MCT Campus

Although avoiding talking about HPV (human papillomavirus), HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) or herpes may seem easier than confronting their infectious realities, GYT and the organizations surrounding STD Awareness Month remind us that they cannot be ignored. According to a GYT campaign poster, one in two sexually active young people will get a sexually transmitted infection by age 25.

St. Louis, as reported by SHS, has been ranked in the top five U.S. cities for STIs since 2000. Furthermore, SHS reports that St. Louis was number one per capita in chlamydia and gonorrhea in 2006 and 2007. According to the CDC, in 2008, 18,314 cases of chlamydia (out of 100,000) in the state of Missouri were diagnosed in 8- to 24-year-olds. Although rates of youth STI contraction vary by county from 1 percent to 6 percent between chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, most Missouri counties count 3 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds as infected with chlamydia.

Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are the most treatable STIs, as all three respond to prompt antibiotic treatment; however, they are also some of the most common and require both partners to be treated simultaneously, which can be difficult in more casual sexual situations. Other common STIs include HPV, trichomoniasis (trich), hepatitis B, genital herpes and HIV. HPV, with 6.2 million new cases each year, ranks next to trich (5 million new cases per year) as one of the most rapidly spreading STIs in the last decade.

Trich is a parasitic infection that usually causes a green discharge or discomfort in females and sometimes a penile discharge in males. Although only spread through vaginal intercourse, as opposed to oral or anal sex, trich is one of the few STIs that can remain in your system.

But, although most people develop symptoms of trich within the first weeks after exposure, not all people necessarily develop symptoms. In fact, with most STIs—especially HPV—no visible symptoms occur at all. Genital herpes is another particularly good example. While 45 million Americans are currently diagnosed with genital herpes (herpes 2), studies have shown that 80 to 90 percent of those with genital herpes have not been diagnosed at all!

Because the majority of those infected show no symptoms, this viral illness is one of the many reasons getting tested is the only way to truly know if you have an STI—one that can be spread not only around your own body, especially if you are female, but to your partner(s) as well.

According to Dr. Kevin Fenton, director of the National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STI and TB Prevention, in the CDC’s final press release statement for STI awareness month, the estimated cost of STIs to the U.S. health care system is nearly $16 billion annually. And diseases and infections from sexual contact are 100 percent preventable!

Melissa Ruwitch, assistant director of SHS and chief of Health Promotion Services, said, “At SHS we believe that if students are mature enough to be in sexual relationships, they would be smart enough to take care of their partners.” She continued, “An important aspect [beyond physical protection] is emotional protection; it’s important to be prepared for emotional risks and to remember that third aspect of sexual decision making.” Being emotionally prepared requires a sexually active young adult to know the facts about sex and also how these facts can impact his or her life.

For information about coping with sexual assault or emotions surrounding sexual decision making, please visit: coping.wustl.edu.

For more information about STIs, STI testing and services on campus, please visit: shs.wustl.edu/sex.htm.

It’s an accepted assumption that the majority of porn consumers are male. Everything—from Web site advertisements on popular sites like Facebook and Megavideo, to magazine covers in the back rooms of local bodegas—seems to target a male audience. Even lesbian porn, one anonymous senior girl noted, “is so much more often geared toward male viewers than women viewers. [It] is often hard to enjoy because it’s not showing me what I know my body would want in that situation.”

What “average” heterosexual woman seeks out pornography that features overly buxom, unrealistic women, often being dominated by several men? (Think Bang Bus or Brazzers.com). Nevertheless, although women do consume porn less frequently than men (14 percent of men vs. 4 percent of women in 2002 study), one junior girl emphasized that “women should feel socially comfortable watching whatever type of porn they find enjoyable.” A freshman female agreed, saying, “We do what we want!” Though she cautioned, “It just seems like every time I look at any of it, it seems so fake, making it more of a turn-off than turn-on. The kind of porn I would be into would be the kind that seemed more real and not as planned or organized, or the kind I could sense some actual emotion. I would want to be reminded of times I’ve myself had sex, not some obscure fake fantasy.” As the senior girl mentioned above reiterated, “Anything that works for women is great. Though, I think most of the porn out there is deceiving. It reduces sex to extremes.”

These comments, although only representative of a few opinions within our Wash. U. bubble, remain in tune with studies of female fantasies. Instead of intense sexual content that focuses on genitals and the “action,” females look for a sense of intimacy, whether through simple kissing or more realistic scenarios, to feel turned on. As one sophomore offered, women aren’t looking to watch porn that “cheapens situations.” Although women might not want some long, drawn out romantic scene, some storyline may be preferred. As one senior girl said, “I don’t just want to watch ‘Freak of Cock,’ which I have, because there’s no plot! I’d like just a little bit more.”

Oh and one last thing—get some sexier male actors, porn industry! At least for me and the other women I’ve spoken with for this article, arousal is multi-sensual. So what will do the trick? Good-looking actors, interesting and believable play and a little bit of something that brings your vibrator back to reality. But not completely…

Located in a high-crime metropolitan area and permeated with extraordinary academic minds, Washington University’s bubble-like environment seems almost unreal. But there is definitely comfort in that, says an anonymous junior female in the Olin School of Business: “It just never crossed my mind. It never occurred to me that someone at this school would attempt to [rape someone].”

As positive as it is that very few students feel sexually threatened on or off campus, perhaps this bubble-like mentality can also lead to an increase in sexually compromising situations, maybe even without the victim’s awareness. As one anonymous senior female professed, “I think it happens way too often for it to be ignored. People just don’t see it. They are like hey—look: I just got handed a drink!” And that is where the process of date or acquaintance rape often starts. Awareness and education, as with any social issue, is the key to prevention.

So how does date rape typically occur in a party or social situation? According to professor and clinical psychologist Felicia Romeo of Florida Atlantic University, a date rape perpetrator will first attempt to isolate the victim from his or her peers or social surroundings, with or without administering drugs or alcohol. The drugs normally used in date rape situations are Rohypnol (“roofies”), Gamma Hydrobutrate (“g-juice” or “GHB”) and Ketamine (“Special K”). All of these drugs work especially well for sexual assault perpetrators in that they can all be easily ground into colorless powders that dissolve seamlessly into alcoholic beverages. Even beyond date rape and loss of consciousness, these drugs, when combined with alcohol, can all result in death. Although GHB takes about 30 minutes to affect one’s system, Ketamine and Rohypnol act almost instantly. Both Ketamine and GHB are legal (although they are tightly distributed through prescription only) in the United States.

But are these drugs “real” in our Wash. U. bubble? Although those involved in positive social groups such as S.A.R.A.H.  (Sexual Assault and Rape Anonymous Helpline), Uncle Joe’s or R.A. programs verify their existence and even significance in party situations, many fraternity members contend that it “just doesn’t happen.” One member of an off-campus fraternity even questioned if any Wash. U. students were able to gain access to such drugs or if they would go out of their way to try to access these illicit substances. When asked if any fraternity members have ever expressed “crossing the line” with a girl or using substance to initiate sexual encounters, an anonymous senior from an on-campus fraternity merely remarked: “Wash. U. students don’t have enough sex to begin with to start venturing into the date rape scene.” Another anonymous senior quaffed, “My brothers? Never. Their brothers? Never. To be in the company of a woman, whether or not either of us is lubricated by alcohol, is something that most Wash. U. [males] cherish—given that this is a rare occurrence.”

Is it true, however, that a relatively tame and inexperienced sexual community prevents date rape? Perhaps not. With our bountiful reservoir of services like S.A.R.A.H., Student Health Services and even WUPD that support date rape victims and promote prevention, the existence of date rape and acquaintance rape at Wash. U. must be a reality. Nonconsensual and “gray-area” sexual situations do occur, but perhaps they are underreported due to their supposed rare incidence or the victim’s lack of knowledge. More specifically, those without much sexual experience may find themselves in compromising sexual situations and not be aware of how to handle them. As a consequence of such compromising situations, victims feel guilt and shame but are often unable to articulate what happened. Was it rape, or was it just a misunderstanding? These experiences go unreported, and the occurrence of date rape remains elusive, right here in our Wash. U. bubble.

As Doug’s sister Judy from Nickelodeon’s 1990s cartoon “Doug” so aptly put it, “In order to eat liver and onions, you must become liver and onions!” Although this line exists merely in reference to Doug’s unabated hatred for the food combination, it references the corporal, almost-earthy quality of the dish. While the smooth exterior of the liver meat reminds us of our organs (and genitals), the rustic, pungent odor of the onions, reminds us of the erotic scent of the body. Combine these symbolic qualities with the texture and heated semblance of these foods across your naked partner’s body, and you’ll be ready for a night that’s bound to get physical.

2. Lard

This pig-derived fat concentrate, similar to butter, can be compared erotically to whipped cream or even the crude oil once used in ancient Roman homosocial activities. Mostly consumed in contemporary British cuisine, lard can also be considered akin to the sexiness of a British accent to Americans: foreign, dashing and somehow more culturally cultivated. Even more, the solid form of lard is much like any pocket of skin you might massage during foreplay. So spread it on, spread it around, use it like lube or knead it between your fingers to stimulate your fleshy creativity.

3. Ranch dressing

Stocked with a comparable amount of calories to that of semen, the flavor and consistency of ranch dressing strewn across a salad of phallic vegetation such as baby carrots and celery sticks is sure to do the trick. Nearly crude in its bottled form, once exacted upon a salad, sandwich or naked body of curvature, ranch dressing comes alive for one to lick lustfully, perhaps in lieu of medically risky bodily fluid consumption.

4. Soy dog

The soy dog is the ecoli-free version of the hot dog; not only can it be warmed up in the microwave in a similar fashion to the Pyrex dildo, but it also avoids both the vegetarian’s dilemma as well as any serious bacterial concerns. The soy dog can be used as a teaser (think running its shaft along one’s lips in a seductive manner) or a makeshift sex toy. Remember, though: Don’t let the soy dog become a replacement for your man!

MCT Campus

Theez iz chikn wings: hot & tasteeee

5. Chicken wings

Although chicken wings don’t have the same vegan-friendly properties as the soy dog, these superbly acidic and scrumptiously sticky complements to ranch dressing will bring the power and scent of true football-fan masculinity to any bedroom situation. Smear their spicy drizzling sauce on lips for extra-oomph to serious necking or on the inner thigh to make for a tantalizing trail to your lady’s sweet spot.

In Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning’s 2010 publication, Moregasm, the founders of the progressive New York City- and Seattle-based sex shop, Babeland, start their “Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex” by examining all the erotic zones of both the male and female bodies. Although I found myself familiar with everything from nipples and areolas to the pubic mound and even the perineum (that’s the space between the anus and the genitals), Cavannah and Venning’s section called “Your Butt” stood out. Okay, yes, to clarify, I do know what a butt is, but what I didn’t know was that “blood flow, nerves, and the PC muscle all connect the V-hole to the A-hole.” Moreover, I was unaware of the butt’s almost mystical power to release tension and stress. As Babeland’s creators say, “The term ‘tight ass’ was coined for a reason.”

The butt is not just for sitting and pooping. Even if you avoid penetration of the anus or rectum, tension-releasing massages of the cheeks, and spanking, can “resonate nicely through all the genitals.” But the topics of anal penetration and anal play—that is, incorporating the actual orifice—cannot be metaphorical stones left unturned.

In Moregasm, the authors hold that anal penetration, when done correctly, exercises the involuntary sphincters in the rectum. This exercise, whether between heterosexual or same-sex partners, can actually improve your intestinal function, making for fewer glasses of Cetaphil later in life. However, the anal-rectal area is one that is not only made up of involuntary muscles, but also contains no self-lubricating mechanism. To properly penetrate the anus with fingers, toys or a penis, the area needs to be prepped (think deep-tissue massage gently probing towards the rectum—which, if you are a woman, may dually stimulate the vagina through the thin wall between them). It must also be properly slicked up—and we’re not talking spit here; lube is necessary!

In reassessing the subject of the pleasure that comes from anal penetration, a gendered approach may provide more useful insight. While talking to several women about the subject, experiences varied from discomfort and pain to (here’s that phrase again!) “mind-blowing” sexual fulfillment. Though the discomfort and pain likely come from improper preparation, the sexual fulfillment can come from stimulation of the clitoris simultaneously with anal penetration, or stimulation of the female prostate. As one sophomore confided, “The best anal is not necessarily anal sex, but the use of butt toys and simultaneous vaginal penetration. However, butt play also becomes a problem of entertainment in that I don’t want my germs in my vagina, mouth, eyes, etcetera, which can interrupt or end an otherwise nice evening.”

On the male side, the dichotomy of discomfort and pleasure was similarly expressed. But discomfort mainly stemmed from an aversion to anal play in general—as one junior noted, “Put her fingers in his butt? That’s an easy way to get dumped.” As for pleasure, when asked whether an orgasm from anal penetration (receiving) felt better than a masturbatory orgasm, one senior offered, “It really depends, but there’s no doubt that prostate stimulation enhances an orgasm. It’s a sensitive area though—it’s a potential pleasure point, with or without the prostate involved.” As with the vagina, anal play and penetration can stimulate the penis or the prostate, making for a more intense—if suitable—orgasmic experience.

The topics surrounding the butt and its erotic functions are endless. What about douching or anal bleaching? What kind of toys one might use to stimulate the area? The sheer mass of these subtopics attests to the almost-mystical power of the butt I spoke of earlier. It is not just a bodily exit. It is Sir Mix-A-Lot’s career. Hey—it’s Sisqo’s career too (who can wear a thong without a butt?) And it’s another erotic zone bringing pleasure around the globe.

Bonobos: A bonobo is a type of chimpanzee with a penchant for smiling. Bonobos are an endangered species currently living in the wild in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. As bonobos are the closest relative to humans still in existence, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that these primates are the only non-humans that engage in tongue kissing and oral sex. But bonobos also engage in pretty much every type of partner combination possible when it comes to sexual intercourse: male-to-male, female-to-female, father-to-daughter and so on. Bonobos have sex very frequently between all members of their society.

Barnacles: Barnacles are those round-shaped, shell-like creatures one often observes affixed to rocky surfaces in and around the ocean. Related to both crabs and spiders, these crustaceans are typically hermaphroditic, containing both male and female parts within each individual barnacle. But not only do they have both sets of sex organs— which can release up to 10,000 larvae for fertilization by other barnacles—but they also have penises that can be up to eight times their body length. Having the longest penises for any creature of their small size, barnacles use these essential “sperm tubes” to reach as many other barnacles and their larvae as possible.

Pandas: These endangered black and white patterned bears are known worldwide for their poor genetics and reproductive difficulties. With a population of barely 1,500 in the wild and in captivity combined, pandas, in an almost human-like way, will mate only with co-eds that have personalities which mesh with their own. Even so, they would rather spend their day noshing on bamboo and lazing around than reproducing—a characteristic that only contributes to their endangered and shrinking population. To combat this, researchers have designed panda “sexercises,” which ABC News describes as “specialized exercises to strengthen the males’ hind legs and increase their stamina” and “panda porn” for the males to watch while in captivity to stimulate arousal. Interestingly, the combination of these methods has increased the percentage of pandas able to have sex on their own from 25 percent to 60 percent.

Orcas: Orcas, or killer whales (think “Free Willy”), mostly reproduce in a typical fashion, with males seeking multiple partners and females seeking one primary mate. But male orcas are known to have extremely large penises—relative to their size (and to the penises of the planet). The record length of an orca penis—and thus any penis—was measured at 8 feet!

Spiders: In some species of spiders, including the Australian redback, females dominate social and reproductive interactions, as they can be up to 50 times larger in size than their male counterparts. In the redback species, many males get eaten during mating, which the male sometimes actively assists by placing his abdomen over the female’s mouth to fertilize more eggs. Once the male’s sperm is obtained by the female spider, with or without sexual cannibalism, the female can store said sperm and use it for a period of up to two years to lay eggs.

In my time as a female member of this planet, I have heard two separate definitions for “chode.” The first is a synonym for a “prick” or any other word with a negative connotation and of similar meaning. The second definition, which I always believed to be the more accurate one, refers to a penis that is wider than it is long. That would be, for example, a penis that is 6 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. Perhaps the shape of a particularly stout cucumber may incite your imagination, or even, in a more extreme example, so may half of one of those crème-filled Hostess logs. Urban Dictionary, along with the general Washington University population, agrees with this description of a chode.

So, now that we know what a chode really is, are they real? Can someone really have a penis of such a corpulent figure? And if so, does this make for any sexual advantages? One would think that these are pretty straightforward questions, but investigation says otherwise. Of 10 sexually active Wash. U. senior females questioned about the existence of chodes, all 10 remarked that they had never seen them. While one said, “Is that even possible?” another inquired if such organs were functional during sexual intercourse. On the other hand, of the six Wash. U. males questioned, all remarked that they were certain of the existence of chodes. Two in particular noted their time spent in locker rooms before and after football practice as evidence for chodes. One Wash. U. graduate offered a story of an extreme chode sighting: “I met a guy in the locker room of a friend’s club whose nut sack was the size of an orange, and his penis was mostly inside him.” He continued, “It was like a flap of foreskin!”

Between males and females, it seems the mystery of the chode has not been completely unearthed. But I did finally meet one female this past week who had had a sexual encounter with what she described as a chode. The anonymous junior described the specimen at hand as “possibly 5 inches long and as wide as [she had] ever seen a penis.” Although this does not confirm its true existence as a chode, she said it was difficult to maneuver sexually, as it was wider than the entrance to her vagina. Sex was possible in the end, she said, “after enough foreplay.”

Although few conclusions have been formed in the Wash. U. community about chodes, it is clear that they exist in some capacity, whether females recognize the presence of a chode or not during a sexual encounter. It is also clear that extreme chodes may need extra help entering the ever-flexing vaginal entrance if they are wider than the vaginal opening at penetration. While we may end up throwing around the word “chode” with the Loch Ness Monster or Yeti, the brief sightings of this mysterious member could actually prove it to be real and not a fable.

Beyond novelty, however, is the age-old question—what makes a “good” or “nice” vagina compared to an undesirable one when there is so much variation? Is it similar to what makes a “good” penis, and how so? I’ll start by defining a “good” penis. In my eyes, this penis is one that projects no distinct odors, is not too small but not so big as to stretch the vagina/mouth or puncture the cervix, and has the ability to maintain a stiff erection. Straightness, or lack thereof, is an issue I feel cannot be generalized, because most “curvy” penises, such as our previously mentioned classically arched banana, still maintain some level of straightness when erect and only carry a subtle bend (unless one is suffering from extreme circumstances such as Peyronies disease). But I can imagine that an overly curved penis would be difficult to insert into any orifice; therefore, some level of straightness can be added to our “good” penis criteria. Beyond that, to each his own with penile idiosyncrasies. One with an overly enlarged head might be fun; even that subtle curve could be an interesting experience.

But are vaginas considered in the same way? Let’s consider some opinions of experienced heterosexual males at Washington University with a mean age of 21. As a whole, nine of 10 males in my unscientific sample reported the same three properties of a “good” vagina: tight lips and vaginal canal, responsive and pervasive wetness, and a scent that reflects cleanliness. Specifically, one referred to the importance of tight lips as “no beef curtains,” while another elaborated “one that contours itself around the penis.” Referring to wetness, one Wash. U. graduate offered, “The wetter, the better,” while others simply reported that a “moist” climate was preferable. On the subject of scent, one Wash. U. senior suggested, “I think that a good vagina smells like it’s being taken care of. While saying ‘odorless’ would be putting it way too strongly, I think it ought not smell neglected.”

Outside of these popular criteria, other vaginal attributes were pinpointed. One Wash. U. junior noted that “Kegel usage” was a preferable characteristic—referring to the rhythmic contracting and relaxing of Kegel (pubococcygeus) muscles that are present in both men and women. Control of these muscles is known to help with urinary incontinence, as well as to contribute to stronger orgasms. Another senior mentioned, in contradiction to the importance of labial tightness reported above, that vaginas with a slight looseness on the outside could be pleasurable as well. He explained that a loosened outer lip “can create a nice drag effect on the surrounding sensitive skin,” adding an element of extra stimulation to the head of the penis during intercourse.

Loose lips or tight lips aside, “good” vagina criteria seem to match up with that of the penis in the area of smell. But as a mostly internal organ, the vagina’s characteristics seem to contain more subtleties. All this, and we haven’t even begun to speak about the clitoris! Or the consistency of wetness! What about the way people work their Kegel muscles? Perhaps I have not fully addressed the penis, either. Anyway, there is no “right” or “wrong” penis or vagina. But like any part of one’s body, each has its own characteristics that one can be proud of and become comfortable with sexually. Have a big clit? A “curvy” penis? Own it!

(Photos from MCT)

1. The Blanket Thief: We’re all familiar with this one. You wake up in the middle of the night freezing (!), only to find that your significant other has snatched up not one, but both of your blankets (the fleece and the quilt, really?), and has wrapped them furiously around his or her limbs. Taking them back not only will take all of your post-coital arm strength, but also has the potential to wake the bandit!

2. The Pillow Talker: After finally settling down on your respective sides of the bed, all is still, quiet—even peaceful. That is, until the Pillow Talker injects his or her “Are you still awake?” Then the restless small talk commences. While this offender can be more endearing than psychologically vexing, in the end, his or her nocturnal chatter will only chip away at your needed eight hours.

3. The Mouth Breather: Ooh, hot breath on the nape of your neck! Something slightly sexy turns into prickly droplet huffing so easily. Once your partner’s in REM cycle, there’s no stopping his or her desert wind impersonation.

4. The Sheet Ruffler: Maybe not everyone uses a top sheet, but for those who like that between-the-blanket coverlet, its papery noises are no stranger. But there are partners who take these noises to the extreme, shifting and tossing about with two sets of toes clanging amid your Egyptian cotton. Getting comfortable just got annoying.

5. The Pooling Drooler: Just bought a brand-new memory foam pillow? Keep that thing away from the elusive Pooling Drooler. This bed-buddy may seem cuddly at first, but after a deep night’s sleep, his or her mouth residue will inch forth from its original home. In the most dramatic of Pooling Drooler situations, his or her self-made puddle will not only mar your novel pillow, but will also spread onto you—causing hair matting and general discomfort.

6. The Nail Knifer: Think you don’t need to trim your toenails because it’s winter? Well, grow at your own risk. Sharp toenails + partners in a dorm bed = a serious sleeping safety hazard. Nail knifing perpetrators accidentally slice their partner’s limbs while snoozing—with bloodshed not out of the question.

7. The All-Consumer: Perhaps this bedtime troublemaker should be called the pancake, for when you are deep in slumber and least expecting it, he or she will ooze across the bed like batter, taking up every last inch of your claimed bed space. Again, this can only be remedied by an optimistic push or stir of the perpetrator in his or her pancake-ocity. Groaning or protest from the pancake may ensue.

8. The Pillow Launcher: Distinct from the Pillow Talker, the Pillow Launcher is known for wildly or mildly swiping pillows from their rightful place on bed and letting them fall to the floor as he or she dreams idly. Sometimes Pillow Launchers will cause said objects to become lodged behind bed frames or mattresses. For the sensitive head, this cannot end well.

9. The Clock Snoozer: OK, we all do this. Alone. But when you’ve got two people with two different schedules and two different clocks, you’ve got potential for the offenses of the Clock Snoozer. Not only will this partner snooze his or her own alarm, rapt in the throes of sweet morning cuddles, but he will snooze yours, TOO! The cold air compared to the warm bodies is just too much for the Clock Snoozer. And now you’ve missed your mandatory discussion section.

10. The Crumb Carrier: This offender’s transgression, unfortunately, affects your sheets after they’ve left the scene, after you’ve finished tossing about in the remnants of crackers. He or she thinks a midnight snack is in order—and that’s just fine. But his or her snack remains on their shirt! And now it’s in your bed! All the scratching and reorganizing comes not from phantom bed bugs, but from the sloppy accident he or she dragged in from the kitchen. Use of a dust buster may be in order.

So…

1. Always keep the entirety of the shaft of the penis and the head covered with something, mouth or hand. As I find that not everyone is capable of deepthroating manuevers, especially when it comes to a man who is well endowed, I often find it helpful to think of blowjobs as handjob-blowjob combos; keep your left hand on the shaft in rhythm with your mouth over the head and whatever shaft you are able to keep in your mouth.

2. Mix it up, but not too much: Try and balance trying to create a unique experience for your partner (swirling of your tongue over the head, movement of your tongue down the shaft in succession, for example) with consistent rhythm that can maintain and build an orgasm.

3. This is pretty basic, but, start slow, move to intermediate pace, and finally move your tongue and mouth quickly in sync with your partner’s breathing patterns, sounds, and body language. Keeping your focus in tune not only with your technique but how your partner is responding is crucial!

4. Don’t neglect the balls! I don’t mean any “teabagging” or anything necessarily but maybe some gentle cupping. It depends on the guy, of course, and how much he trusts you. Handle when confident and handle with care.

5. CAVEATS: Keep nails short to avoid any scratching that could be caused by your multitasking activity! On that note, it’s important to remind that the penis is a gentle organ that needs TLC, not violent manipulation. A blowjob does not mean literally sucking on a penis–you don’t want to turn it into a hickey stick! Rhythmic caressing by tongue, mouth, and hand is the best way to ensure a pleasant experience.