8:58: It’s starting soon, it’s starting soon!

9:00: Recap of last week’s show. Poor Malvin. Mitchell should have been sent home week 1.

9:02: This season wins for best contestant names, Ra’mon, Malvin, Epperson, Qristyl, Gordana, Althea, it goes on….

9:03: Beach day! Tim Gunn is looking fabulous in khaki’s and flip flops.

9:04: Surf ware was too easy, yay for throwing in team challenge. Shiz is gonna go down.

9:06: Qristyl and Epperson are a team!! Also, from this point on, Louise will be known as Diablo Cody.

9:12: Design a second look! Capital WTF!

9:13: Tyler Perry, stop making movies! Who keeps funding this, we need to have a long talk. Also, Schick Quattro, the commercial where you trim the triangular bush. Not okay. Not okay even a little bit.

9:16: Avante garde challenge, where are Christian and Chris March when we need them.

9:18: And Carol Hannah will be known as either Clarissa or Melissa Joan Heart (MJH).

9:19: Mitchell, how did you get on this show? I can sew better than you. Also, loving the lace ass-less chaps Nicolas.

9:21: Poor MJH. You’re model is now working for Arby’s.

9:25: ” I feel like I’m in a cartoon with a superhero and Greek goddess.” = If Mitchell doesn’t get kicked off today, I am going to stop watching this show. (Sort of).

9:27: The best parts about the previews for the Georgia O’Keefe Lifetime movie are the giant pictures of vaginas.

9:28: Also, Sandy Bullock, why must you keep making ridiculous movies. I want to like you!

9:30: Mitchell saw something shiny. And he’s distracted for 8 minutes.

9:32: Ra’mon, I am freaking out for you!!!

9:39: That was about 5 minutes of bad advertising.

RUNWAY SHOW:

I see some booty, Epperson.

Interesting hand dye job, Ra’mon.

Way to go MJH and girl I always confuse with other girl.

Diablo, your mad design skills were just bananas, homezskillet.

HOLY GOD, a mermaid-tranny-prostitue from the future just walked the runway!!!

Judging:

Oh my god Mitchell, how in god’s name are you in the top two. Ra’mon, you made it work.

Kick his ass, Heidi, you kick Mitchell’s ass!

Can you send someone home even though you are in the top two? Mitchell. Mitchell. I hate your existence.

Oh no! Either Epperson or Qristyl is going home! They are why I watch that show.

These subtitles are sort of insulting.

9:50: </strong

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