 "Photo: Mct campus")
 "Photo: Mct campus")
No matter the outcome of the presidential race, Cadenza is on top of the arts & entertainment election news.
McCain defeated, late-night world looks on in sadness
This is a terrible turn of events, nation. Although all the polls seemed to indicate otherwise, in our hearts we true Americans knew McCain would somehow emerge victorious. A McCain victory would have meant four more years of political gaffes, poor judgment, disdain of diplomacy and hypocritical press statements; in short, four more years of real late-night entertainment. But now that the messianic, rainbow-auraed Obama has won the election, the state of our Comedy Central union is not strong, nation.
What will Jon Stewart do? Where will his topical jokes come from? Without the warmongering, the laughably-corrupt politicians and the mind-bogglingly contradictory messages, how will we ever laugh again?
Not to fear, nation! Here comes the (slightly delayed) train of unfulfilled campaign promises! Behind that the caboose of un-meetable expectations trailed not too distantly by the handcar of unrealistic budget plans!
It’s easy to laugh at things that are funny, nation. The real coup is in laughing at the things that make us want to cry. For instance, the Enron fiasco was originally stupefyingly depressing. That is, until Jon Stewart got his hands on it: “The trial of Enron chiefs Jeffrey Skilling and Ken Lay began four-and-a-half years after perpetrating—allegedly—the fraud that led to the second-largest bankruptcy in American history. Why four-and-a-half years? Because apparently it’s harder to bring Ken Lay to trial than it is to invade two countries.” Now not only is the Enron debacle stomach-churning and hilarious, so is the war on terror.
With Obama in office, we’ll simply have to settle for less depressing amusement. Don’t worry, there will still be problems with the economy and the government, they simply won’t be as rife for political satire. Having a god-like figure in office might lead to more jokes about the separation of church and state, but in the end, this McCain loss means a dark four years. I’d suggest packing up and moving to Canada now, but don’t rescind your citizenship too quickly! There’s always hope for a Palin presidency down the line.
Obama loss gets cheers from comedy writers
College freshmen won a great victory last night. Although many may not know it, John McCain’s defeat of Barack Obama is a boon for the “stoned-slacker set,” as Papa Bear O’Reilly refers to us. Wash. U. freshmen will enjoy a full four years of top-notch late-night comedy. Have you been watching Comedy Central lately? Then you should know that this McCain administration will be markedly funnier than an Obama presidency. Both “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” have come to prominence during the compassionatly conservative Bush terms, and have flourished. Colbert’s future would have been especially difficult to imagine during a presidency defined by messages of hope and change. Would the return of the fairness doctrine force him off the air? Might he change his tune and call Keith Olbermann his new mentor? We all know that Colbert is best when he has conservatives in power to adore and loony liberals to hate. A Democratically-controlled Congress and White House would have left comedy fans asking “Where is the blind love?”
While Viacom-controlled Comedy Central will hold steady, General Electric’s NBC will benefit the most (and not just from the corporate tax breaks). “Saturday Night Live” has seen a huge upswing in ratings this election season, and it’s hard to argue that Fred Armisan’s Obama impression has anything to do with it. No, it’s Sarah Palin that rules the roost at “SNL,” and this McCain win may just encourge a depressed Tina Fey to throw her full weight behind an even more biting Palin impression.
