The best songs to have sex to Plus the songs that are guaranteed to kill the mood

| Cadenza Reporter

In 2008, Student Life published a ranking of the 10 best songs to play while having sex. In line with the “Sex Sells” business model, that list remains our all-time most viewed article. For this year’s Sex Week issue, Cadenza decided to update the list. Instead of doing a straight-up sequel, we decided to mix it up a little by dividing the list into different categories of sex. (Hopefully) sex isn’t the same old thing every time; different situations call for different songs. Not every sexy setting needs Barry White’s deep croon or Marvin Gaye’s smooth soul. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, you’ve got to have the right tunes for the right time. Here are the perfect songs for…

“Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want” by The Smiths
Because let’s be honest here, your first time isn’t going to last any longer than the one minute and fifty-three seconds this gorgeous song has to offer.

Anything and Everything R. Kelly Has Ever Written
Well, maybe not “Trapped in the Closet” (unless well-endowed midgets is your “thing”). But songs like “Ignition (Remix),” “Bump N’ Grind” and “In The Kitchen (Remix)” seem like they are scientifically engineered blends of pop, passion, and plastered. For something a little more recent, try his 2010 track “Just Like That,” a song so catchy you’ll find yourself humming while you’re humping along.

“High For This” by The Weeknd
The Weeknd’s style is definitely R&B, which automatically makes it sex-compatible, but its nocturnal, sinister atmosphere also make it very stoner friendly.

“F*ck and Run” by Liz Phair
It’s been 19 years since Liz Phair’s debut album “Exile in Guyville” dropped, but it still remains almost uncomfortably sexual. The lyrics of “F*ck and Run” are just as commitment-free as the title suggests.

“1, 2, 3 (You, Her, and Me)” by Rick James
In case you can’t count to three, Rick James has got your back (or maybe your front, depending on how you set up your three-way).

“Summer Mood” by Best Coast
Admit it. Best Coast perfected the summer love song. The sentiments behind “Summer Mood” are simple: about half the lyrics consist of the words “love” and “summer,” as if they are the only things that matter.

“Take Ecstasy With Me” by The Magnetic Fields
I don’t know if the Gay Love Song is a legitimate music genre, but if it is, “Take Ecstasy With Me” leads the pack with flying, rainbow-themed colors. The song ends with the heartbreaking line “We got beat up just for holding hands”, but gay singer-songwriter Stephin Merritt sings it with so much longing that it comes off as almost innocent. Plus, the singing synth line that closes out the track is the best orgasm popular music’s had since Robert Plant gave us every inch of his love back in ’69.

“Automatic Stop” by The Strokes
The Strokes’ entire sound embodies that volatile ground between love and hate, making them the ideal band for this category. Pick any song on their second album “Room on Fire” and its bound to be great break-up bang material, but “Automatic Stop” gets the nod for its ruthless chorus, “I’m not your friend, I never was.”

“Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra
Regardless of the kind of sex, some sort of post-coital ritual is a must. Ron Swanson dresses up like Tiger Woods. Joseph Gordon Levitt dances down the street like an idiot (I mean, getting with Zooey Deschanel would make any guy act that way). No matter how you choose to commemorate the morning after, “Mr. Blue Sky” is the perfect song for the celebration.

“Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star
Just about the sweetest song ever written. Goes great with the flowers and chocolates.

And now the 5 WORST songs to have sex to

5) “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye. Why not? Because such an unimaginative and cliché song choice can only be accompanied by sex of a similar variety.

4) “MacArthur Park” by Richard Harris. Why not? Because Richard Harris is the actor that played Dumbledore in the first two Harry Potter movies. And there is nothing about Dumbledore that should get your wand rising.

3) “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. Why not? Because even Rick Rolling someone during sex isn’t funny anymore.

2) Any Disney Song. Why not? Because it is so, so wrong.

1) “Jizz in My Pants” by The Lonely Island. Why not? Good luck making it if this song comes out.

  • Newbie on the block

    High for this and Fade into you are must haves! Cool list (well, apart from the “use Disney songs” suggestion :D)
    Anyway, try and for other hints, these are my #1 sources.

  • Fuziieciigdiieztcutte

    My vpwiioent is somewhere in the middle. I don’t agree that African music had little or no influence on the blues. It had a huge impact. But I also disagree that European music had little influence on the blues and that it’s only marginal. Blues simply wouldn’t exist without the contribution of white music, just as Bluegrass wouldn’t exist without the contribution of black music.As for the article, I think it minimizes the African influence too much and puts an over emphasis on the white roots of the blues.Erwin is correct when he says whites introduced lined out hymn singing and that African Americans adapted it from white practice. This is actually well documented and proven fact. However, the black American genre of lined out hymns, owes about as much to African music as it does white lining out. Blacks adapted this hymn style from the whites, but heavily infused it with similar music from their African culture. Eventually this hymn genre would absorb other influences (eg. the practice of singing lined out hymns in the rhythmic style of ring shouts).Their lined out hymns use the same ballad meter , the same hymn text, and the same alternating patterns of short and long lines of the white tradition (most often by speaking or singing the first line more quickly, than repeating the same lyric in a longer or long drawn out way). Additional to this, the term long meter is used for the slower drawn out variety of black lined hymns, a term also used for white lined hymns . The connection to white lined hymns is quite clear. On the other hand, other features in the genre such as overlapping vocal parts, and stylistic similarities to African dirge singing (sung slowly with the use of blue notes ) suggest a strong African infusion. It is clearly a hybrid musical form, a hybrid style that was a major influence on the blues and certain pre-blues styles (the slower moaning type of spiritual singing, blues ballads, chanted sermons, prayer moans, etc).I don’t personally believe there is a strong Gaelic-African American link with the lined out style of singing (as suggested by the article). This is a view traceable to the theories of Willie Ruff, which don’t hold a lot of water. Ruff ignores the non-Gaelic/ English language tradition of lined out hymns that were sung in both England and Lowland Scotland. It was the English language tradition of lined out hymn singing that clearly influenced the black hymn lining, not so much the Gaelic tradition (if it had any impact at all). The evidence is not particularly strong in the Gaelic direction. Lined out hymn singing wasn’t even exclusively British in origin, as it can also be found amongst the Amish from a German language tradition (it’s pretty doubtful the Amish hymn singing had any important impact on the slaves).Lastly, on Native Americans, there is actual evidence (though perhaps not airtight proof) of Native influence on some African American religious music. Mark Knowles in his book Tap Roots (The early History of Tap Dancing) gives good evidence of Native influences creeping into the ring shout. I myself sometimes hear what reminds me of Native Indian music when hearing blacks sing their lined hymns, but I’ve traditionally been cautious of attributing it to Native influence (aware that certain features in Native music, can also be found in African and British song). But there is one black hymn performance, that sounds especially like Native Indian music to me. I refer to the song O May I worthy Prove To See as performed by the Shiloh Primitive Baptist Association from Elkin, North Carolina. Their rendition of this hymn is an example of shouting style lining out (more upbeat and lacking the drawn out tones), displaying ties to the ring shout. It sounds similar enough to Native Indian music (at least to my ears), that I’m strongly inclined to say their some real Native element at work.There are some people who exaggerate the influence (or possible influence) of Native Indian music on black music, but it appears to have had at least a little bit of impact.

  • Shabosaurus Rex

    Tyler Frank is mah BOY!

  • Anonymous

    This is an awful list.