We’ve Scene it all!

Dear Scene,

  Not even a month in, and I’m having roommate issues! We decided not to fill out one of those roommate contracts (I know, mistake!), figuring everything would be cool. But things have changed; I go to the grocery store once a week, and I have special dietary needs. I have to buy a lot of pre-packaged foods, including ready-made sandwiches and salads. I keep them in our mini fridge, but my roommate seems to think that they’re fair game! He’ll come in late at night, sometimes intoxicated, and just have at my sandwiches! I tried putting sticky notes on them, but he did not get the hint. I want to confront him about it, but I don’t want to be mean or put a strain on our relationship...we’re gonna have to room together for the rest of the year. But still, I want my sandwiches back!
Distraught,
   S.W.


Dear S.W.,

Though we must admit this is one of the more unusual roommate situations we have heard about, we have a mild suggestion. The next time you head to the store, pick up an extra sandwich—one that you have noticed your roommate has a particular fancy for. On a night when your roommate comes back particularly trashed, be sure to leave this sandwich out where he can find it. However, make sure to add an extra ingredient: a generous helping of one of the top-of-the-line hot sauces—Endorphin Rush or Dave’s Insanity Sauce are good choices if your roommate isn’t a huge fan of hot sauces. After your roommate gulps this devilish monstrosity down, we are willing to bet he will take heed of your Post-it notes warning him to “Keep Off!”
Yours truly,
    The Scene Staff

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