Why I should not have watched the Superbowl and maybe you shouldn’t have either

And maybe you shouldn’t have either

| Staff Columnist

I watched the Super Bowl. Kind of. I was in the room with the TV on, and there were digital representations of professional athletes playing football on it. There were other people in the room watching the Super Bowl. There was also some pizza, chips and as much soda as anyone could want. I was looking at the TV for most of the time the little people were running back and forth. Never at any point in time (except during some of the commercials and most of The Who’s set) did I have any idea what was going on. I do not think I was alone. Every time something non-straightforward happened, someone in the room asked what that call was, or why it was made, or why the coaches and players were acting the way they acted.

Now I’m sure that there are some die-hard football fans who were able to follow the game perfectly. I’m sure they could tell me at any given point what the odds were that such and such would happen or what the optimal play would be. (Though who would predict an onside kick before the fourth quarter?) Perhaps the Super Bowl was an enlightening experience for these people. Maybe it was even transcendent.

I do not come close to that level of understanding. There are some things I know, and football is not really one of them.

I used to say that I watched the Super Bowl for the commercials, which are generally considered to be some of the best around. Once they started getting halftime acts I liked (generally post-Janet Jackson incident), I said I watched it for the halftime show. This year was different. This was the year when I tried to watch the game for the game itself and not for any other reason.

This decision was not entirely mine, though I had no way of knowing that when I made it. The Who played a great set, but I could have just as easily listened to complete songs of theirs on my computer. They didn’t do anything especially unpredictable, and they didn’t do anything new.

The commercials this year were uniformly terrible, with a few exceptions. Google gave us a heartfelt Parisian love story, and Bud Light taught us important carpentry lessons. Apart from that, it was mostly just various departments working under the Doritos heading trying to out-bizarre each other. Throw in some creepy talking E*TRADE babies and you’ve got yourself a multi-million-dollar waste of time.

Now, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the game. I thought it looked pretty good. I could have saved myself two hours and just watched a highlight reel and the best commercials on YouTube afterwards. Perhaps the reason not to watch is not because the game is beyond my grasp. Perhaps it is the medium. With the ever-continuing spread of the ubiquity of entertainment on the Internet, I find fewer and fewer reasons to ever tune into anything else.

Randy is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at r.brachman@gmail.com.