Age ain’t nothin’ but a number…right?

I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a crush on a certain 17-year-old—almost 18!—runner-up from American Idol this past year. I’d also be lying if I denied making out with someone twice my age at a sketchy bar in Chicago.

These two tidbits of information led me to consider age with regard to romance and relationships. Just what is considered an appropriate age disparity for dating in today’s society? Miley Cyrus, who shockingly just turned 16, is dating a 20-something-year-old model guy, drawing a great deal of criticism and skepticism from the media. Hilary Duff, at the age of 18, dated that guy from Good Charlotte who was 10 years her senior. While it seems that drastic age differences do not deter Hollywood stars from dating, in the lives of us normal, unglamorous people, age does make a difference.

So in real life, would I ever actually date that 42-year-old I kissed? Definitely not. As a friend put it very clearly, this guy was my present age before I was even born. In other words when I was 0 years old, this guy was 21 years old. To me, this isn’t really okay. Would I ever consider dating David Archuleta? Indefinitely. Sure, he’s 17 now, but he’s turning 18 in a week, and four years in age different in this case seems alright.

Of course, we should never, ever date, or do anything for that matter, with someone under the age of 18. While I can certainly dream about meeting Mr. Archuleta at his concert and falling in love, I would certainly never act upon these desires. Until, of course, he turns 18, and then all bets are off.

But what about those older folks? Everyone is different and at different maturity levels throughout different times in their lives. Though I may be turning 22 years old, do I have the maturity level of a college graduate? I’d go with no. Still, I know some very mature people close to my age whom I could see dating a 30-something-year-old. In fact, I know a few. Still, for me, this is a stretch.

What we have to consider is where people are in their lives. We college students live in a kind of sheltered bubble, where we are primarily concerned with our schoolwork and social lives. A 30-something and certainly a 42-year-old are in much different places than we are in, considering their careers and life experience. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t consider myself to have had many life-defining experiences…unless you count running into two of your high school teachers at a gay bar in Chicago—in which case I’m pretty sure my life has certainly changed.

The point is that we should all try to connect with someone romantically whose maturity levels match our own. In my case, I probably should only be dating others guys in college. For some of us who feel ready to date an “older” guy or girl, may the force be with you. Just remember to look for what feels natural and comfortable for you.

And David, if you’re somehow reading this article, call me. I have just a bit of a “crush” on you.

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