However, the following week at Yom Kippur dinner, I spotted Lynn without Tony by her side. When I asked my parents what had happened to Terrific Tony, they replied that Lynn’s parents, my aunt and uncle, had forced her to break up with him because he wasn’t Jewish.

You’d think that in this day and age, people should be able to date those of different races, religions and backgrounds freely. So when I heard the news that Lynn had been forced to break up with Tony, I was truly shocked and appalled.

Fast forward a few years, to this past winter break, in fact. On New Year’s Eve a few of my friends and I went out to Boystown in Chicago, aka Land of the Chicago Gay Men. We hit up my favorite bar and proceeded to mingle with all of the beautiful, well-dressed males. Soon enough, I managed to find my type of guy, so I walked over to him. We started talking and I learned that he was Puerto Rican, and that he worked in Chicago as an attorney. We hit it off and by the end of the night, I had decided that Mr. Puerto Rican Attorney was definitely one of my best finds.

A few days later I made the mistake of mentioning him to my parents. I don’t understand why I continue to tell my parents about my love life, so I’m making a mental note not to do this anymore from here on. (And a few words of wisdom to you all: do not inform your parents of your own hookups or romantic life, unless of course it is very serious. Mine is not.) Upon mentioning this guy to my parents, my mom asked me, “Willie, why can’t you just find a nice Jewish boy?”

In response, I said, “Mom, if you can find a nice, attractive, normal gay Jewish boy for me, please let me know, because I have not yet found one.”

I then mentioned to my dad that he had married my mother, a Roman Catholic, when he was Jewish, so why was my case any different? Besides, I had explained to them that this attorney guy was just a little fling at a bar and nothing very serious.

My parents then retracted their remarks about wanting me to find a Jewish boy and told me that while they would certainly prefer it for my own sake, any guy who made me happy would make them happy. They explained that it’s just more difficult for two people from different upbringings and backgrounds to make love work. Though I agree with this notion, there’s also that little old saying that opposites attract.

If you like someone, go for it. It truly does not matter how different that person may seem to be, for if love is in the cards, you two will make it work. While my parents have reason to believe that romantic relationships often work out better when two people are from similar backgrounds, nobody ever said love was easy. That’s because it’s not.

So while I will still keep my eye out for that cute gay Jewish boy, I’m certainly not going to close myself off to other options out there in my future.

//

These two tidbits of information led me to consider age with regard to romance and relationships. Just what is considered an appropriate age disparity for dating in today’s society? Miley Cyrus, who shockingly just turned 16, is dating a 20-something-year-old model guy, drawing a great deal of criticism and skepticism from the media. Hilary Duff, at the age of 18, dated that guy from Good Charlotte who was 10 years her senior. While it seems that drastic age differences do not deter Hollywood stars from dating, in the lives of us normal, unglamorous people, age does make a difference.

So in real life, would I ever actually date that 42-year-old I kissed? Definitely not. As a friend put it very clearly, this guy was my present age before I was even born. In other words when I was 0 years old, this guy was 21 years old. To me, this isn’t really okay. Would I ever consider dating David Archuleta? Indefinitely. Sure, he’s 17 now, but he’s turning 18 in a week, and four years in age different in this case seems alright.

Of course, we should never, ever date, or do anything for that matter, with someone under the age of 18. While I can certainly dream about meeting Mr. Archuleta at his concert and falling in love, I would certainly never act upon these desires. Until, of course, he turns 18, and then all bets are off.

But what about those older folks? Everyone is different and at different maturity levels throughout different times in their lives. Though I may be turning 22 years old, do I have the maturity level of a college graduate? I’d go with no. Still, I know some very mature people close to my age whom I could see dating a 30-something-year-old. In fact, I know a few. Still, for me, this is a stretch.

What we have to consider is where people are in their lives. We college students live in a kind of sheltered bubble, where we are primarily concerned with our schoolwork and social lives. A 30-something and certainly a 42-year-old are in much different places than we are in, considering their careers and life experience. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t consider myself to have had many life-defining experiences…unless you count running into two of your high school teachers at a gay bar in Chicago—in which case I’m pretty sure my life has certainly changed.

The point is that we should all try to connect with someone romantically whose maturity levels match our own. In my case, I probably should only be dating others guys in college. For some of us who feel ready to date an “older” guy or girl, may the force be with you. Just remember to look for what feels natural and comfortable for you.

And David, if you’re somehow reading this article, call me. I have just a bit of a “crush” on you.

Even when I’m down on my luck in my love life, I refuse to let this phrase enter my mind. After all, it would only lower my self-confidence and make me falsely think that I’m incapable of ever finding true love. I’ve compiled a few tips to help those nice guys and girls out in finding love.

Let’s say you’re a sweet girl who goes out one night to a bar or club with some friends. You are single, and you are definitely ready to mingle and meet a potential romantic partner. When you’re out dancing, casually check out the dance floor for any potentially-attractive guys. If you find one, casually bump into him or “accidentally” brush his arm. Just don’t do anything more than this and definitely don’t call him over or grab him. This will scare the guy, and more often than not, he’ll think you’re a psycho spaz.

If you’re dancing with the girls and you don’t see any cute guys dancing—because honestly, are there any straight guys who really like to dance? —take a break from getting your womanizer on and head over to the bar or lounge area. There are bound to be cute guys at the bar. This is a perfect opportunity for you and your girl friends to approach a group of good-looking guys and mingle, and if they offer to buy you drinks, you know you’re in.

If you, like me, are a nice guy, offer to buy that cute girl a drink. If she politely says no and turns you down, it’s really all right. Be proud that you asked her. Don’t feel bad about yourself; instead, move on and find another girl to talk with. Just don’t be a creeper and make a move on a bunch of random girls. That would be a tad weird.

In the end, you don’t have to be that too-cool-for-school guy or girl, because honestly, who likes those people anyway? You may hit the ground, but at least you’ll have a story to tell. After all, Lindsay Lohan was a mean girl, and look where it got her.

If you know what song I got those words from, you’re probably just as weird as I am—see below for answer.

* It’s from some random Disney artist who never made it big, Brie Larson.

I first met this certain bartender back in May, after school had let out. My friends from Northwestern still had school so we went out one night to get some drinks. My friends told me about their friend who bartends there and said that we both had a lot in common: We both were into guys and we both had at some point worked at an Abercrombie and Fitch store. I’m still not sure why these two facts proved that the bartender and I would have a lot in common, but regardless, we entered the bar.

My friends had built this guy up to sound like some kind of a god, so when I saw the bartender I wasn’t immediately struck by his beauty. Still, we ordered drinks, and my friends chatted with him. He seemed nice, and he sure did know how to make a good girly drink. Maybe it was the fact that we were there for a while or the fact that I kept drinking, but I finally started to see Jeff’s mega appeal to my friends. He was attractive, funny, a great conversationalist and he seemed like a genuinely nice person.

Fast forward to five months later: this past Fall Break, my friends from Northwestern and I went to Jeff’s bar on Friday night. Sure enough, he was working, and sure enough, he made me a great drink. But I didn’t know if I should talk to him or leave him to work. I started thinking: how do you approach someone you like when he/she is working at a job? And is that person being nice and flirtatious with you because he/she is actually into you, or because he/she just wants a good tip? It’s tricky, tricky, tricky.

The next night, the same friends and I went to the area of Chicago called Boystown, and walked into a bar. I almost died, literally, when I walked in and saw bartender Jeff sitting at the bar. True story, since I almost tripped on the step and could have fallen through a glass table. So I had a choice: I could either walk up to him and talk to him, or I could chicken out and not say anything. While I wanted to do the latter, my friends ordered me to talk to him. So I did. And we talked for about 20 minutes and I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but suddenly, some other dude comes up to him and kisses him. I knew I was in trouble at that point, and I motioned for my girlfriends to come help me. They started talking to this mystery kisser and found out that my bartender and this guy just started to “unofficially date.” So my friends and I told him we were going to walk around the bar a little more, and a little while later, Jeff came up to me and told me he was heading out but that next time I came back to Evanston I should come by the bar to say hi.

While I was totally bummed by the fact he is “unofficially dating” someone, I was proud of myself for actually approaching someone I was interested in. While I don’t consider myself a shy person anymore, around guys I freeze up, so talking to this guy was a big step for me.

If you’re like me and you find yourselves in situations where you like someone you meet, even if he/she isn’t a bartender, remember that nothing can ever result in romance without communication. While personally I like to be courted—as in I like people to come up to me and have them do the work—sometimes you have be the one to make things happen and just do it. Like Nike.

Wise words from a wise group of girls. See, the Spice Girls really knew what they were talking about a decade ago when they incorporated this advice into their debut single. While these words may have multiple connotations, what the Girls were really trying to emphasize is the importance of friendship and how friendship must always come first. After all, without good friends by your side, the world can be a cruel, lonely place, even with the solace and comfort of a romantic relationship.

Let’s say you and your best friend both like the same guy or girl; this is a typical situation but certainly not an easy one. Even way back when I was in first grade, I remember my best friend Tony and I had a crush on the same girl, Lyndsey. To Tony and me, Lyndsey was the perfect seven-year-old: She was attractive, she could ride a bike perfectly and she had the best playground in her backyard. Clearly, Tony and I were in love. Still, in the back of our immature, under-developed minds, we knew we couldn’t like the same girl. Tensions quickly mounted. After hearing from another friend that Tony had given Lyndsey a little toy pony from a cereal box, I was furious, and I knew that I had to redeem myself. So, I decided to give Lyndsey a Ring Pop—you know, those old-school, candy lollipop rings that were amazing. She loved it, and I was happy. Tony, on the other hand, was less than thrilled. In the end, Lyndsey chose Nick, another guy our age who we all thought was really cool because he listened to rap music. Consequently, Tony and I had to stop liking Lyndsey and move on to crush on a new girl, and our friendship continued.

This situation, while nowadays slightly more complicated, still arises in college life. If you and your friend like the same person, it is never a good idea to end a friendship over it. Never let an object of affection jeopardize a solid friendship. In this case, you and your friend must communicate, both with each other and with the person you like. If the person you’re both fighting over is not interested in either of you, as was the case with Tony and me, then move on. However, if that special someone does like one of you, you need to consider your friend. Talk with him/her and make sure that it is okay to date that special someone you both like. If your friend is a good friend and your special someone likes you back, then your friend will hopefully understand and move on to find someone else. Likewise, if that guy you like is crushing on your friend, be happy for your friend, and find someone else too.

The same rules apply to hookups. Not only can it jeopardize a friendship, but also two friends hooking up with the same guy is both weird and messy. It really can only lead to negative consequences. There are enough guys and girls on campus and outside of the Wash. U. bubble to find. Go out, have fun, be yourself, and you are bound to find someone interesting for that particular Friday or Saturday night.

Also important is balancing the relationships with both your special someone and your friends. It is always best to have your special someone enjoy the company of your friends and vice versa. And tell your special someone: “if you want to be my lover, then you’re gonna have to get in good with my friends.” Or you can change these words around. Just make sure to emphasize the importance of having a strong bond that unites your friends with your special someone, so that everyone can get along and enjoy each other’s company.

Regardless, one issue presented in the film deals with Lohan’s character pretending to not understand a class she is in so she can be tutored outside of class by the guy of her dreams. While this led to further consequences, I couldn’t help but sympathize with Lohan’s character. Keyword: character; not actually sympathizing with Lindsay Lohan, since that’s pretty hard to do. After all, what are we supposed to do when we want to spend time with that attractive individual in our class outside of class? How do we win that special someone over and find out what he or she is really like outside of an academic setting?

Let’s say you are in a small class, and in this class there’s that good-looking guy or girl you want to talk to, get to know better and, if there’s chemistry, spend time with outside of the classroom. Hopefully, your professor will encourage class discussion and maybe even small group work. If so, do everything in your power to try to work with that person.

You can even just walk up to them one day and say, “I really liked what you said about…” or “What you said about this or that text was so interesting.” It’s as simple as that.

A compliment always proves helpful in the game of love, and this can easily lead to a bond and an excuse to work together. If you don’t actually think what that person says is interesting, either move on or, if you are just that attracted to that person physically, find some other compliment. Just don’t be overly maniacally friendly, and never refer to anything you see on that person’s Facebook, even if you do stalk him or her daily.

If you find yourself in a large lecture environment and notice that cute guy who comes to class every day, you’ll know that he probably cares about schoolwork, which is always good. Though it may be hard at first, sit next to him one day. Flash a charming smile, and you can even ask to borrow a pencil/pen/piece of paper. Just don’t let him look in your backpack to see that you actually have one and are just asking to initiate conversation, because then he may think you’re crazy.

Another tip is to try to talk with that person after class. That is, if you and a friend grab lunch and happen to see that cute girl sitting with her friend, it is more than all right to walk up to her, say hello and make a comment about that day’s class, like how boring it was, or laugh over an absurd comment some other student made in class. Eventually, if love is in the cards, you guys can start eating lunch together. Given time, this can lead to hangouts off campus.

If you want to take eating lunch together to the next step, tell that person that you guys should make a time to hang out that weekend or go out one night. It can be said causally, while simultaneously allowing you to get the message across that you’re into him or her. You can also ask that person to study with you, since group studying is both fun and productive—well, sometimes. More importantly, this is a nonchalant question, and a study date could with time progress to romance. All you have to do is communicate.

So the next time you want to pull a Lindsay Lohan and are tempted to pretend to be stupid just to have that special someone tutor you, don’t. After all, playing dumb probably won’t work—we are pretty bright kids. Just remember to be yourself, talk to the person you’re interested in and if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Ibby’s Bistro, the newest addition to the Bon Appétit family here at Wash. U., features a full-service dining option conveniently located in the Danforth University Center (DUC).

Perfect for a night out with friends looking to spice up their meals and escape the crowded, long lines of the main food center of the DUC, the bistro is especially perfect for a couple seeking a romantic date. We set out to truly get the “dibs” on “Ibbs.”

Upon walking into Ibby’s, the Asian Feng Shui feel of the restaurant both surprised and delighted us. Classy and elegant, yet simultaneously modern, Ibby’s décor provided overall sensual, inviting tones. Red, modern lighting helped create the sensual yet cozy intimate sentiments and elegance of the bistro; exactly what you would expect form a date restaurant. The extremely friendly and courteous host of Ibby’s greeted Meredith and me, as he led us to a booth nestled between two other booths filled with people. While the booths are indeed closely spaced, this allowed for mingling with other diners at the booths next to us. However, if you are looking for a more secluded dining experience, the tables will provide just this.

Upon sitting down, even before we were greeted by our server, a lovely couple next to us spoke their praise for the restaurant to us. Also first timers to the restaurant, they were very impressed with their dining experience and agreed that it is a perfect place for romantic dates, but that it also welcomes groups of friends.

Essentially the only drawback to eating at Ibby’s is the actual food price, as the food is definitely on the pricier side. While an entrée and dessert usually go for 18 dollars, a meal complete with a glass of wine, an entrée, dessert and a starter can run up to 35 dollars. The nice part about this is the ability to pay with one’s own meal points, and yes, checks can be split. Be careful with this option while on a date, though. Going “dutch” is an issue unto itself. But what the card option means, in other words, is that you can now get your parents to—unknowingly—pay for your date. This is perfect if you are a little short on cash, but just scored the date with that hot girl—or guy—from chemistry class.

The standard eating time at Ibby’s is an hour, so if you are in a small group or on a date, give yourself about an hour minimum to enjoy your dining experience. You may want to plan out even more time than that, considering an on-campus date removes any chance of talking before or after your meal.

Ultimately, Ibby’s will definitely satisfy any student looking for a quiet, intimate dining option or a friendly, entertaining night out with friends. To say the least, it is a huge step up from Bear’s Den. While it was really never okay back in my days as a freshman to go on dates at Bear’s Den, with the addition of Ibby’s there is definitely now no excuse to continue going on dates to Bear’s Den. In fact, one of the great things about Ibby’s is that students now have easy access to a nice restaurant without a car. This means that you now have no excuse for not going to a nice dinner on a date.

So grab your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend and head to Ibby’s soon to discover for yourself the dibs on Ibby’s; you will be glad you did!