Fraternizing with fraternities: New party themes to try

Katy Hutson | Contributing Writer

So, you’re getting ready to go out. It’s a Friday night, or a Saturday, or—if you’re really committed to your nightlife—it’s a Wednesday or a Thursday. You’ve curled your hair, beat your face and spent 10 minutes trying to decide if those heels are worth the tear-jerking foot cramps. If you’re a guy, I don’t really know what you’ve done. I always imagine deodorant being shrugged at noncommittedly (screw commitment, am I right?). Then, you ran your hands through your hair after you pulled on those khaki shorts that you’ve already worn out of your laundry for the past three days. I’ve always been pretty OK with this obvious disparity in effort, because I understand that I care about the party’s theme a little more than the average bear. If I spend a little extra time on my appearance, I get to shed everything about myself and take on a new persona, a new life. Maybe I’m just more inclined to escapism than others, but themes are something I get genuinely excited for.
You know what’s not exciting? Dressing up for a “Spring Break” theme upwards of five times in a year. Look, fraternities, we get it: Boys like bikinis, and it’s spring. HAVE AN IMAGINATION FOR GOD’S SAKE. Or just use any of the themes I’m about to list, because I refuse to call cutoff jean shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and a lei a “persona” ever again.

Ghosts and Side Chicks

Ghosts: I personally would go for a bedsheet with two holes in it for this one. If you want to be on the more inconspicuous side of things, you could simply strike up a tantalizing conversation with any person, then mysteriously disappear. To be more of an insensitive jerk, simply refuse to acknowledge said person’s existence once they suggest y’all go somewhere else. You might not make any friends, but I think you’d learn some good lessons about being a decent human being.
Side Chicks: The actions are more important than the outfit on this one. See anyone hitting it off? Get in there.

Snapchat Filters and Emojis

Snapchat Filters: Throwing-up-rainbow paint, flower crowns, beards and Ray-Bans, dog ears, cat ears…the possibilities are endless.
Emojis: Dancing twins, surfer dude, just a paper mask and all black clothes, salsa girl, punk rocker chick…update your phone to see the full range of options.

Kings and Queens

Everyone can just wear a crown and feel powerful for this one. Queens: princesses are overrated; I want you to RULE. Kings, try not to do all the horrible things your predecessors have done. Just try.
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know My Life
A party to commemorate teenage angst—and maybe some current angst too. I would be in all black, eyeliner to my eyebrows, purple lipstick and pink hair. To finish the look, I’d wear big Skullcandy headphones and play “Teenagers” by My Chemical Romance on loop at full volume. Get in touch with your emo side. Carry around a cigarette with “metaphor” written on it. If you care, you’re doing it wrong.

Jackson Pollock

Wear all white and get freaky with some paint.

Arcade Games

Pac-Man, Mrs. Pac-Man, a Pac-Man ghost, Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Donkey Kong…y’all can fill in the blanks.

Birds and Bees

One of my favorite parties I’ve ever not been invited to, but tried to get into, was bee-themed. I dressed up as a bee, memorized the first paragraph of the Bee Movie script, and wrote “the bees are dying at an alarming rate” all over my body. Needless to say, I got buzzed in. You can be like me and go as a bee fanatic or as a cute bird. Maybe wear all nude-colored clothes, or make a bedsheet into a dress? Your birthday suit isn’t necessarily acceptable, but you could always go as a ’90s parent attempting to explain “the birds and the bees” to various couples. This would be a great forum for the sex education that the public-school system and the parents of the people making out in the corner may not have given.

Body Builders and Yoga Masters

Leggings, a sports bra and a messy bun. Count me in.