My article last week discussed the term “unofficially dating.” Sure, as college students we all hear such terms thrown around, but when they become personal to us and our romantic dilemmas, we may ruminate more on these terms and what exactly they mean for our future romantic prospects. This week, I decided to outline a few key terms we all hear around campus. These five terms are presented from the most serious, or formal, romantic pairing to the least romantic setting.
Dating: We all know what dating is. Or do we? As college students we are faced with a multitude of daily choices, dilemmas and responsibilities. Personally, I tend to admire those few friends I know around school who are actually seriously dating other people. With the academic rigors of Wash. U., how do these people have time to date? Dating can be defined as both an emotional and sexual process, in which two people spend a great deal of time together. They mutually enjoy each other’s company, whether they are hooking up, having a more sexual experience or just taking a walk together around campus or Forest Park. Moreover, dating means an acknowledgment of the pairing. It means that if you are in a relationship, you are willing to put time and effort into making it work, since you truly have a special attachment and emotional connection to that person.
Exclusive: Sometimes, this term may come up in conversation, but it can be very vague. After all, what does exclusive actually mean in terms of romance? Being exclusive means that you and your special someone have talked about your constant hook ups, and you have forbid each other from hooking up with anyone else. However, being exclusive does not mean you are dating, for usually there is no true or actual romance involved. While being exclusive usually means having a more sexual connection rather than an emotional or spiritual connection, there certainly can be potential in being exclusive to progress to dating that person, if both people agree to it and feel it is right for them.
Together: This is a synonym for “unofficially dating.” While initially this may seem more serious than being exclusive, being “together” usually means that two people have been known to hook up constantly. However, the difference is that when two people who are “exclusive” have acknowledged that they should restrict hookups to only themselves, people who are ‘together’ have usually not acknowledged that they should not hook up with other people. This term can also bring to mind a “friend with benefits.” There is no real romance involved and no communication in terms of whether two of these people can hook up with other people.
Hooking Up: This is a single, purely sexual act between two people with little to no immediate emotional connection involved. However, a hookup can certainly lead to the potential for a more formal, serious relationship, and a hookup can definitely lead to one of the terms mentioned above if the two people enjoy the hookup immensely and both make it clear that it is a more than just a one time kind of deal.
Random Hookup: Finally, the lowest-ranked term on my little scale. A random hookup differs from the hookup term defined above because of its lack of potential. That is, usually a random hookup may very likely involve inebriation and may be spurred on by alcohol. While a hookup can happen between two people who are attracted to each other and may want to initiate a future relationship, a random hookup may be attributed to sexual frustration, inebriation or something of the like.
These days, romance sometimes just can’t be defined or labeled. No longer is everything black and white. Instead, we need terms and labels like the ones mentioned above for those sketchy gray areas while we try to sort out our romantic adventures and feelings and piece everything together.
The Idiot’s Guide to college romance
Romance 101
Published: Friday, October 31, 2008
Updated: Friday, October 31, 2008
1 comments
Scott
You still forgot to define "seeing".
