And yes, Comic Sans MUST DIE.

I was going to quote an online dictionary’s definition of sincerity at this point in my argument, but that seems like an infinitely recursive contradiction to me (not to mention the direct opposite of what I’m trying to acheive in this post). The point I’m trying to make is that clearly these people in the linked video don’t really know what they’re talking about (and insincerity seems contingent on this premise), but that doesn’t mean that they do, in fact, lack sincerity.

Let’s be honest here: these students are commenting on a Princeton Review ranking of “Quality of Life”. At a university. I mean, gimme a break… That’s the equivalent of asking a fish how it feels about the ocean being wet.

“Well… Um… It’s, like, pretty cool and stuff. I mean, there’s lots of water everywhere… And that’s good because I need that to breath. And I guess all my food lives in water. So that’s good, too. And I hear that the land is kinda dry. So… yea, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Of course, we have no way to know if the fish secretly hates being wet all the time. Or if, deep down, he really wishes that he was a coatimundi (look it up) so that he could finally crawl onto land and feel the thrill of hunting bird’s eggs and insect larvae in trees. The fact of the matter is we can’t know these things. The only thing we can know is this transcript attained through questionable means by some freakish, underwater reporter with waterproof pens and paper who either found the only talking fish in the ocean or can speak with the denizens of the deep telepathically, a la Aquaman.

But maybe that’s besides the point. What I’m really trying to get across here is that these students (or the fish, take your pick) are no less sincere because they are responding to a bogus question. Anyone would respond in the same way (make up a bunch of BS) because that’s the only way they know how to respond. What we’re seeing as the audience (to this or any video) is an infinitesimally small slice of a person that, just on the basis of it being a incomplete portion, can never be truly sincere. And maybe that’s what you were trying to say, and in that case, I’m really happy for you, I’m gonna let you finish, but Comic Sans is one of the best fonts of all time. OF ALL TIME.

$$$money$maker$booty$slapper$$$ out.