I don’t have much to complain about in my life. Overall, it has treated me well. But when I was six, I was having a GREAT life. What do six-year-olds have to worry about? Absolutely nothing.

One day, I plopped down in front of the television and turned on the VCR, ready to watch “The Little Mermaid” for the zillionth time. Instead of basking in the glow of an underwater castle, however, I was confronted with a couple sitting in a diner, calling each other “honey-bunny” a lot. Okay, my six-year-old brain could handle this. Suddenly, however, they pulled out guns and began screaming profanities. I’m pretty sure I had never heard some of those words before, but I knew that they were very, very bad. I was scared, but the bright yellow words and fun music that popped on the screen comforted and intrigued me, so I remained mesmerized by the events unfolding before my innocent eyes.

Thankfully, I didn’t understand much of what was going on. “Pulp Fiction” is not exactly easy to follow, so much of it went over my head, but for some reason, I really, really liked it. Maybe it was because I thought Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta’s hairstyles were funny (they are!). Maybe it was because I hid my eyes when anything really violent happened, but I think it was because I really liked John Travolta and Uma Thurman’s dancing (How was I to know that they were high out of their minds? I didn’t even know what drugs were). The little plastic bags of white powder were, obviously, powdered sugar or flour. So why would the lady want them up her nose? Beats me!

At this point, I had been watching the movie for a good 30-45 minutes when my mom finally heard strange, R-rated sounds coming from downstairs. She hurried down the stairs and turned off the television–but not in time. Yup, I saw Uma Thurman receive an adrenaline shot to the heart.

My mom felt terrible, and I was subject to a lot of discussions and lectures after “the incident.” But now I’m here to tell you that I am just fine, my stint in rehab not included. Kidding. That was fine too.

In fact, I think the experience played a significant part in shaping who I am today. For example, I rarely (if ever) curse, and I believe that I owe that to the overload I experienced before I even really knew what those words meant. They lost all the glamour, the appeal, the meaning that so many attach to them, and I lost the need to include profanity in my speech.

I love both “Kill Bill” movies. A lot. I think Quentin Tarantino is great, and “Pulp Fiction” remains one of my favorite movies. I was admittedly too scared to watch it for about nine years after the fact, but once I did, I understood and loved it.

I’m not a hit (wo)man, I don’t do drugs, I don’t hold up diners, I like good movies. All in all, “Pulp Fiction” only had a positive impact on my life. My intense fear of needles is obviously a coincidence.