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The Academy Awards Liveblogged!

and | Movie/TV Editor

5:05: Hey y’all! Georgie Morvis here checking in to liveblog the Oscars! Watch with me on ABC. For those of you on WashU campus, it’s on channel 3-1 (or 16 for non-HD). They start at six, so I’ll be back then, joined by Alieza Schvimer.

6:04: Project Runway hosts are hosting the Red Carpet coverage on ABC. Hmm…

6:04: GM: VIOLA DAVIS LOOKS GORGEOUS WITH HER NATURAL HAIR. As if I needed another reason to cheer for her. She’s fighting traditional beauty standards as well.

6:08: GM: Tim Gunn and Maya Rudolph talking about shapewear. Apparently he wears shapewear too. TMI, Tim Gunn. Too much ick.

6:13: GM: Jessica Chastain. There are no words for how gorgeous she was. Her and Viola are easily Best Dressed.

6:17: GM: I thought they banned Sacha Baron Cohen from attending the Oscars in character. This is really stupid. This is Hollywood’s biggest night, I don’t want to see some promotion for what looks to be his unfunniest movie yet.

6:17: AS: I love Sacha Baron Cohen, so, at least he’s clothed. Flashback to green swimsuit.

6:20: GM: On the E! stream, SBC just dumped an urn of ashes onto Ryan Seacrest. So. That’s cool? Don’t give him the publicity he wants, guys. This night is about GOOD movies.

6:21: GM: Bob Iger and the Prince of Monaco are at the Oscars. I would like to see some of the actors and actresses nominated interviewed, please.

6:22: AS: Gross bow, Emma Stone.

6:23: GM: Emma Stone, you are dating Andrew Garfield. You better say that he is more charming than Gosling.

6:24: AS: Tina Fey looks regal.

6:25: GM: That was the shortest interview ever. Why would you get rid of goddess Tina Fey to talk to basic J. Lo? Ugh.

6:28: AS: Kristin Wiig’s dress looks like what I want my wedding dress to look like! But in white.

6:30: GM: Viola Davis still looks gorgeous, if you were wondering.

6:33: GM: I am probably going to bawl during this “Mominees” (Mom of the nominees) montage. Gary Oldman’s mom is so cute.

6:35: AS: I can’t believe you actually just cried.

6:35: GM: Look! Melissa McCarthy is crying too!

6:38: GM: Never watch E!’s red carpet coverage, unless you’re into ugly, useless Z-listers talking about how people like Jessica Chastain look bad. I’m sorry, do you even have eyes? Dummies!

6:47: GM: Nina thinks that Michelle Williams’ dress is great. Uh. It looks like she’s wearing two dresses.

6:53: GM: Nick Nolte has a pet crow. And a really great voice. He should narrate really gritty nature documentaries.

6:56: GM: Penelope Cruz looks very Liz Taylor. Great hair, great jewelry.

7:01: GM: Another half hour of red carpet coverage? Oh no.

7:05: GM: Queen Goop is wearing a cape. Sorry, Princeton, but like… your girl Gwyn is wearing a cape.

7:08: GM: All of these J’adore, Dior commercials are just reminding me that my personal favorite performance this year, Charlize Theron in Young Adult, wasn’t nominated. You could have had Charlize on your red carpet, Oscars. Way to go.

7:12: GM: Dear Brad, where is Angelina?

7:13: GM: Sandra Bullock has an Oscar. I’m a fan, but like, think about how many actresses don’t have Oscars and the fact that she won for The Blind Side and just… ugh.

7:22: AS: What’s that thing on Tom Hanks’ face?

7:26: GM: The show is about to begin? Or do you mean a four minute commercial break? Smh.

7:30: GM: Here we go! Morgan Freeman on the stage! I wish he was hosting instead of Billy Crystal.

7:33: GM: I said “Oh my god it’s Justin!” before they revealed it was Bieber.

7:33: AS: FLIP YOUR HAIR! FLIP YOUR HAIR!

7:36: GM: I actually really liked the montage. The power of Bieber.

7:39: GM: YES A PAINFUL MUSICAL NUMBER!

7:39: AS: Scratch the painful.

7:42: GM: Billy Crystal. Better than James Franco since 1948.

7:42: GM: And Tom Hanks is here to present an award. Cinematography goes to Hugo. I’m already 0 for 1.

7:44: GM: And Art Direction goes to Hugo. 1 for 2! Hugo has two Oscars already.

7:46: GM: And an adorable Italian man (Dante Ferretti) accepts. Woo!

7:54: AS: A power of the movies montage. Ends with the famous “orgasm” from When Harry Met Sally.

7:54: GM: Cameron Diaz and J. Lo out to present Best Costume. And it goes to Mark Bridges for The Artist.

7:57: GM: Mark Bridges won on his first nomination. Cool facts.

7:57: GM: And now they’re presenting Best Makeup. To Iron Lady!

8:00: GM: Another power of the movies montage, this time with interviews with celebrities. Uh, cool?

8:06: GM: Sandy Bullock out to present Best Foreign Language film. Sandy speaks “Chinese” but it’s really German. Great deadpan gag. And it goes to A Separation.

8:09: GM: Christian Bale out to present Supporting Actress. He looks literally identical to the way he did last year. Octavia wins it! My favorite speech of the night so far, complete with a standing O.

8:21: GM: Christopher Guest and Co. out to do a skit skewering focus groups in Hollywood. YES.

8:23: GM: Tina Fey and some ugly guy (Bradley Cooper) out to present Film Editing. I love Tina Fey. The Oscar goes to… Girl with Dragon Tattoo! YESSSS NOT THE ARTIST.

8:25: GM: And Sound Mixing goes to… Hugo!

8:27: GM: “You go…” “No, Hugo.” Great punning, sound mixers.

8:29: GM: And Hugo wins the Sound Editing prize as well. Could Hugo upset? That’d be crazy.

8:38: GM: Cirque du Soleil part. It’s cool but like… I want to see more awards presented please.

8:41: GM: Queen Goop and Robert Downey Jr. out to present Best Documentary and they do a long documentary gag about it. Gwyneth breaks at the end. And the Oscar goes to… Undefeated. Woo! Football!

8:45: GM: Chris Rock absolutely kills presenting Best Animated Feature. Smart racial commentary, hilarious skewering of how voiceover works. And it goes to… Rango! Chris Rock should host the rest of the show, also.

8:53: GM: Emma Stone and Ben Stiller present Best Visual Effects. Emma Stone plays the overeager presenter and it is actually hilarious and then she reveals that she can sing too and she is gonna be such a big star. The award goes to: Hugo. That’s surprising. I thought it would be Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Guess they really loved Hugo! Could it upset?

9:00: GM: Melissa Leo presents Best Supporting Actor to… Christopher Plummer. His first! And he’s the oldest actor ever to win an Oscar.

9:07: GM: Christopher Plummer’s speech made me so happy. So eloquent.

9:09: GM: Billy Crystal does his what everybody is thinking. His Martin Scorsese and Morgan Freeman are especially successful and hilarious.

9:13: GM: Owen Wilson and Penelope Cruz (who still looks like Liz Taylor) out to present Best Original Score. And it goes to Ludovic Bource for The Artist. Darn. I don’t get why his appropriation of the “Vertigo” score can get nominated but other things can’t. Team Drive.

9:17: GM: Will Ferrell and Zach Galifinakis walk out bashing cymbals, to present Best Original Song. 50% chance of getting this right. And it goes to Bret McKenzie for his song for the Muppets. That’s right, a member of Flight of the Conchords has an Oscar. That is awesome.

9:25: GM: Angelina Jolie comes out to present the Screenplay awards. Her leg though. Her leg. Adapted Screenplay goes to The Descendants. The Dean from Community now has an Oscar.

9:29: GM: Woody Allen gets Best Original Screenplay. He doesn’t go to Awards Shows. Darn.

9:37: GM: Milla Jovovich recaps how she hosted the Sci-Tech Awards. Uh, hooray?

9:39: GM: THE CAST OF BRIDESMAIDS COMES OUT TO PRESENT THE BORING SHORT FILM AWARDS. Way to go, Oscars. Short Film goes to: The Shore. SOMEONE SHOUTS SCORSESE SO ROSE BYRNE AND MELISSA MCCARTHY DOWN AN AIRPLANE SIZED BOTTLE OF GREY GOOSE. Documentary Short goes to: Saving Face. Animated Short goes to: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore. Cool guys, choose the film with the longest title.

9:51: GM: Michael Douglas comes out to present Best Director. Did you know he’s married to Catherine Zeta-Jones? Best Director goes to: Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist. No surprise.

9:56: GM: Queen Meryl Streep comes out to recap The Governors Awards. Really. You got The Queen to do that? Oprah, James Earl Jones, and Dick Smith did that. That’s a pretty awesome group of people, though.

10:05: GM: The In Memoriam segment runs. Esperanza Spalding performs. Still miss you, Whitney. And also Liz Taylor. Wow.

10:14: GM: Natalie Portman comes out to present Best Actor. I sort of miss the 5 people saluting the nominees. And the Oscar goes to… Gary Oldman. Just kididng. In my dreams. It really goes to Jean Dujardin.

10:24: GM: Colin Firth comes out to present Best Actress. HE STUTTERED A LITTLE. Just like in the King’s Speech. It goes to Meryl Streep. What. No. Viola. Darn.

The Artist won Best Picture but I was too upset about Viola Davis to say anything. Tom Cruise presented it. And that’s a wrap on the Oscars.