Now that we’re in college, it’s sort of weird to get as many presents as we did when we were little. We don’t like that and want to do something to rectify it. But since it would be even weirder if we bought our presents, we’re making a list. Hopefully someone important in the entertainment industry will find it and make all of our wishes come true.

Last week, Cadenza reviewed the new Justin Bieber Christmas album. Something else that happened last week? Halloween. For years, people have been lamenting the too-early start of the Christmas season, declaring that people shouldn’t be allowed to start celebrating Christmas until Santa closes out the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Justin Bieber recorded a Christmas album, and I can’t think of a better artist to release a Christmas album from a marketing standpoint. This will probably be the most popular stocking stuffer this year. Despite my acknowledged status as a “Belieber,” I did not expect to like the album—and yet, I did.

The other day, I saw a minivan bearing a linguistically clever bumper sticker demanding “Keep Christ in Christmas.” What exactly is the definition of Christmas? Purists will give you a spiel about the baby Jesus and the Virgin Mary, peace on earth and goodwill towards man. While Christmas is at its root a religious holiday, it has long since exceeded the limits of its original definition.

Devote as much energy to developing Buddha-like restraint as you would to sourcing Four Lokos before they become illegal.

When my grandparents asked me to write a Christmas list this year, I couldn’t help feeling demanding and selfish as I tried to compose a list. I felt bad ordering gifts, and I began reflecting on the materialistic implications associated with the Xmas List. The problem is that parents become slaves to the Xmas List. [...]

Once upon a time I realized I wasn’t the most important person in the world. But that was way back. Way, way back. Like last week, maybe even two weeks ago, before I was attacked with the splendid celebration of Thanksgiving and the miracle that followed, known as Black Friday. My days of accurate self-worth [...]