Earlier this year, Obama signed the New START Treaty with Dmitry Medvedev, the president of Russia. Under the treaty, the U.S. and Russia are limited to 1,550 deployed strategic nuclear warheads each, a modest decrease from the previous 2,200.

As the theory of human evolution predicts, Homo Sapiens have responded to the invention of cell phones by developing new mating rituals. Essentially, guys use text messaging to get girls. Or at least they try.

It all started with a haircut. I’m taking a class called Creative Non-Fiction, in which the assignment is to go anywhere in St. Louis and write about it (great class by the way, you should take it). For my first piece this semester, I decided to go to a barbershop on the Loop called Studio 7, on the corner of Delmar and Limit Avenue.

I’m not the man I used to be. Or rather, I’m not the boy I used to be. When I got to Wash. U. back in 2007, most of you were dancing to Ja Rule at bar mitzvahs, or whatever it is kids do these days. I myself arrived on this campus in the harsh middle years of late-onset puberty; I was a knobby exoskeleton with exactly six facial hairs to my name.

I was innocently minding my own business, thinking of the three things guys at Wash. U. generally think about (Beer, Boobs, Internships), when I found out that the Cold War Kids would be coming for spring W.I.L.D. this year. For the past three years, the Kids have been one of my favorite bands, but never did I expect that they would be headlining my school’s semesterly concert.

There’s something rotten in Denmark—er, Jerusalem. In the past year, the holy relationship between Israel and the United States has entered a period of alarming turbulence. The newest wrinkle in this complicated alliance—historically one of the U.S.

I do not watch porn. Okay, so I lie—I watch porn about four times a year. It’s a special occasion—I tend to lay down the satin sheets (I have the only twin-sized satin sheets in the world) and light some romantic candles. Throw some John Mayer on the old iTunes. For me, porn is like that bottle of wine your parents whipped out when dad got a raise (sorry to place porn and parents in the same image).

Every generation has to itself a pantheon of movies that define it—that speak directly to that generation in a language only it can understand. No matter how bad it may be, a generational movie transcends its own quality to grab awkward, acne-covered teenagers by the collar, shake them vigorously, and yell “I SPEAK FOR YOU!”

This week, I went to the Gaylord Music Library (that weird smelly building on the South 40), took out some music and summarily ripped it all to my hard drive. I probably repeat this process twice a week. This is illegal.

In 1991, Minnesota passed the first charter-school legislation in U.S. history, igniting a debate over the true social benefit of alternative education. Within the laissez-faire charter concept, schools are largely ungoverned by the regulations of traditional public schools and free to experiment with new teaching and administrative methods. In return, they must achieve certain test score benchmarks each year to maintain their public funding