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'Pour some fructose on me': How to go downtown

Citrus Cunnilingus and Fruit Fellatio

David Brody

Issue date: 2/13/06 Section: News
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First, become familiar with your citrus. Know the ins and outs of the grapefruit.
Media Credit: David Brody
First, become familiar with your citrus. Know the ins and outs of the grapefruit.
Warm up with some gentle rubbing and foreplay. Get those grapefruit juices flowing before getting down to work.
Media Credit: David Brody
Warm up with some gentle rubbing and foreplay. Get those grapefruit juices flowing before getting down to work.
Don't be squeemish about diving right into the heart of the citrus.
Media Credit: David Brody
Don't be squeemish about diving right into the heart of the citrus.
Give that citrus an experience it will never forget. If your tongue isn't sore by the time you finish, you haven't been thorough enough.
Media Credit: David Brody
Give that citrus an experience it will never forget. If your tongue isn't sore by the time you finish, you haven't been thorough enough.
Remember to put plenty of focus and pressure on the cherry. Try spelling out the ABCs with your tongue.
Media Credit: David Brody
Remember to put plenty of focus and pressure on the cherry. Try spelling out the ABCs with your tongue.
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Always mop up the mess.
Media Credit: David Brody
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Always mop up the mess.
Start off by teasing the banana. Run your tongue lightly over the tip.
Media Credit: David Brody
Start off by teasing the banana. Run your tongue lightly over the tip.
Be gentle with the banana. If you are too rough you could hurt it, resulting in both a bruised banana and ego.
Media Credit: David Brody
Be gentle with the banana. If you are too rough you could hurt it, resulting in both a bruised banana and ego.
The cardinal rule when blowing a banana is be careful not to use your teeth. The fruit is very sensitive to scraping.
Media Credit: David Brody
The cardinal rule when blowing a banana is be careful not to use your teeth. The fruit is very sensitive to scraping.
Try to mix it up a little by cupping the kiwis and giving them some lovin'.
Media Credit: David Brody
Try to mix it up a little by cupping the kiwis and giving them some lovin'.
Once you get down to business, keep up a solid rhythm and really put some suction on the fruit. Your hand should be used to work the shaft.
Media Credit: David Brody
Once you get down to business, keep up a solid rhythm and really put some suction on the fruit. Your hand should be used to work the shaft.
Be a good sport and swallow the fruit once it turns to mush. Bananas are rich in vitamins like potassium.
Media Credit: David Brody
Be a good sport and swallow the fruit once it turns to mush. Bananas are rich in vitamins like potassium.

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Comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive. Comments are not edited for grammar or spelling; posts with profanity will be posted at the discretion of the moderator and only after profanity has been removed.

Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5

Pappas

posted 11/04/06 @ 2:00 PM CST

oh man. this is hilarious. it's like, porn but not. oh how very clever.

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Gerd Gerhard Loeffler

posted 11/30/06 @ 3:56 PM CST

This is disgusting! It looks like porn, but it is NOT!)
see also:
http://derultimativewgblog.blogspot.com/

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usy

posted 8/27/07 @ 2:53 PM CST

hey, I was just wandering what religion this qoute is from;

Cleanliness is next to godliness

I've seen it in Islam

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Joey

posted 3/03/08 @ 11:49 PM CST

Ooooooh man!!! This is a lot better than most porn. Most of all, educative.

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Mrs. H

posted 3/05/08 @ 9:34 AM CST

Hmmm... I thought this was a "Newspaper" which would imply that it provides some sort of pertinent "news" to the public. Well, I have "news" for you: this kind of activity has been going on for centuries. (Continued…)

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