The best and worst of Valentine’s Day
Wash. U. students are pretty terrible at this whole romance thing. In case your best idea for a perfect Valentine’s date involves six textbooks and a Kit Mao lecture, your friendly neighborhood StudLife senior staff is here with some excellent (and terrible) date ideas for Valentine’s Day.
Best: Go ice skating in Forest Park, holding hands during endless laps as the snow lightly falls on your shoulders.
Worst: Cross the river and enjoy an East St. Louis strip club. Maybe your date will dance along!
Best: A romantic threesome with Michael Tabb and a large plate of hot wings.
Worst: Going through all the effort of making small talk and still having to pay for my half of dinner.
Best: Providing fodder for a Taylor Swift song.
Worst: Showing up at a renaissance fair dressed for a disco party.
Best: Get a deep-tissue couple’s massage with scented oils and lotions at MassageLuXe to set the mood for a perfect night.
Worst: Go on a romantic walk around Forest Park and watch a rom-com afterward.
Best: Staying in and cooking for each other and watching a movie.
Worst: Infusing your lube with habanero extract to spice up your V-Day sex.
Best: As long as it involves a punny Hallmark card, I’ll be happy.
Worst: Any date from “Fever Pitch,” or any date involving 40,000 people in pink Red Sox hats singing “Sweet Caroline.”
Best: Watching the entirety of the second season of “House of Cards” after we order in crappy Chinese food. There might also be scotch.
Worst: Ken Ham speaking at a Genesis First fundraiser. There is nowhere else in America I’d rather not be.
Best: Go to Bailey’s Chocolate Bar for some of the best desserts in St. Louis.
Worst: Go to the “Conquest: A Tribute to Metal Gods” concert at Pop’s. (Unless you and your significant other are really into Iron Maiden.)
Best: We either get a really nice dinner at a Clayton restaurant or get Taco Bell, and then we cuddle in bed and watch “30 Rock” or a very serious documentary on Netflix.
Worst: We go to a movie and you talk during an important scene. And walk slow.
Best: Cooking a romantic dinner together.
Worst: Going to a rave or some wild concert thing.
Best: A romantic dinner and Peter Frampton comes and sings to us.
Worst: Ice skating. It makes me really nervous and uncomfortable.