Lionel Hahn | Abaca Press (MCT)

As a duo, we’re pretty much still “crazy in love” with Beyoncé, especially after her Super Bowl performance. Naturally, when the announcement of the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour came out, we shrieked/cried/giggled/cheered. Seeing Beyoncé isn’t just a historical occasion meant for your grandkids. It’s also an opportunity to see some sites! Get cultured! At least that’s what you can tell your parents when you ask for the birthday/graduation gift of a lifetime. Because, unfortunately, there wasn’t a St. Louis date, here are our top five picks for where to see what promises to be the best tour of 2013.

Montpellier, France — May 20, Parks & Suites Arena

Treat yourself to a post-commencement present of a trip to this southern French city and a ticket to one of the last European dates of the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour. It’ll be expensive to book a transatlantic flight, hotel arrangements and tickets but doesn’t the Queen deserve the best? Speaking from experience, the French are not riotous concertgoers, and when I went to see Bassnectar, I was able to get to the front of the venue. So rather than fighting off Beyoncé’s super-fans in the States, be a Fitzgeraldian expatriate and “Ring the Alarm” across the pond.

Houston — July 15, Toyota Center

Beyoncé is from Houston. That’s like going to Plymouth Rock and seeing the pilgrims face to face. America was practically founded on Beyoncé anyway. Maybe you will meet people who were there when Beyoncé performed at her mother’s hair salon. Maybe you will eat at Beyoncé’s favorite restaurants, like Frenchy’s, This Is It or Pappadeaux and see her extended family. Maybe you will find a way to sneak into her childhood home. The possibilities are endless. If you drive from St. Louis, it will only take you approximately 13 hours. That’s 13 hours of perfecting your vocal range as you attempt the last part of “Love on Top.” Score.

Chicago — July 17, United Center

If you are staying in St. Louis this summer and feel like you’re living in a volcano, then the Chicago Beyoncé show is the place for you. Chicago, a cooler city (both literally and figuratively) than St. Louis, is a straight-shot, no-nonsense five-hour drive up I-55, which gives you plenty of time to listen to many Beyoncé/Destiny’s Child singles and learn all of the words. Take some time to appreciate Barack Obama’s hometown (the president is a close friend of Beyoncé) and enjoy some deep dish pizza before the concert. It will help soak up the tears you will shed as you think about how “irreplaceable” Beyoncé is.

St. Paul, Minn. — July 18, Xcel Energy Center

This seems like a strange place to see the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour as the Twin Cities are neither close nor particularly dear to the heart of Beyoncé. Maybe it’s just me, but there are times where I feel like there are just as many people from Minnesota at Wash. U. as there are from Chicago or New York. Perhaps it’s just because they’re very proud of their home state and being Minnesota-nice. But St. Paul is on this list because it’s only a few more hours away than Chicago is, and Chicago is much more likely to sell out than St. Paul. Plus, it’ll probably be incredibly pleasant weather-wise. Like jumping out of a pot of boiling water into a pool. Spend your eight hour-drive memorizing the “Single Ladies” choreography.

Brooklyn, N.Y. — Aug. 3, Barclays Center

The last show of the tour will take place at the Barclays Center, home to the Brooklyn Nets, which are partly owned by Jay-Z. This all but guarantees an appearance by him on the stage of the tour that bears his last name. The finale of the tour probably will feature more guest appearances than any other show on the tour as well. New York is probably too far of a drive to make but catch a flight over and put “Party” on repeat the whole time.