What to do and where to go when Washflu catches you

| Senior Scene Editor

You wake up. It’s 4 a.m. You roll to the side, away from the pool of sweat that’s accumulated around your chest and thighs. Every inch of your body touching your Washington University tempurpedic mattress feels like it’s been pummelled by that half-ton gorilla that starred in your psychedelic fever dream last night. A stream of snot has crusted to the side of your face, and you sneeze, spreading the mess further.

I hate to break it to you, and your free Habif Center for Health and Wellness thermometer will tell you in a second anyways, but you (probably) have the flu. The flu, which has been slowly striking down all of your classmates (but not really because everyone keeps going to class anyways). The flu, which has been so extreme this year that the Habif Center requested, in a push email sent Tuesday, that every student receive a flu shot. The flu, an almost unstoppable force that year by year is lessening the effect of the flu shot in preventing contraction of the disease at all. The flu shot is now mostly just a way to mild the symptoms, and shorten the duration. The flu, the reason pharmacies are having to stockpile tamiflu as more and more people flock to the shelves.

If you’d like to see your future with this worthy foe, follow this flowchart and come to terms with your fate.

Screen Shot 2018-01-25 at 12.44.20 AMGraphic by Josh Zucker