A guy’s guide to oral sex

| Senior Scene Editor

According to a recent study funded by Church & Dwight Co. Inc., the maker of Trojan products, women are more likely to orgasm when oral sex, or cunnilingus, is included in foreplay. Seventy percent of women aged 20 to 24 reported receiving oral sex during sex—so guys, if you’re not going down on your girl, you’re not measuring up to the majority of women’s sexual experiences.

If a lack of knowledge or experience is what’s holding you back, read this step-by-step guide, and don’t give yourself any more excuses for not getting down and dirty.

1. Start slow
Keep her wanting more by starting with slow, deliberate movements. She’ll love the anticipation—and it will certainly pay off in the end. Women like to be teased, so make sure not to get carried away and keep it light and playful to start. Try running your tongue along the inside of her upper thigh right next to the vaginal area, without actually touching it. It will make her crave more action.

2. Play with pressure
Not only is the tongue the strongest muscle in the human body, but guys, you also have a lot more control over your tongue than you do over your penis, allowing you to apply direct pressure to specific parts of the vagina. It’s crucial to vary the pressure of your tongue once you finally move toward your target. Use a broad, flat tongue to fully cover the vagina—this will apply gentle titillating pressure and will help lube up the area with saliva. For more intense pressure of specific arousal spots, like the clitoris, use a firm pointed tongue to circle and flick.

3. The clitoris is key
One mistake many guys make time and time again is that they often assume oral sex is virtually the same thing as standard intercourse. DO NOT simply thrust your tongue in and out of the vagina as you would with your penis. The tongue does not provide enough friction and is not long or thick enough to make this pleasurable. In general, stick to areas that are easier to access—like the clitoris. The clitoris is a woman’s most sensitive erogenous zone and, when stimulated correctly, leads to mind-blowing orgasms. Tease her for a while by lightly circling it with your tongue. Then try taking it into your mouth and gently sucking on it while softly flicking your tongue over the area—almost like a French kiss.

4. Get handsy
Don’t ignore your hands while going down on your girl—always keep them moving. A variety of textures and pressures is important since there’s only so much your tongue can do on its own. Since we’ve already established that it’s not your tongue’s job to do any penetration during oral sex, try saving this task for your fingers. While performing the above techniques on her clitoris, use your hands to either apply pressure to her inner thighs in a massaging motion, which also helps hold her legs apart, or use them to thrust a few fingers into the vagina, providing her with more complete stimulation.

5. Try some tricks
Aside from using your hands and tongue, there are some tricks you can use to make oral sex even more exciting. For example, using mentholated mints or mouthwash before performing oral sex can heighten the pleasure. When your breath is fresh and tingly from a strong mint, your partner will feel the tingling sensation along her vaginal lips and clitoris. You could also try using warming or cooling lubricants or scented massage oils to arouse your girl and amp up the excitement.

So for those of you who have never ventured down south in the bedroom, get over yourselves—this is an essential part of pleasing your woman. Keep these few tips in mind, and she won’t be able to get enough of you.

  • aung thu

    thank bro you make us more close

  • chanthan khun

    It’s the special method to provide our partners feel trust the men without hesitation

  • justin thompson

    U folks are waisting so much time writing these books when u all should be out loking for some one to have oral pleasure mabe with each other what ever u folks like

  • Andy lemons

    Dang, I was readin the comments, and, realized im not gonna sound near as smart as the rest. All I got to say is, THANX GUYS! I always wondered if I was doin it right. My girl would lie to spare my feelins. Guess she AINT been fakin!! Hooray! I appreciate yall takin the time to write this!!

  • james peterson

    i am a 12 year old boy and i think u’ve just made want to have oral sex!

  • jonathanemden1

    @Danny, I don’t understand how Austin’s original post merits such a mocking, condescending response. Although I did not have as strong a reaction to this article as Austin did, I understand and sympathize with his argument. Austin’s point may seem overly-sensitive to you, but both of you bring different experiences to your reading. I find it tasteless to attack his criticisms, especially in the dehumanizing way by which you do it.

  • dannyweltman

    Austin, I appreciate the effort, but you haven’t gone nearly far enough. “Guide to Giving Women Oral Sex” still builds in a gigantic host of assumptions that really only serve to marginalize various groups or individuals and substitute the constricting bonds of conventional societal mores in areas where we need to focus on inclusiveness.

    First, you’ve got “women” in your title, which assumes that anyone who has a vagina is automatically a woman, regardless of how they might choose to identify themselves. I think it’s pretty damaging to shut down entire avenues of self-identity by branding everyone as one gender or another simply based on what genitalia they happen to have.

    Furthermore, your suggested title also includes “giving,” which takes for granted that this isn’t going to be a commercial transaction. Sex workers already carry a horrendous stigma, having been marginalized morally and legally because of their choice of profession, and to describe sex as “giving” when it could just as easily entail purchasing is to brand paid-for sex as illegitimate or somehow not what we should care about when we’re discussing sex. That’s no good.

    Third, “oral sex” is problematic at best. What “sex” consists of is a complicated, difficult topic, and to presume that the activities described in the article constitute sex is to denigrate people who may choose to engage in these activities precisely because they do not see them as sex, perhaps because their religion forbids sex outside of marriage or something like this. If we just run around willy nilly calling things sex without engaging in constructive dialog about what is and isn’t sex, we pigeonhole people into viewing their activities in ways that may not be compatible with what they would prefer to believe if we had a more open, inclusive society.

    Finally I think I need to point out that “guide” is by no means a neutral term. To be able to guide someone in performing oral sex, we have to assume that there is a correct way to go about it, or at least some ways that are better or worse. This, I think, leads to a whole host of problems, but I’ll set those aside and simply focus on the narrower issue of whether someone who performs oral sex in a way not suggested by this “guide” (for example, someone who chooses to “ignore [their] hands while going down on [their] girl”) is somehow deficient sexually and is failing to give their partner the pleasure that oral sex ought to entail, or something like that. Better perhaps to phrase these things as “suggestions” or “options” and avoid excluding people who choose to act differently, or who perhaps do not have mobility in their arms (for example) due to a physical disability.

    My proposed title for this article to keep it from grievously inhibiting the cause of social justice within our society is “Possible Avenues for Providing Pleasure to Vaginas by Utilizing Your Mouth and Hands.” If StudLife will make this change then I think we’ll be most of the way towards solving society’s problems, and once we sort out racial, sexual, gender, social, physical, age, and other inequalities we’ll be the rest of the way there. I’m kind of busy over Winter Break but I think we can probably do it next semester if the Social Justice Center is willing to help out.

    – Danny Weltman

    • Well Said Sir!

      Wow… Who are are you and can I have your autograph? Your silly rant made me laugh and cry! are you an author by chance?

    • Frank Wheeler

      Wow. This is a classic. +1

  • Austin Wilmot

    Hi Daniel,

    I’d like to start off by saying that I appreciate you following up with me, because I do think this is an important conversation to have and keep in mind as we go our different ways in life.

    As we all pursue our higher purposes and make contributions to the world around us, there is undoubtedly a component of interaction that takes place with other people, all with their own differences categorically spanned across both majority and minority groups and areas of opinion. With the intent of being mindful of those around us and in doing our best to be compassionate in what we do, be it someone that writes for a newspaper or interacts daily with students as a housekeeper on the South 40, we all make/intend an effort, conscious or not, and to different degrees, to not make preconceived judgments and assumptions about the people with whom we interact. Discrimination is defined in many ways, but it is simply “the state of being biased or having a belief or attitude formed beforehand.” Thus, it is THIS underlying causative factor that forms the foundation of racism, sizeism, classism, heterosexism, etc. Whether or not we see these discriminations exemplified by society (or a given article that makes a preconceived judgment/assumption that its readers are heterosexual) depends on our own life experiences most often concentrated on how our own identities have been affected by discriminatory/ignorant behavior. We are also able to broaden our life experiences via compliments of education that we receive from others regarding diversity, social justice, or what just seemed like a good idea/common sense/or tidbit of knowledge picked up from an interpersonal interaction with someone of a “new diversity” that you had yet to encounter. (e.g. “ooh, I didn’t know saying “that’s so gay” is offensive, thanks for letting me know, now I know!”). Hence, these behaviors that are discriminatory/ignorant have spanned the spectrum in terms of bullies at school (which has led to an increased suicide rate in lesbian/gay students, as shown in recent media), the use of various ethnic slurs (disrespectful and pejorative), and, in an all-factor-encompassing fashion, the less than equal treatment of someone else in various contexts (e.g. history of enslavement, DADT, gay marriage).

    Although we will never be perfect in accounting for every possible diversity, there is much we can learn from each other that can change the way we interact and communicate our ideas with less potential for discriminatory interpretation and causing heterosexist repercussions, such as those I previously described in my other comment. Speaking to your initial point, it doesn’t matter whether or not the article was written for a majority of heterosexual students. (Does that mean that discrimination is OK as long as you don’t discriminate on the “in-group”/majority group, compared to the “out-group”/minority group?) The actual article is unremarkable to this discussion insofar as there is still a belief that, as you state, “The title…“A Guy’s Guide to Oral Sex”…seems properly worded enough…because that’s what the article is about” continues to be the current position. That is, in fact, not what the article is geared up to be to many people. Therefore, in the context of this discussion and article, it is important to recognize that not only guys give oral sex to women (lesbian women, etc.), and that not all guys that are giving oral sex are giving such to women (gay men, etc.) A more appropriate title would be “Guide to Giving Women Oral Sex” where it does not assume that the person giving oral sex is neither a man, woman, nor anything in between, and does not assume that what is contained in the article is only informative to “guys”. I know quite a few lesbian women that would love to know #1-5!

    I am glad students feel free to talk about sexuality openly and honestly in our paper (this wouldn’t happen at all universities), and I hope that readers gain insight from this focused, yet broadly applicable discussion.

    Good luck on finals everyone!

    Sincerely,

    Austin Wilmot
    RA & SJC Member

  • Daniel Caldera

    @ Austin:

    While I think your point in general is fairly well-taken, a few thoughts:

    While this guide was written primarily for an audience of heterosexual males, I don’t know if that is automatic grounds for deeming it discriminatory and ignorant. One of the points of the article is that guys, being guys, do not have an intuitive knowledge of the female body, and that following the advice given might help guys be able to make foreplay and oral sex more pleasurable for women. Whether or not men need guide on how to eat out women more than women do, I can’t say, but its an important part of the purpose of the article that I don’t think can be ignored.

    While the article does not explicitly say this, and Hana can correct me if I’m wrong, part of the point of the first paragraph is that the stereotype that oral sex between a man and a women is centered around blow jobs is inaccurate, and that the sexual experience will be better for everyone if the oral pleasure flows both ways. Whether or not that position is true is left up to each couple, but the article seems to be addressing this specific dynamic that occurs between men and women. The line telling men to “get over themselves” and venture down south, if nothing else, states that some guys don’t consider orally pleasuring women a priority in the bedroom. Again, I don’t know if this is true or not, but I don’t think its fair to read this as saying that men are the only ones performing oral sex on women. The article is written to address a specific issue: that not enough guys will or do perform oral sex on women, and that doing the following will drive their girl into orgasm land. simply because it does not discuss all possible contexts for oral sex does not make it socially “unjust” or ignorant. The title is “A Guy’s Guide to Oral Sex” because that’s what the article is about, and thus seems properly worded enough.

  • Austin Wilmot

    Although this article was written with the best of intentions, it is important to point out for StudLife and its readers that titling this piece “A guy’s guide to oral sex” is, without question, heterosexist. That title actually promotes injustices, marginalizes the LGBT community, reinforces the heterosexual sense of privilege and normativity, and could be interpreted as an ignorant and discriminatory statement. Education is the only solution to promoting “Socially Just” dialogue internal and external to StudLife. Therefore, I would recommend that care be taken in future articles to insure that meaning is properly worded. Perhaps, re-wording your title to take away the assumption that the reader is heterosexual, or speaking to both heterosexual and homosexual populations in your piece would be ways in which these concerns are eliminated. Thank you and feel free to contact your friends in Residential Life and/or the SJC for more information.

    Sincerely,
    A concerned RA and Social Justice Center (SJC) member,
    Austin Wilmot

  • bloop

    How come there’s no outrage from the local St. Louis population on this article as opposed to the moral-panic induced by the StudLife article on giving a textbook blowjob?

    yall be hatin on our penises

  • Rick

    What do I get in return? I have enough on my plate already I dont know if I can *swallow* these tips too.