A desecration of hope

Lauryn McSpadden | Contributing Writer

I write this with a leaden hand—my whole body is filled with dread, disappointment and confusion. I dread living in a country where a racist, misogynistic, arrogant man, accused of sexual assault by multiple women and endorsed by the Ku Klux Klan, is president. Even more, I am incredibly disappointed in my country for voting him into the position, for endorsing his spiteful rhetoric, condescending unpreparedness and gross degradation of the core values of the United States. I am confused because I have no idea how we got here, to this place of polarization and extremism, to this America I do not recognize at all.

I have Muslim friends afraid to leave the 169 acres of Danforth Campus, afraid of how people will feel entitled to act towards them under Trump’s blinding sanction of prejudice and hate. I have friends calling me from London and Switzerland asking, “What the hell happened?” and laughing at what people call the greatest country in the world. I have a pit of fear festering within me for the United States, for my friends, for me.

As a woman, I worry. I fear for my body, which Donald Trump believes I have no right to govern. As a black person, I am terrified. For months, I watched him encourage the assault of my people at his rallies. I listened to him grossly diminish the black community in his speeches and debates. I heard him claim he wants to “Make America Great Again,” invigorating racists and emboldening xenophobes, knowing it was never great for people like me.

I worry about what comes next. Trump claimed he would repeal Obamacare in the first 100 days, but when will he propose an alternative plan? When does he start deporting Hispanics? Will he close our borders to all Muslims? Will he put Clinton in jail, attack Roe v. Wade and kill the families of terrorists? Over the course of his campaign, Trump has unabashedly spouted lie after lie so who knows what he actually plans to do when he becomes the most powerful person on the planet.

Since the election, the internet has been full of jokes about booking flights to Canada and moving out of the country, but I cannot laugh. I cannot make lighthearted jokes or receive any more platitudes, because I love my country, and, on Nov. 8, it became blatantly clear that the majority of my country does not love me. I do not know what to expect from the upcoming months as Trump prepares for presidency. I know I dread listening to the next commander in chief supply rhetoric saturated in hate and prejudice. I know that I hate feeling like I never really knew America at all. We have elected a bully, a bigot and a man with virtually no qualifications. There is no way to justify this, America. In this unprecedented election, America boldly elucidated its principles and beliefs, and it is terrifying.

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