The case for free drugs

Wash. U. students work hard, very hard. Every week, I work myself to the bone making sure that I get the grades necessary to succeed in the world. Now, I think that by the end of that week I have earned the time to relax and truly let myself go a little bit. I like to relax in the best way possible, with drugs.

The point is, different students use different methods to relax. Wash. U. should do its best to promote its students forms of recreation. Wash. U. should buy our drugs for us.

Do you realize just how dangerous it is for people to buy drugs from a suspicious source at the gas station? Not every dealer is some suburban dad with too much time to kill and the space for a weed farm. Most are sketchy characters who tend to lace their drugs with all sorts of unfortunate chemicals.

The danger associated with drug use is not something that we will ever be able to curb. But an institution such as Wash. U. with its long history of excellent education and access to billions of dollars in its endowment can surely afford to spend a few extra dollars making sure its students are happy and safe.

Now I know that this is technically illegal. But plenty of things were technically illegal, and still made terrible policy. Everything could be done under the table, and bulk rates would probably be more efficient. It could be covered under the health plan, and picked up through a simple system whereby students dire need for their drug of choice can simply go to SHS and get a daily or weekly supply.

Obviously this plan has its problem, but numerous studies have shown that recreational drug use isn’t dangerous whatsoever, and could actually be beneficial in the long-run.

If the administration agreed to this plan, they’d be doing every student a favor. Giving them a healthier lifestyle, and making sure that they will avoid the dangers and pitfalls of having to buy from sketchier characters on the street.

The school has a lot of money just sitting around unused. SU has carryover accounts every year that aren’t touched. That money could help us solve our problem of where to shop, and help us guarantee that we are never put in any danger.

Wash. U. seriously needs to consider such a daring plan. A major player like Wash. U. in the education field picking helping its students like this would be an inspiration for other schools that it might end the drug war. This is a win-win plan for everyone.

There is no better way to solve the danger associated with drug addiction on a college campus than to have the University purchase them for us. If anyone can think up a better way, please let me know. I’d be happy to show you the errors of your ways.