6:39pm: Why is Matthew McConaughey at the Oscars. And yes, I know he’s presenting.

6:43pm: Anne Hathaway looks amazing. Here’s to her presenting going well.

6:44pm: Where is Banksy?!

6:58pm: Finally, a Natalie Portman sighting!

7:00pm: 30 minutes to Oscars!

7:18pm: Hailee Steinfeld NEEDS to win tonight. J. Biebz declared it. And let’s be real, the performance was amazing too.
7:32: And we’re starting! This is pretty amazing so far.

7:36pm: Alec Baldwin making Inception jokes is my favorite thing ever.

7:38pm: Loving the hosting job so far.

7:41pm: “I just saw Marky Mark.” – James Franco’s grandmother.

7:45pm: Alice in Wonderland just won Art Direction. Shocker!

7:47pm: And Inception just won Cinematography! Wow! I’m 0/2 so far.

7:49pm: Supporting Actress, the hardest award to predict, is up next. I’ve got Hailee Steinfeld. I feel like anything is possible now.

7:57pm: Melissa Leo wins. Ugh. Anyone who runs their own awards campaign obviously has no respect for the movie she was in.

8:04pm: Melissa Leo dropped an f-bomb. JT and Mila Kunis presented the Animated Short Award to The Lost Thing. I’m 0-for-4.

8:06pm: And Best Animated Feature goes to Toy Story 3. My first prediction right. 1-for-5. Lee Unkrich gives a great speech. Pixar for life.

8:14pm: And Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network. 2-for-6.

8:16pm: Aaron Sorkin gives a great speech and gets played off. Rude, orchestra. Just rude. Let him thank the gotdamn actors.

8:18pm: Best Original Screenplay goes to David Seidler for The King’s Speech. 3-for-7.

8:26pm: Anne Hathaway gives an amazing solo performance and Franco comes on in drag.

8:27pm: Foreign Film goes to In a Better World! 4-for-8. I’m at 50%.

8:31pm: Supporting Actor goes to Christian Bale. 5-for-9 #mylifeisnewsies

8:42pm: Original Score goes to Social Network. 5-for-10. Wow. Social Network has more Oscars than King’s Speech as of right now!

8:47pm: Sound Mixing goes to Inception! 6-for-11.

8:48pm: Sound Editing goes to Inception too. 7-for-12. Inception has the most Oscars so far!

8:56pm: Cate Blanchett walks on to the Lord of the Rings music to present Costume Design and Makeup. Makeup to Wolfman. 8-for-13.

8:57pm: And Costume goes to Colleen Atwood for Alice in Wonderland. 8-for-14… King’s Speech is not cleaning up like I assumed it would.

9:03pm: Original Song time. Randy Newman performs We Belong Together from Toy Story 3 first…

9:12pm: Amy and Jake out to present Documentary Short and Live Action Short. Doc Short goes to: Strangers No More. 9 for 15! And God of Love for Live Action Short. 10 for 16!

9:17pm: They do a young and hip musical montage full of auto-tune… what.

9:20pm: Oprah walks out to present Best Documentary. This is awkward because her movie, Waiting For Superman, wasn’t nominated. And it goes to someone who isn’t Bansky and I’m really upset! Just kidding, Inside Job was favored I guess… shoulda been Exit. BANKSY.

9:22PM: I hate when speeches get preachy, regardless of what choir they preach to. Oh, and 10-for-17.

9:34pm: RDJ and Jude Law present Visual Effects to Inception. 11-for-18. You go, Inception. That’s 4 Oscars!

9:35pm: And Editing goes to Social Network! 12-for-19! 3 for Social Network.

9:42pm: The flawless J. Hud introduces the flawless Florence Welch and A. R. Rahman to sing the song from 127 Hours. And then Gwyneth Paltrow sings the song from Country Strong and luckily changed out of that alien outfit and is generally boring. And the Original Song Oscar goes to: Toy Story 3! That’s 2 for Toy Story 3… 13-for-20.

9:50pm: He also called out the music branch’s weird rules. You go Randy Newman. 20 noms. 2 wins. I respect that.

9:56pm: In Memoriam segment is as touching as always. Lena Horne gets a special tribute from Halle Berry.

10:02pm: Hilary Swank introduces Kathryn Bigelow to announce Director. You go K. Bigz! And Tom Hooper gets Director FML. So much for The Social Network winning more Oscars… 13-for-21.

10:17pm: Jeff Bridges to present Best Actress and it goes to Natalie Portman for Black Swan! 14-for-22. Amazing girl, deserves it!

10:25pm: And Sandra Bullock gives Best Actor to Colin Firth for The King’s Speech. 15-for-23. He should have won last year though. Good performance though.

10:29pm: Commercial break. Watch newly minted Academy Award Winner Natalie Portman in her best role yet: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1404/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-natalie-raps#s-p16-sr-i2

10:33pm: THIS GOTDAMN T-STORM WARNING IS RUINING THE BEST PICTURE MONTAGE STL PULL IT TOGETHER

1-:36pm: And Best Picture goes to The King’s Speech. You did, Harvey Weinstein. Congrats.

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6:21pm Poor Sara Bareilles, having to sit through Giuliana and Seacrest’s awkward banter about absolutely nothing.

6:24pm Willow Smith actually dressed like a normal person for tonight’s event. Get it girl. Whip that hair. Also apparently she’s performing with Justin Bieber. What a beautiful, beautiful alignment of talent.

6:26pm I may hate Miley Cyrus but props to her for taking over her interview with Seacrest. What have you been doing, Ryan?

6:29pm Janelle Monae is beautiful!

6:30pm NICOLE KIDMAN.

6:35pm Justin Bieber getting interviewed.

6:51pm Temporarily switched the channel to watch Gaga on 60 Minutes. Now I’m back. Heidi Klum and Seal! Klum looks great.

6:59pm Hope Gaga is the opener again. Here we go!

7:00pm Apparently the Aretha Franklin tribute is first. I’m excited! Florence and the Machine AND Jennifer Hudson. I’m there.

7:02pm How has LL Cool J won two Grammys?!

7:04pm Jennifer is gorgeous and has the most gorgeous voice. Martina McBride sounds great too. Aguleira is probs gonna mess up the lyrics here…

Alieza Schvimer is here with me now to liveblog.

7:04pm AS: She actually didn’t screw up the lyrics!

7:05pm AS: Is she even singing words? She can’t screw up the lyrics if she doesn’t sing words.

7:06pm GM: As good as she is at singing, I do not like watching Aguleira perform at all. Really like Martina’s voice though.

7:08pm GM: Florence is working the hand-flap. And she sounds incredible. AND NOW JHUD IS DOING RESPECT.

7:10pm GM: The only disappointing part of this medley is the severe lack of Aretha Franklin hats.

7:11pm AS: The shoulder pad seems to be making a comeback.

7:21pm GM: First Grammy of the night goes to Hey Soul Sister (Live) by Train for Best Pop Duo or Group. VOM. I hate this song and its stupid lyrics that don’t make sense.

7:22pm J. Biebz reference count: 1.

7:22pm BORN THIS WAY OMG

7:30pm GM: Lady Gaga sang live, she danced amazingly, the outfit wasn’t overly bizarre, probably her best actual performance to date. It was a very Grammys-esque performance. It’ll be hard to choose between that and the Aretha Franklin tribute for performance of the night.

7:33pm GM: Miranda Lambert gets to follow up Lady Gaga, but this song is amazing.

7:38pm For those who are interested, Miranda Lambert is playing at SLU on Thursday, February 24.

7:39pm GM: And now Muse, playing a song that isn’t Starlight, therefore I don’t care.

7:41pm GM: This song would mash up really well with Blondie’s “Call Me.”

7:49pm AS: YES to Ryan Seacrest. GM: …

7:50pm Gm: B.o.B, Bruno Mars, and Janelle Monae performing! AS: Who is Janelle Monae?

7:52pm AS: I don’t really understand the purpose of this being in black and white. Oh, because grenades are just such inferior technology.

7:55pm GM: Janelle Monae better hit it big after this. I LOVE HER.

7:58pm GM: Zac Brown Band presenting Female Country Vocal. It goes to… Miranda Lambert for The House That Built Me. Once again, she’s performing at SLU on the 24th!

8:05pm GM: It’s Bieber time! AS: This might save the Grammys for me.

8:06pm GM: This is kinda homoerotic. Usher and Bieber should never try acting.

8:08pm AS: Are they going to zoom in on Selena Gomez soon?

8:10pm GM: Dangit, Willow is in the audience with her parents. Jaden killed his rap.

8:13pm GM: They just got a standing O from Will Smith and Nicole Kidman. THEY HAVE OSCAR NOMINATIONS.

813pm GM: Paramore and that Zooey Deschanel wannabe from NCIS presenting Best Rock Album to Muse for The Resistance.

8:21pm GM: Selena Gomez and someone who isn’t Justin Bieber present Best Pop Vocal Album to The Fame Monster for Lady Gaga and her butt.

8:25pm GM: David Letterman introduces another old person (Bob Dylan) and Mumford and Sons.

8:28pm GM: Wait, Avett Brothers are here too, singing something that sounds like the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

8:31pm GM: Bob Dylan… someone needs to escort him off the stage. His mic is broken or something. And he looks lost.

8:40pm GM: Lady Antebellum introduced by Lea Michele and Clay Matthews, aka two really random people that probably don’t belong at the Grammys.

8:42pm GM: Lady Antebellum is performing Need You Now… It’s a quarter until nine, I’m a little bored, and I need the Grammys to hurry up…

8:44pm GM: Miley Cyrus and Kings of Leon (IT’S CAUSE THEY’RE FROM TENNESSEE) present Best Country Album to Lady Antebellum for I’m a Desperate Booty Call… I mean Need You Now. Shoulda been Miranda Lambert.

8:46pm GM: Jamie Foxx makes a bunch of dumb jokes about Forget You and then introduces Cee-Lo Green, The Muppets, and Gwyneth Paltrow performing Forget You. I don’t understand the hype over this song AT ALL.

8:48pm GM: Cee-Lo just forgot a line to his own song ahahaha

8:50pm GM: Where are the Muppets that matter…

8:57pm GM: Neil Patrick Harris introduces Katy Perry, who performs a song that I’ve never heard. AS: The reason I’m watching the Grammys! GM: Sounds like a Taylor Swift song…

9:00pm GM: This is going to be awkward when Katy and Russell Brand get divorced…

9:01pm GM: Nicole Kidman was singing along to Teenage Dream just now. WHAT.

9:03pm GM: Norah Jones, Keith Urban, and John Mayer perform a tribute to Dolly Parton, who is not dead.

9:05pm GM: Those same three present song of the year to Lady Antebellum for Need You Now.

9:12pm GM: Seth Rogen just made a Miley Cyrus joke. Introduces Eminem, Dre, Rihanna, the guy from Maroon 5 and someone named Skyler.

9:14pm GM: Some shitty background flames behind Love the Way You Live Part II… dying of laughter.

9:15pm GM: Yeah, a standing ovation for the most misogynistic man in hip hop. Way to go.

9:18pm GM: The girl that might be named Skyler keeps on wailing about how she needs a Dr. CAN DR. DRE COME OUT ALREADY SO SHE CAN SHUT UP?!

9:20PM GM: John Legend and Jewel present Best New Artist to Esperanza Spalding… who isn’t Florence and the Machine or Justin Bieber, so I don’t understand what is going on. AS: SHOULDA BEEN BIEBER.

9:25pm GM: Esperanza Spalding is the only New Artist not scheduled to perform tonight… So awkward.

9:28 AS: Matthew Morrison and I have the same birthday, nbd. He also introduces the Grammy President and it’s really predictably boring.

9:30pm GM: Oh, apparently they crammed Esperanza in to the jazz band that plays behind the Grammy President… poor girl.

9:35pm GM: And Mick Jagger is paying tribute to Solomon Burke. Apparently this is the first time he’s been on the Grammy stage. That’s just embarrassing, Grammy planning committee.

9:46pm AS: Barbara Streisand is here to promote Little Fockers, obvi.

9:51pm GM: Nicki Minaj and will.i.am present Best Rap Album to Eminem for Misogyny and Homophobia. Nicki Minaj is wearing her wig from the Bride of Blackenstein SNL skit.

9:58pm GM: The announcer just called Diddy Puff Daddy. Is this 2004?! He introduces What’s My Name… AHAHAHA BEST PUN EVER

10:04pm GM: A very awkward J. Lo and her husband present Record of the Year to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.

10:11pm GM: Jason Segel cracks some jokes and introduces Arcade Fire.

10:22pm GM: After a crazy, seizure-inducing Arcade Fire performance of Month of May, Babs and Kris Kristofferson present Album of the Year to Arcade Fire for The Suburbs. Deal with it, Katy Perry and Eminem and Lady Antebellum. AS: Too upset over Katy and J. Biebz. And Arcade Fire is performing an encore!

That’s it for us!

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See what all that time in the library caused you to miss.

Related posts:

1. YouTube Video of the Week
2. Surprising Beatles News, and Americans Drink HOW Much Natty a Year?!

The first time I watched, a woman revealed her biggest baggage: she gets paid to be a dominatrix. Seriously? Needless to say, he did not pick her. I don’t understand why this show exist.

Anyway, the man at the end of every episode has to reveal his biggest baggage. In one episode, he slept with his best friend’s girl. In another, he was at a strip club while his ex was having his child. Again, seriously? Best part, the chosen woman, when confronted with his baggage, said she would go on a date with him. Yeah, he’s an upstanding guy. Good for them. I hope they have happy lives together.

Obviously, I view this show with disdain, but it’s still pretty fun. Check it out on the Game Show Network.

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That’s when I got off the Potter train. After the fourth installment, it seemed like these books were just following the same formula as they got longer and longer for no real reason. The first three were pretty manageable, but “Goblet” was a monster of a book and frankly, I had better things to read at the time.

Through no desire of my own, I have managed to see the film adaptation of “Goblet” no less than three times. I’m not really sure how it happened, but it did. I’ve also seen movies one, two and six. Having no clue what went on the fifth book, you can imagine I was pretty confused during “Half-Blood Prince,” but hey, my friends paid for the ticket, and the theater served liquor.

Speaking of the sixth movie, my friends say Snape is on Harry’s side, but he did not look friendly at the end of “Half-Blood.” I mean, did you see what he did to poor Dumbledore? Expect a long-awaited showdown between the Boy Wonder and Severus Snape. Harry will definitely be out for revenge.

That said, I don’t think Dumbledore will stay down for long. Expect him to follow in the long tradition of magical grey-haired mentors: if you strike him down, it’ll only make him more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

The real question is, how will Dumbledore make his triumphant return? Will it be a dramatic ride over the horizon with an army of giant eagles at his back, swooping in to save Harry from certain death, à la Gandalf? Or will he appear to Harry at crucial moments, magically guiding him from the beyond, in classic Obi Wan style? I can’t wait to see how they handle the post-Voldemort barbecue celebration in the forests of Hogwarts. Perhaps we’ll even get to see what Harry’s parents look like when their ghosts join in the festivities.

I might be getting ahead of myself here, but it’s pretty obvious that what we’ve seen so far is a textbook example of the Godfather Misdirection Method. Sure, you think Harry Potter’s the main character, because that’s what you’ve been led to believe over the last ten years. In fact, “Deathly Hallows Part 2” will almost certainly reveal once and for all that Dumbledore was the star of the story all along. Trust me, it’s much harder to convey in literature, but once you see it on the big screen, you’ll understand.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the ground Ms. Rowling is breaking here. According to my research, there has never been a gay protagonist in any film ever. So when you’re settling into your seats tonight at the theater, remember that you’re witnessing history being made.

No research whatsoever was done for this article. Please send adoring letters to craig.ostrin@studlife.com and hate mail to cadenza@studlife.com.

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Back in April, Cadenza compared and contrasted Netflix and Hulu on their movie and TV selections and their prices. There wasn’t a clear winner. While Netflix had a bigger database of movies and TV shows, Hulu had a trump card, or something close to it. What was Hulu’s Queen in a game of Egyptian Ratsrew? Timeliness. Hulu only carried three to five episodes of each show, but they were almost always the three to five most recent episodes. Use Netflix to study history. Use Hulu to keep up to date.

But things have changed. In April, Hulu Plus was just a rumor, but then the website officially launched the service in June for $9.99/month. A subscription gave viewers access to the backlog for dozens of shows. When compared to Netflix’s vast resources, Hulu Plus was charging a similar price for less stuff.

Hulu Plus recently dropped its price to $7.99/month – the same price as Netflix’s Streaming-Only option – which makes things more interesting. But little else has changed. You can find nearly all of the shows and episodes on Hulu Plus on Netflix Streaming too, but that extra dollar nothing for Netflix also gives you more shows and thousands of movies. Seriously, Hulu Plus. Where’s Pushing Daisies? Where’s the entire series of Friday Night Lights? Oh right, they’re on Netflix.

Subscriptions to Hulu Plus and Netflix let you stream on the same slew of devices (iProducts, approved televisions, no Android. Never Android.). It’s great that Hulu Plus is stepping out of the non-computer screen, but it’s a shame that you can’t access Hulu Minus on anything besides a computer. I’m sure it’s more the networks’ fault than Hulu’s, but it’s frustrating nontheless.

Hulu is basically a cloud-based DVR that records shows before you even have to ask it to. It’s convenient and free, everything the internet’s about. But Hulu Plus is overpriced and underwhelming, even at just eight bucks a month. My recommendation? Visit vanilla Hulu while it’s still free and enjoy Netflix’s big library on the side.

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All of this is relevant to theatre because “The Curse of Starving Class” includes brief nudity. Nudity in theatre is not new, but this was the first time I had seen it on stage. It’s a weird thing to spring on an audience, perhaps, but the action itself fit into the plot appropriately. There’s nothing offensive or provocative about it. If you buy a ticket for “Curse,” though, the box office will warn you of brief nudity. I want to respond to our culture’s approach to nudity, especially in the context of art or communication. Why are we less comfortable with something natural like the body than with unnatural acts like violence and murder? Remember, a film with nudity will garner a higher MPAA rating than one with violence.

It’s perhaps out of the scope of this blog, but the best example I can think of is Cuarón’s “Y tu Mamá También.” To be brief, this film explicitly shows the characters having sex. It’s not glamorous or glorified, but portrayed as something the protagonists use to mature and understand each other. In contrast, consider “300,” in which the sex is clearly nonessential and meant to excite its targeted audience. If these were plays, I could understand a warning about the second sort, but why the first?

I acknowledge that I’ve raised more questions than I’ve answered, but the whole thing has been bothering me since I saw “Curse” last night. What are your thoughts on the matter? Sound off in the comments below.

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But, last night’s episode contained less musical numbers than usual, and that meant all of them were good. And Gwyneth Patlrow’s take on both “Forget You” and Mary Todd Lincoln – Emmy Award for Outstanding Actress in a Comedy? In the words of Artie, “hells to the yes.”
I’m actually not sure if he has said that, but I am sure he would.
Miss Mary Todd Lincoln

Pros
Baby glee club members!
Artie’s ghetto-fabulousness
The return of Darren Criss as Blaine, and our favorite Vogue magazine cover
Animal Hoarders
Sue’s latest dig on Shue’s hair
Brittany learning the second half of the alphabet.

Cons
William Schuester
The return of Terri
The “sick-baby game”

And lastly, I now present the best mash-up in Glee history.
Umbrella/Singin’ In The Rain
The better bring that waterfall with them to sectionals.

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iTunes has been hyping big news to be revealed today, promising Monday on their home page “Tomorrow is just another day. That you’ll never forget.” Wow, that period really lends some gravity to the situation. It’s like a movie trailer featuring Denzel Washington. Anyway, if you believe the Wall Street Journal, Apple has finally bought the rights to the Beatles’ back catalog, so maybe the period is justified.

Although it is not known if the iTunes selection will feature just studio releases or live albums and rarities, this is huge news, as the Beatles are one of a small and shrinking number of major acts to withhold their releases from the online world. Led Zeppelin was the last big classic rock band to put their music on iTunes, and they caved over three years ago.

So anyone who can’t afford to buy all 12 studio albums (pretty much all of us in college) and still doesn’t pirate music (there’s got to be a few out there, right?) now has the opportunity to check out at least the classics from what is probably the greatest band of all time. Check out the Beatles in action below.

In completely unrelated news, Americans drink — are you ready? — a billion dollars of Natty a year. That’s a billion like $1,000,000,000.00. Stratocoaster wants to know if any of that comes from people over the age of 25. What of it, readers? Can you claim some of that billion? Does it make you kind of sick (physically or spiritually) if you do? Let us know in the comments, and check back daily for more entertainment news at The Funcooker.

Oh, hey, it’s the Beatles.

\”Come Together\”

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