Where to take your parents this weekend

Put on your visors and zip up your khaki shorts! Parent and Family Weekend is upon us! Ah, parents. So eager! So excited! So caffeinated! So excruciatingly difficult to entertain for 48 hours! Don’t worry though—Scene has the lowdown on where to take your parents this weekend.

Class: Look, they don’t want to say it outright, but your parents came to St. Louis with one goal and one goal only: to kick back and unwind during your 8 a.m. bio lecture on Friday morning. They’re here to live vicariously through you! They want to reminisce on their college days! Are they inconspicuously sipping mimosas from a Thermos? Do you have a problem with that, young man? Do you need your classmates to be notified that you wet the bed until you were 16? No? That’s what I thought. Now settle down and let mommy and daddy talk to the nice young man selling mushrooms from his backpack. They’re going to need a little something before they participate in the rest of the First Year Center’s planned activities. — Rima Parikh

Bear’s Den: Anyone heard of the Lotus Casino from the Percy Jackson series? Bear’s Den is Wash. U.’s Lotus Casino. The clock stops ticking when you’re at Bear’s Den. So when you’re exhausted from a long, tiring Friday and your parents are bubbling with excitement and can’t wait for you to take them around campus, here’s an idea: Take them to Bear’s Den. Surrounded by the plethora of food choices, it is extremely easy to lose track of time and spend hours just sitting on those comfy sofas, catching up with your parents about your classes, professors, homework, crushes and more. You won’t even realize how long you’ve been here until you see people lining up for crepes at Cherry Tree Cafe. Treat your parents to some delicious crepes, and should they make any references to the dreaded “freshman 15” syndrome, take them upstairs to the fitness center and assure them that both food and fitness go hand-in-hand, quite literally. I can guarantee their reactions will be priceless. —Anusree Natraj

The Loop: Let’s be honest: The Loop is the coolest place in St. Louis. Busch Stadium and the Arch pale in comparison. With the finest eateries, cleanest sidewalks and friendliest passersby, The Loop is the perfect place to wander around with your parents. It’s completely unique to St. Louis; no other college town has a trendy block of little shops, hookah bars and casual restaurants. Your parents didn’t come here to see cliched tourist traps; they came here to see what you love about St. Louis. Maybe you haven’t actually seen anything in St. Louis besides the Loop. Don’t worry, you don’t need to venture further than a mile off of campus to see everything there is to see in St. Louis. There’s nothing better than the Loop, and your parents will be totally blown away by it. —Ariel Kravitz

South 40 Fitness Center: Your parents heard that Wash. U. was ranked fourth fittest college in America by the Active Times and are wondering why you spend all your free time watching Netflix and eating potato chips in bed. Obviously everyone else at Wash. U. must run 12 miles a day and do 200 push-ups if you managed to get such a high rating. They really want you to stave off the freshman 15, so they’re kind of concerned about your “bad habits,” especially after you tell them that you usually take the campus Circulator to class instead of walking and that your favorite menu item at Bear’s Den is the half and half. No worries, you can take them to the South 40 Fitness Center to assuage their fears! Obviously your parents will have a great time watching you work out, and they’ll especially enjoy looking out for students reading books while on the treadmill or wearing jeans as they use the arc trainer. And if you really want to have fun with your parents, you can let them stand outside and look up at you through the glass windows as you work out! Sounds like a good time to me. —Ella Chochrek

Ditch your parents and go ANYWHERE your roommate’s parents are going: Yeah, it’d be great if your parents were here, but now you have an even better opportunity. Hang around your friend’s parents, and you’ll get all the wonderful treatment you might have received from your parents, with none of the tacked on guilt-tripping! No, you haven’t been looking for an internship, but now you are enjoying free Seoul Taco without being incessantly queried about it. So make sure to play on those parental instincts of your friend’s parents—they’ll feel bad for you, no doubt. But you will know it is all in your favor. You might even hear those embarrassing baby stories of your friend, too. ­—Harry Hall