Our holiday wish list for Wash. U.

Student Life’s Editorial Board is always looking for ways to help our beloved school be a better institution for the undergraduate student body, and this year is no different. With such a hectic and riveting semester behind us, here are some things we would like Wash. U. to improve in the spring semester and beyond.


On average, I spend well over 40 hours a week in the Danforth University Center. Sure, most of that is spent upstairs on the third floor in the Student Life office. But, when I don’t have to be there I try to diversify. But sometimes, I fall asleep with my computer open. Sometimes, I wake up and it’s uncharged. Sometimes, I just forget to charge it. And then when I get to Tisch Commons—my favorite place to work on campus—my computer is close to dead, and only a few of the tables on the side have outlets that are always taken. There are middle tables, sure, but nowhere to plug my charger in. Then I’m left with no choice but to return to the Student Life office, much to the dismay of everyone who—even tangentially—knows me. Basically what I’m trying to say is the lack of outlets in the DUC is perpetuating my Stockholm Syndrome. —Noa Yadidi, Editor-in-Chief


So this may be a bit trivial and really I don’t have it as bad as some other people, but the doorframes at Wash. U. are just too damn low. There’s a small moment of panic every time I have to do…well, basically anything. I’m not saying change everything you already have, but maybe take us taller folk into account with the new buildings, please? —Wesley Jenkins, Associate Editor


I’m only here for one more semester, but I’m going to make one last ask in the name of all those who will come after me—especially since the future of parking on campus looks grim. Please, Wash. U., for the love of all that is good and holy, institute a better off-campus shuttle system. The circ is great for doing laps of the Danforth Campus, but the Campus to Home service schedule is still woefully inadequate, and the Metro Bus Green Line’s route is limited. All of the options aren’t much good after 1 a.m., when many students are still working on campus. And now that most students won’t be able to park on campus starting next year, the need is more urgent than ever. —Maddie Wilson, Managing Editor


As Maddie mentioned in her entry, if Wash. U. wants to get cars off campus then they need to make alternate forms of transportation more accessible. Right now, I bike to classes, and let me tell you, I hate weaving in and out of pedestrian traffic just as much as you hate getting clipped by handlebars. Once cars are de facto outlawed from campus (whether it be through parking pass prices or legislation) more people are going to turn to bikes as their primary mode of transportation. Once that happens, the pedestrian-biker conflict will only get worse. Imagine a game of Frogger except the frog can’t see behind them and the car (bike) is frustrated that the frog has headphones in and can’t hear the car (bike) yell, “On your left” six times. We’re going to need bike lanes, Wash. U. Help us all out and save the campus a horde of wipeouts and crashes. —Aaron Brezel, Senior Sports Editor


When I came back to campus early this year for a pre-orientation program, I was shocked to find the hideous, neon green “Swamp Creature Friends” waiting for me on move-in day on the South 40. Then the new Sumers Recreation Center opened, and I saw the airbrush, color vomit disaster that is the “mural” on the front wall of the gym. Folks, when your school is commissioning the equivalent of Bar Mitzvah t-shirt art for their $50 million buildings, you have to admit something is very wrong with their taste in art. So, please Wash. U., if you’re going to pursue a policy of one piece of art for every new building, make sure you don’t mess up. And heck, maybe ask a student (or two) for their opinion in the process? —Peter Dissinger, Forum Editor


Cole slaw, done the correct (southern) way, contains mayonnaise or perhaps buttermilk as a base. This creates a beautiful mix of cabbage, carrots and sauce. It should not be a wet, vinegar-based mess. Wash. U. Dining Services seems to prefer the latter. Every BBQ plate I have ordered has included said coleslaw, and while the rest of the plate is simply delightful, this South Carolinian would love a bit more attention paid to the slaw. — Noah Jodice, Director of Special Projects


There’s one thing that’s been missing from my educational experience: classroom pets. I propose that each class next semester receive their own small animal (preferably furry, but I guess birds work too). Whenever you’re in class and need motivation, you can just look at how hard Penelope the hamster’s little face works when she chews cut-up baby carrots. Whenever there’s a lull in discussion, you can chime in with, “Man, it’s great we have this guinea pig.” I know you’re like, “Rima, who’s going to clean all these damn animal cages?” Me! I follow about eight different hedgehog accounts on Instagram, so I assure you I am qualified. Work with me, Wrighton. —Rima Parikh, Senior Scene Editor


Sometimes, late at night, I get a hankering for a certain snack. After I bundle up and make my way to Paws & Go, I am often dismayed to find the candy I frequently pick up at the Village (Watermelon Sour Patch Kids, thank you very much) is not there. Wash. U. is a cohesive campus, and its dining services selection should reflect this. For people with allergies, having certain foods in one place and not another presents a challenge throughout the day. Also, in the name of Aaron Carter, “I Want Candy.” —Aidan Strassmann, Copy Chief



Time is a very precious commodity. Yet I struggle daily with the decision: To wait in the line at the Village for food, or not to. Though there are options that take under 20 minutes, most of them involve heat-up noodles, or a rare lucky day of comfort food. From there, Village-goers have to decide how important it is to eat healthy, nutritious foods (since they’re usually a longer wait). These problems could be solved with some simple reorganizing of space, addition of new cooking staff or pre-made healthy options. — Lindsay Tracy, Senior Cadenza Editor