My rationale for writing a thesis was pretty straightforward: Why not? Of course, all my friends advised me against writing one—both those who had and hadn’t written theses. The universal consensus was that they involved too much work. To hell with reasonable advice, I thought. They don’t know what they’re talking about. I can do it. And other underclassmen thought just as I did. Judging by an extremely informal poll of my friends in the Class of 2009, many people are writing theses. There are roughly 10 students writing theses in the history department alone.

So where do I now find myself? Procrastinating and not writing my thesis by working on this column. Thus, I relay to you the first excellent characteristic of a thesis: When one procrastinates on it, so much other work has piled up that one is forced to procrastinate by doing other work. Genius, really. Theses also keep your enemies at bay. If you want to avoid someone, work on your thesis. They want to do something with you? Can’t! Thesis. It’s never-ending work, so it’s a never-ending excuse.

Problem: If you actually have friends/love interests, the thesis is a burden. The same excuse you used on that ugly guy in your anthropology class also must be used on David Shapiro. Theses are equal-opportunity offenders. I’ve sort of found a way around the problem. I try to stay in the library all day so that each night, I can get dinner with friends, unwind and get a good night’s rest. Problem: Spending all day in the library results in shoulders so hunched over that I’ve been getting employment letters from Notre Dame de Paris.

My biggest hassle in writing a thesis, besides the research, stress, writing and editing, is keeping a place to store all of my materials. I have more than 30 books, countless articles and more primary sources that I store in a library locker. I have to renew the locker every single day, or I am fined. That wouldn’t be so bad except I have to switch my locker every day. I have yet to figure out the impetus behind that policy.

Attention all juniors: Are you considering writing a thesis? You want to know whether you should write one or not? Let me assure you that you don’t have the preparation to write one. On the bright side, nothing could possibly prepare you for the process that is thesis-writing. I have just less than a month to go. What light at the end of the tunnel?

I would tell you to write one just for the thrill of working all day and having nothing to show for it for months (even after you write a chapter, you have to revise countless times, to the point at which it becomes a completely different beast altogether). I would tell you to write one to feel like you’ve accomplished something great. Thing is, I don’t think I’ll know what I have until it’s all over. That’s the beauty of it. I love this job.

Indeed, there are many benefits to public transportation in St. Louis (known as the Metro). For one thing, it’s free for us to use. If you have the urge to go somewhere, you can go to the Metro Web site and use the trip-finder feature. You can get as specific as typing in, say, “St. Louis Bread Company on Delmar.” Now, I don’t know why you’d want to take the bus somewhere that is a five-minute walk, but hey, we’ve all got our lazy days. And what if it is snowing really badly and you just need that Sierra Turkey without onions (they always keep the onions on mine!)?

I also hear the best stories on the bus. There was the woman from New Orleans who talked about the best way to cook alligator. “If you’ve ever had frog legs, it tastes something like a cross between that and pork.” There was the guy who bought cologne in bulk. “I just go to the thrift store and buy $100 bottles for $10. I buy 20 bottles at a time. The guy thinks I resell them, but really I just douse myself in it.”

You learn the best things about St. Louis from bus drivers. Well, sometimes it’s the worst stuff. But you can always get great recommendations on activities, restaurants and places to relax. The older the driver, the more they know. The best ones to talk to are the old guys and the younger women. That’s just the way it is.

Now, there’s etiquette in talking to bus drivers. If you’re getting on an empty bus, you need to sit next to the driver. Not behind the driver—you have to be right next to the doors. That way, you can see and speak to the driver. How awkward is it when you get on an empty bus and move to the middle? This guy is driving a bus with just you, and you’re not even going to give him the time of day?

In starting conversation, the weather is a safe go-to. “When’s the last time you’ve felt heat like this?” It’s always good to reference the past. That gets them talking about history, and that’s when you learn the juiciest St. Louis information. You don’t want to say, “Man, do I have a lot of work!” This puts the focus on you. You will end up talking the whole ride about what you do. You need to inject yourself into the conversation about three minutes in. This way, the driver learns your politics and what he or she can or cannot say.

You’ll be surprised to learn how much you have in common with bus drivers. They might be from your hometown. They might be taking a University College course. One driver had been a substitute teacher at the school at the Juvenile Detention Center, where I spend much of my time.

I hope this guide has been helpful to you. Don’t be shy about taking the bus, and remember: Target isn’t the only place it goes! There are many buses and countless destinations!

My response: “Is he African or something?” Yeah. I’m not exactly the classiest person. My father, however, was determined to convey Obama’s story, with his own touch of humor only a son could love. “You know, I’d bet that ‘Obama’ is the number-one word in e-mails this morning. His father was a Kenyan goatherd (no joke) and his mother a white woman from Kansas. They met at University of Hawaii (he a foreign student) and got married there. Then dad went back to Kenya and died (or some story like that). The first name is Hebrew, a version of Baruch (but, no, the mom is not Jewish.) So, yeah, he’s black. But he’s as much white as he is black.”

I took my father’s advice. I went on YouTube and found the speech. And I was hooked. I hadn’t seen the West Wing yet, so it was the first time that I had ever seen a politician—real or fictional—speak so eloquently yet remain so clandestinely liberal. That’s actually one of my favorite things about Obama—he is able to dupe people into thinking he’s a “moderate.” I’m cool with that because Obama and myself know it’s for their own good. Sometimes, people need to be duped. They want to live in a fantasy world where “balance of power” means a Republican senator and Democratic senator. Some people think compromise can actually happen in Washington. The way I see it, Obama is either serious and really does want genuine compromise, which is great for everyone, or he is more liberal than Clinton, which is also great for everyone.

I fell back in love with Obama in Springfield, Ill. It was a cold February morning but he warmed the crowd. He is the cure for seasonal affective disorder. Do you understand? The reason Obama went from my computer screen at Yale to the freezing February in Lincoln Land to Washington, D.C. in winter is that he controls time. He made every day election day. He made everyone feel like they were voters—from babies to the dead people recruited by faithful ACORN volunteers.

You read this on a Wednesday. Yesterday, Obama became president of the United States of America. I don’t think my dad realized when he said that I would be voting for him someday that “someday” would be the first presidential election in which I could vote. I’ve come a long way with Obama from that fateful conversation in 2004 to my yearbook page mention of Barack in 2005 to Illinois in 2007 and to D.C. in 2009. I’m obsessed, and I don’t care. Better to be hooked on Barack then on drugs. I think. But my main point here, if there is one, is that it’s okay to make fun of Obama. It’s okay to be obsessed with him. It doesn’t really matter because of how amazing Barack is. His car is called “the Beast.” His personal aide played basketball for Duke. Young Jeezy made a rap about him. Obama is a black guy. Obama is a white guy. Now he’s our guy. And he’s my personal Jesus.

//

After choosing a nice bottle of water, I sat down to hear the speaker, Will Winter of the University of Missouri-St. Louis, present on St. Louis and loft developments. To be honest, I found the talk a little boring, but I wasn’t personally invited, nor was it even tertiarily related to anything I am studying.

However, I found one of Winter’s points quite interesting. He described community development in St. Louis as “fragmented, decentralized and privatized.” I had never thought of it before, but St. Louis politics really is a tragedy to behold. As Winter notes, we have a weak mayoral system, and the aldermen have most of the power. The mayor is essentially only a figurehead.

Sitting in LaGuardia Airport, I realize that New York City is an entirely different beast altogether. Michael Bloomberg has centralized almost everything. Schools, taxes and environmental initiatives: The impetus for a large part of each stems from one man (and his advisers). I wonder how many Wash. U. students could name St. Louis’ mayor, what his policies are or what he has accomplished or even tried to accomplish for the city.

I’ve worked for an aldermanic campaign, and I look into the work she’s been doing. Development starts and ends with the alderman or woman. As much as I admire Kacie Starr-Triplett, I wonder how much more would get done in the City of St. Louis if the power was taken out of the hands of local politicians and given to fewer, more powerful individuals.

As much as I love the environment and being liberal, St. Louis really needs to focus on development right now. According to Winter, the number of local businesses has declined by roughly 50 percent since 1950. That number is truly inexcusable. You can chalk that up to a lack of public services or the fact that St. Louis just kind of sucks. I think the real problem, however, is twofold.

First, there is a lack of public transportation.

Besides Los Angeles (and really, who wants to be compared to L.A.?) I’ve heard of few cities that are trying, yet failing so miserably, to establish a working system of taxpayer-based transit. The MetroLink is a joke, and St. Louis County is obviously too stupid to do anything to help it. Giving more power to a mayor and to centralized authorities, like St. Louis Metro, would make St. Louis into a city that can live up to its true potential.

The second major problem preventing real development in St. Louis is a crappy downtown area. As Winter describes it, after World War II, downtown was seen as a corporate center. Now, it is being revitalized as an area with lofts for hipsters and groovy college kids. Anyone worth their salt in knowledge about city living knows that to attract hipsters, you need to have stuff for hipsters to do. That means bars. Lots of them. And art galleries, museums (of the postmodern art variety), restaurants (with weird décor), random eclectic art all over, clubs (featuring art installations) and local stores (featuring local artists’ work!). Seriously, though—to be a city, you need people living near where they work. That way, business develops alongside residences, street life becomes safe and active, and everything becomes more efficient and exciting. And that’s what city living is all about.

A basketball team wouldn’t hurt, either.

The first thing that struck me about the Fair was the number of tables featuring mentoring programs. I believe there were approximately 5 or 6 tables of mentoring programs, all based out of St. Louis City. How does one go about deciding which program to select if they all offer the same thing? I was already aware of Big Brothers, Big Sisters. There were several others.

One of the “others,” Mentor St. Louis, stipulated that participants needed to spend only an hour per month with a student from one of a number of pre-selected schools. I was reminded that although at least one hour per month was required, more were recommended. Indeed, Ryonnel Jackson, the program director, informed me that mentors often contacted their mentees throughout the month to catch up. Still, I came away feeling a little discouraged by the program.

I imagined the college student who might meet that one time with an eager youngster from inner-city St. Louis. What kind of difference could that possibly make? Even if we were to judge being a mentor on the merits of trying to do ‘good,’ rather than actually achieving something good, surely an hour per month would fall short of that standard? Is it wrong that as I write this, I conjure up images of ‘that guy,’ who will write down on his resumé his pride in being a mentor, when in reality he acts as one for only an hour out of every 720 hours? My showers last almost half that long (of course, that brings up another issue entirely).

Still, I ask that you do not equate my skepticism with frustration. I believe mentoring programs work. They are more effective the more time mentors and mentees spend around one another, yes, but as the saying goes, every little bit helps. I strongly encourage all Wash. U. students to get involved in mentoring. When public schools aren’t doing their job, and you aren’t qualified to be a teacher, mentoring is the next best thing; it might even be a better thing!

Mentoring was just one of the opportunities available at the Public Service Fair. There were many other ways to get involved, through human rights groups, legal advocacy groups and several medical organizations. I know next to nothing about nutrition, health, exercise or even general well-being. Just ask my girlfriend. So, I decided to reach beyond my comfort zone of legal aid and youth-interest groups to explore Saint Louis Effort for AIDS.

St. Louis EFA was organized to provide education and raise awareness about HIV/AIDS in the region and to provide support for those with the disease. Their office on 1027 South Vandeventer also provides free confidential STD and HIV testing. Their booklet offers some frankly shocking statistics, which hopefully will prompt Wash. U. students to involve themselves with more health-outreach initiatives.

St. Louis is ranked fifth nationally for both HIV and syphilis and first for both gonorrhea and chlamydia. Those are not good statistics. If you’ve seen the commercials about partners not knowing about AIDS, then you know that these statistics can be changed. Education stops the spread of HIV/AIDS, and this organization does just that. Wash. U. students can get involved with STL-EFA in two main ways outside of the direct mission statement. First, they can help with fundraising efforts. Second, they can volunteer with one of their subdivisions, PAWS (Pets are Wonderful Support), which helps those infected with HIV/AIDS, who have to deal with so much already, to keep their pets.

To find out more about these offerings, as well as others, including the ones mentioned in this column, contact the Gephardt Institute or the Community Service Office. To reach the Mentor St. Louis program specifically, e-mail farragut@mentorstlouis.org. To reach STL-EFA, contact Kim Rosenstein, the Volunteer Coordinator, at (314) 333-6660.

See, here’s the thing. First, I’m pretty sure you’re not paying a whole lot of taxes right now. So they’re not “your” tax dollars. Maybe they’re your parents’ tax dollars. Maybe I’m making a mistaken assumption and you’re completely independent of your parents, paying your own taxes. If that’s the case, I apologize. And of course, you have every right to have a say as to how you’d like your taxes to be spent.

Even if, however, you are paying a significant amount of taxes, I still have a problem. Tax policy just isn’t enough. Do you own a corporation? No. But I bet you have a female friend. Or a gay one. Or a black one. I bet you appreciate the environment. I bet that you or someone close to you went to a public school. I bet your grandparents benefit or have benefited from social security. I bet you have an appreciation for science, knowledge and research that keeps us competitive in the international arena. If you really care about conservative fiscal policies, vote for Ron Paul, not for John McCain.

Republicans aren’t about taxes anymore. They cater to the religious right. They want government to legislate bedroom “morality.” They want to devour the line that separates Church and State. They ban books and disenfranchise minorities. They claim to want small government, except when it comes to the military. That they want very big. They want to dig for oil as if it were a part of a long-term solution to the current energy crisis. It’s not. They come up with euphemisms to make coal sound clean, safe and fun. It isn’t any of those things. Neither is nuclear power. Just ask any reputable scientist about how we can get rid of nuclear waste, or just how clean “clean” coal is. They won’t have a logical answer for you, because there isn’t one. Those policies are the policies of a disgraced administration and party that has lost its true conservatism.

I care about collecting the DNA of bears in Montana, because I understand the implications of the program for the long-term survival of the grizzly bear (and all the creatures connected to its fragile ecosystem). I care about gay rights and a woman’s right to choose. I care about kids from inner-city Baltimore. I’m going to be okay with paying a little bit more in taxes when I have a high-paying job because this country has given me so much, and I know that the opportunities available to me are available to few others.

This election is about so much more than taxes. Even if it were about taxes, I’d still vote for the Democrats. In this day and age where government deals with so much more than just taxes, why are you going to limit your horizons? For all you RFROs (Republicans-for-fiscal-reasons-only), stop feigning ignorance while your party continues to attack the environment, education and minority rights.

If you’re going to support your party, support the whole thing. Otherwise, vote for a third party. One that focuses on taxes. Or you could be a Democrat. I promise you: We care about way more than taxes. We’d love to have you.

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This year I could have chosen to discuss how ResLife has screwed me over (it hasn’t—I live in one of the top floors of the Dorchester), how there aren’t enough places to recycle on campus (the administration has definitely been working on it), or how much I’ve missed Bear’s Den cuisine (the jury is still out on that one). I feel, however, that those topics have been covered beyond the point of ultimate tedium.

This column is going to become part public service, part community bulletin. I’d like to share positive stories about the Washington University community and the St. Louis community with you all. I’d also like to open your eyes to opportunities to do some real good in the greater St. Louis area. I am going to try to sell you on the some of the good you could be doing if you turned off Halo 3, hopped on a bus and discovered St. Louis on your own terms.

If you know me, you’re probably aware of my involvement with the St. Louis City Juvenile Detention Center (JDC) program. I was first introduced to the group by Meredith Sigler, class of ’08, at a community service fair on the Swamp. I was intrigued by the prospect of mentoring juvenile offenders. I was already excited about working with at-risk youth through one of the Campus Y tutoring programs, so I decided to volunteer with the JDC, as well. Quickly, the program became the best part of my week.

The way the program works is that almost every night of the week and on Saturday afternoons, a small group of Wash. U. students pile into a car or two and take a 10-minute drive to the JDC. While there, we take on a mentorship role of sorts, playing games with the kids and helping them with assignments. These kids need positive role models more than anyone else in America.

I like to say that they aren’t simply at-risk; they are beyond that point. They have already “risked.” Of course, most of them aren’t bad kids. They’ve made stupid choices because they have few people to tell them what the best choice is. They aren’t aware of the opportunities out there for them. As Washington University students, we’re in the perfect position to convey important messages to the youths in detention.

Don’t let your nerves prevent you from joining this fabulous program. Admittedly, I was tentative at first about joining.  I promise you, however, that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. The kids look forward to the program and they truly value the time we spend there.

If you’re interested, there are also opportunities to get involved with the Juvenile Detention Center outside of the presently-established Washington University program. The computer lab at the JDC is one area where work can be done. We could use volunteers to update the equipment and teach kids the fundamentals of more basic programs, such as Microsoft Word, as well as more exciting applications, such as Fruity Loops, and other music production software. If you’re good at chess, you can teach chess to and play games with the kids. The JDC even has a small garden in the yard which volunteers can help to expand and use as a teaching tool for youth mentoring sessions. You are also welcome to take a stab at grant writing, which consists of getting to know more about the Center and using that knowledge to ask foundations for capital support. Of course all of these activities would look great on your resumé. Most importantly, though, is that they are fun, rewarding, unique opportunities.

If you have a positive story or local community outreach program to share with your Washington University colleagues, please e-mail me at the address below.