halloween provide us the opportunity to maximize the potential of such a vivacious outlook on life. Ignore the naysayers who criticize Halloween for being too risqué. Halloween is a time to go nuts, to let go of inhibitions. There is something to be said for the benefits of having a weekend of hilarity, raw carnality and suggestive adventure. To those who think that Halloween is too centered on alcohol or too risqué: You are in a costume, it’s not like people can tell who you are. Duh.

With that being said, I urge you to wear your slutty police officer costumes proudly, embrace the pain of freezing pectoral muscles while you strut around in your fireman costume with suspenders as a shirt. Halloween is an inspiring spectacle. Make those Samhein-celebrating Celts wish they could party with us. They’d be honored to see how far their holiday has come.

Lane Christiansen | Chicago Tribune | MCT

3) The Rent is Too Damn High Guy
You’ll need gloves, a mustache and the ability to perform karate.

4) Double Rainbow
Fashion two rainbows out of construction paper and start crying.

Alex Ibanez | ABACA PRESS | MCT

6) Mel Gibson
Get so drunk and racist that the cast of “The Hangover 2” bans you from the set. These are the same guys who cast Mike Tyson in a movie.

7) Lady Gaga
Beg the butcher department at Schnucks for last week’s steaks and somehow fashion them into some sort of clothing substitute. We’d give you more concrete advice, but Cadenza is still not sure how that all stuck on her. If you’re of the vegetarian persuasion, buy a giant block of tofu.

Gary Emeigh | MCT

9) Tea Party Member
Wear revolutionary clothes and hold a sign that says, “Obama is a Komunest.” Also, try to find a sun hat. Hang tea bags from it. Refuse to use your inside voice.

Courtesy of 20th Century Fox

“Rocky Horror” is a sci-fi parody rock opera about newlyweds Janet (Susan Sarandon) and Brad (Barry Botswick) who find themselves stranded at the castle of the “sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania,” Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry). While castle-bound, Janet and Brad encounter a troupe of dancing Transylvanians, Rocky Horror—the Dr. Frankenstein-esque creation of Dr. Frank-N-Furter—and Meatloaf on a motorcycle. The plot, which includes sex, aliens and rock ‘n’ roll, may require Wikipedia’s assistance to fully understand.

Although the movie itself is entertaining, you haven’t really received the full “Rocky Horror” experience unless you’ve seen it in theaters.

“The costumes, throwing things around the theater, Meatloaf’s music videos and obviously Tim Curry. I love that every time I go, I figure out a new joke —either in the movie or what the audience screams back at the screen,” said senior Hattie Hiler, a six-time “Rocky Horror” veteran.

And don’t worry about being a Rocky Horror virgin. Senior Sam Bova, who won second place in her seventh grade lip sync show with a rendition of the “Time Warp,” attended a screening for the first time last year.

“At many other shows when you are a virgin, you have to do something super embarrassing on stage,” said Bova. “All that happened at the Tivoli was that the audience made a popping sound with their mouths to symbolize your cherry popping.”

“Rocky Horror” is the longest running movie of all time; it has consistently been shown in theaters since its release in 1975. And its fans are dedicated: Actors at The Tivoli perform the movie verbatim during its screenings, and male attendees brave the late-fall weather wearing nothing but gold spandex.

So, whether you want to understand next week’s episode of “Glee,” be in a setting where donning just underwear and a bra is socially acceptable or just spend a hilariously ridiculous (and not necessarily sober) night at the Tivoli, you should head on over to the Loop during one of the next three weekends. Plus, “There is always the chance that you will get to watch your friend receive an unwanted lap dance from a man in a gold speedo,” noted Bova.

What to bring:

Rice, newspapers, water guns, toilet paper, toast, a party hat and a deck of cards. The screen will prompt you when to use them. The Tivoli also sells bags filled with these props for $2.

What to wear:

The bare minimum. Lingerie, fishnet tights and cross dressing are encouraged. And don’t worry, there is no way you will be underdressed for the occasion.

What to shout:

Anything and everything, whenever you want. The two things to remember are that Janet is always a slut, and Brad is always an asshole.

The Tivoli is showing “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” at midnight on Oct. 22 and 23, Oct. 29 and 30, and Nov. 5 and 6. Filmboard is giving away free tickets to the Oct. 29 showing at the Clocktower on Oct. 28 at 5 p.m.

(Patrick Ecclesine/Fox)

Unlike someone I know, you probably haven’t been planning your seven different Halloween costumes since last April. But the most important of all college holidays is merely days away. And if you are still struggling to come up with an idea that is clever, funny and cheap, don’t enter crisis mode just yet, because Cadenza is here to provide some inspiration for some simple, last-minute costume ideas that at least match one of those stipulations—mostly the “cheap” one.

Liz Lemon: I have found that “30 Rock” is applicable to nearly every aspect of my life. To be Liz Lemon, all you need is a “man shirt,” some Tina Fey glasses and a pair of left-handed scissors. Oh, and don’t forget to have food crumbs in your hair and a bra that’s held together with tape. It also helps to look extremely stressed and tired—which shouldn’t be too big of a stretch. Exhibiting feelings of debilitating loneliness is just the icing on the cake.

A Wild Thing: So you’re not really into the whole being-middle-aged-and-depressed thing. Revert back to your childhood and dress up as Max from “Where the Wild Things Are.” A Onesie would work best for this costume, but, sadly, they’re hard to come by and usually expensive if you do. An alternative would be just to grab some gray sweatpants and a sweatshirt, tape on some ears, whiskers and fangs and to be the most adorable and comfortable Bauhaus attendee to date.

Kate Gosselin: This one’s all in the hair. Straighten the front into weird side bangs and spike the back? Tease the back? I have no idea how this “woman” does it. But if you can figure it out, you’ve got this costume in the bag. Right, so the hair, some business casual clothes and the ability to hate your own children.

Balloon Boy: Just grab random objects—some Christmas lights, old photographs, a toy or two, and attach them to yourself, because you were in the attic the entire time. This one is great for those of you who are able to vomit on cue, especially if you get asked any questions that imply you are a member of a media-hoarding idiot family.

The House from “Up”: Speaking of balloons, our genius music editor came up with this one. All you need is a cardboard box and around 10,000 balloons. Well, I guess just a lot of balloons will do. Maybe you can even hire a curmudgeonly octogenarian and a Boy Scout to drag you around all night.

Sue Sylvester from “Glee”: One of the best new characters on television, Sue Sylvester, played by the impeccable Jane Lynch, is the no-nonsense coach of the award-winning “Cheerios” squad. This costume just requires a tracksuit and the ability to pull off quotes like “And if it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then, on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.”

Chris Brown and Rihanna: A costume for you couples who think being Jim and Pam from “The Office” is too blasé. You just need makeup and a fake restraining order. And people being Rihanna should keep any dancing and singing abilities they claim to possess hidden, much like the real Rihanna does.

Tobias Funke: Cutoffs. Blue paint. Homoerotic subtext. Done.

It’s no longer seen as just a “kiddie candy” day, and since you’re tired of always going as Batman or another Disney princess, you’ve been browsing stores and magazines for more than a month now. Problem: you still don’t know what you want to be for Halloween. With all the haunted houses and Halloween parties that you want to dress up for, why not go as something creative, interesting and unique? Hopefully you can effectively replicate one of the ideas in this article, or perhaps your creativity will be sparked.

First, let’s get political. Tina Fey hass done it and so can you. Why not go as Sarah Palin? As a Republican, even I find this one entertaining. In fact, four friends could dress up as Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John McCain and Sarah Palin. Rehearsing a mini-monologue or speaking for the whole night in an idiosyncratic accent could add a special touch to this costume. If you don’t like these ideas, try dressing up as Joe Six-Pack or Joe the Plumber.

Need another friend idea? Instead of going as Batman, Superman or Wonderwoman, why not go as a Powerpuff Girl? They’re just as cool, and making a costume for those will probably be easier on your pocket too. The bright colors and high-pitched voices are sure to bring smiles to the faces of any skeptical onlookers. All you need is three friends—or just add an orange Powerpuff Girl and make it four and no one will notice—simple shift dresses made in bold solid colors, black fabric for the belt and voila!

Okay so enough with the group ideas; you’re an individualist. You want your Halloween costume to be all about you. What about going as the Joker or Edward Scissorhands? To achieve the Joker’s look, get some white face paint or even baby powder, green hair spray or a neon green wig, a purple suit and red lipstick, and ask someone to help smudge your eyeliner or just spray water on your face to achieve the distressed look. Just make sure you don’t get too caught up in your new persona and try to rob a bank or anything. For the look of Edward Scissorhands, buy black lipstick and white face paint or powder, a black unitard, sharp-looking plastic knives and loads of duct tape. Hopefully you already have jet-black, stringy hair; if not, buy a wig too. This is a fun look, so go crazy!

Feel like going as an inanimate object? Why not go as a crayon or a whoopie cushion? The latter is a clever way to get others to sit in your lap. For the full effect, add a prerecorded flatulence sound every time someone sits. Crayons are just fun in general and technically you’d only need one color—but keep this idea as your last resort if all else fails or if you’re feeling desperate and low on cash.

If these ideas don’t excite you, then don’t go out on Halloween night. Just kidding!

Stay Stylish!