I’m starting to feel neglected. I always wanted to be the most important part of your life, but, lately, I feel like you keep pushing me aside to make time for your other “priorities.” And when we do spend time together, you’re always late. Most nights, we don’t even meet up until like 3 a.m. What kind of relationship is that?

Sometimes having a cuddle buddy can be nice, but other times, it can go horribly wrong. Who are these bedroom offenders, and what do they do? Here’s a list that provides a brief snapshot of the typical suspects.