Phi Slamma Jamma to become University’s 13th fraternity

Jimmy Cox | Batboy
Sam Mi | Greenwich Lakes Observer

Phi Slamma Jamma opened up its doors to its first pledge class as it becomes the 13th fraternity at Washington University. The house, located on Upper Frat Row, has been known for hosting some of the top parties. “This is what I always pictured college to be like,” Abby Nash, a pre-frosh from North Dakota, said after attending PSJ’s Sandwich party. “I’m definitely coming here.”

Several brothers at Phi Slamma Jamma are tour guides and kindly offer their services to attractive female prospective students looking for a view of the nightlife.

The move to become a national fraternity has baffled some linguists who are attempting to find proper characters for Slamma and Jamma. The group has petitioned the International Greek Letter Naming Committee headed by renowned Emory University expert Ferguson Underling. “Tradition is something that we don’t like messing with,” Underling said. “But the brothers of Slamma Jamma were wonderful hosts explaining how they came up with their name and showing us their home.

The brothers of Phi Slamma Jamma are looking for men who are at least 6 feet 3 inches to pledge. One of the first tests for any potential pledge is to see if they can touch the rim of a basketball net. Failure to do so is grounds for immediate dismissal. “Phi Slamma Jamma is the only brotherhood based on the principles of physical achievement and knowing how to party.”