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The SNL Dream Team: Hosts we want for the 37th season

Without Kristin Wiig and Andy Samberg, it’s hard to imagine what “Saturday Night Live” will be like when it airs its season premiere on Saturday, Sept. 15, with host Seth MacFarlane. Thankfully, “SNL” announced on Tuesday that one day each month they will be opening up their Facebook page and Twitter feed to viewers’ host and musical guest suggestions. So, taking the lead from “SNL” itself, Cadenza came up with our very own dream hosts.

Jason Bateman

Jason Bateman will be hosting in early 2013 after season four of “Arrested Development” is released to Netflix—I can just feel it (or at least hope for it really badly). He’s only hosted once before, during his initial hey-day on “Arrested Development,” so it’s only fitting that he should come back strong for the show. Back in 2005, Bateman made a plea with the audience to watch “Arrested Development,” with Amy Poehler at his side. Now, almost eight years later, I expect him to use his monologue to thank the audience for staying with him all this time. And when—not if—Bateman returns, I want an “‘Arrested Development’: Where are they now?” sketch. Bateman will play the future 75-year-old Michael Bluth who is trapped in the model home, which has been transported into outer space. In the sketch, Gob will be riding a hovercraft-segway, Lindsay will look exactly like her mother, and Buster will be a soldier accidentally placed on the side of the aliens—nothing will have changed. –Alieza Schvimer

Bill Clinton

Fresh off his triumphant speech at the Democratic National Convention, there is no one better to host “Saturday Night Live” than good ol’ Bill. In addition to acting as the musical guest—he would play his saxophone—Clinton could use the opening monologue to once again speak to a large Democratic audience that supports President Barack Obama about why they should continue to support the president.

Clinton is very receptive to comedy and was featured in a 2011 Funny or Die video that also included former “SNL” cast member Kristen Wiig and Ben Stiller as well as funnyman Jack Black. Even though Clinton appears to be an obvious choice, it may seem impossible for someone who was elected president of the United States to be willing and able to host “SNL.” However, Al Gore was nominated for president in 2000 and then took the “SNL” stage just two years later, so anything can happen. –Brian Benton

Donald Glover

Aside from Joel McHale, Glover is arguably one of the best-known stars from the uproariously funny cast of NBC’s “Community.” His turn as Troy Barnes, the (rather air-headed) high school-quarterback-turned-dropout, consistently has some of the best one liners and gags on the show, delivered superbly through Glover’s expressive style and comedic timing, skills that would translate well to being an “SNL” host. Aside from his primetime acting credentials, Glover served as a writer for the critically acclaimed comedy “30 Rock” for three years and received a Writers Guild of America Award for his work on the show. The point is, this guy is actually funny (something that’s been lacking in hosts as of late). Moreover, he could do his monologue as rap alter ego Childish Gambino, who took the festival circuit by storm this summer, and we might at last have an episode of “SNL” that’s entertaining from start to finish. –Kayla Hollenbaugh

Ryan Gosling

Being chosen to host “SNL” is a pretty big deal; it requires you doing something pretty special in your field. So if you are an actor, being in a couple of starring roles in well-received movies like “Drive” and “The Ides of March” would seem like a good start. Apparently not for Ryan Gosling. Basically the only thing he didn’t do in 2011 was host “SNL.” He’s an incredible actor who showed he can be funny in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” Plus, he’s incredibly attractive. Basically, SNL has dropped the ball by not having him host yet. All hope is not lost, though. In January his next big film, “Gangster Squad,” comes out, which has him paired up with Emma Stone again, so if we are really lucky we will get both of them! –Trevor Leuzinger

Anne Hathaway

The last time she hosted was in 2010, so it’s definitely time for Anne Hathaway to make her third appearance as host of “SNL.” We know she’s the perfect “SNL” host from her spot-on impersonation of Katie Holmes on “The Miley Cyrus Show.” Hathaway deserves to be in the spotlight even more these days because of her humorous and fierce role in this summer’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” Plus, with “Les Misérables” coming out Christmas Day, she’d be a perfect and relevant “SNL” Christmas Special host. Basically, it’s inevitable for her to host this year, so I’ll just say I can’t wait to see her in a musical sketch where she plays Catwoman. This time, she will be in competition with a real live cat for the very last morsel of catnip! –Alieza Schvimer

Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim

Heidecker and Wareheim, the demented geniuses behind “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!,” spent the show’s five seasons creating some of the most absurd, nonsensical and downright hilarious sketch comedy I’ve ever seen, completely outclassing “SNL”’s tepid writers in the process. They play their public-access-TV-meets-bad-acid-trip style completely straight, which would prove a perfect counter to “SNL”’s grating self-awareness (I’m looking at you, Bobby Moynihan). Their presence would ensure that, for at least one week, we would be spared from lazy, somewhat topical jokes and half-baked celebrity impersonations in favor of some good old-fashioned insanity. And maybe, just maybe, “SNL”’s writers would learn a thing or two about risk taking…OK, probably not, but we’d get one hell of an episode. –Mark Matousek

Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Arguably the most versatile actor working today, Hoffman’s range is nothing short of astounding. Equally adept in comedic (“Boogie Nights,” “The Big Lebowski”) and dramatic (“Capote,” “Magnolia”) roles, Hoffman is an actor’s actor, a chameleon capable of losing himself in just about any character imaginable. Such versatility is perfectly suited for the wide range of skits in each episode of “SNL.” He would also lend some much needed, albeit temporary, gravitas to a cast that just lost its most talented member in Kristen Wiig. Most importantly, he would have no trouble avoiding those awkward, the-host-doesn’t-belong-in-this-skit-but-we-put-him-in-anyway-because-we-have-to moments that have plagued “SNL”’s less gifted (see Michael Phelps) hosts. –Mark Matousek

LeBron James

“SNL” doesn’t generally have many athletes host, but if they do, they probably just won a championship or something. Check and mate. The King is reigning over basketball courts worldwide (see 2012 Olympics), coming off his first NBA Finals victory, and, oh yeah, the best player in the world right now. He hosted back in 2007, but it’s probably time to get him back onstage. He would probably wear funny clothes—check out his post-game interviews—which is a plus. And he’s a team player, which is perfect for sketch-based comedy; he just makes everyone around him better. –Trevor Leuzinger

Mindy Kaling

With her promising new comedy “The Mindy Project” premiering Sept. 25, Mindy Kaling is sure to attract lots of attention this fall. What better way to show this oft-overlooked comedienne a little love than with a hosting gig on “SNL”? There’s no question that Kaling is worthy of the honor—aside from writing, producing and starring in her latest project, Kaling is also wrapping up a nine-year tenure on “The Office,” which should provide plenty of fodder for a great opening monologue. It’s not clear whether Kaling has any celebrity impressions up her sleeve, but her past performances have made it clear that she’s hilarious enough just being her charming self. –Katharine Jaruzelski

Ryan Lochte

If you didn’t get enough of Ryan Lochte in London, imagine the prospects of the chiseled swimmer hosting his own “SNL” episode. Based on his interviewing prowess (or complete and total lack thereof), one cannot fathom what Ryan would accomplish running an entire show where he would have to deliver a monologue for more than a few seconds. Perhaps viewers could even make drinking games out of each time he uttered his patented “Jeah.” Maybe he’ll even use the show as a platform to launch his designer clothing line. While Lochte may have failed to meet expectations by returning from London with only two gold medals, I guarantee he will redeem himself by hosting one of the best episodes ever of “SNL.” –Ian Lever

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Student Life | The independent newspaper of Washington University in St. Louis since 1878