When I was a boy, back in the information dark ages of the 20th century, Internet pornography was something to be revered and respected. Back then we, the pioneers of free Internet porn, overcame such hurdles as sub-56-kilobit-per-second connection speeds, shoddy antivirus software and difficult-to-delete Internet histories on shared computers. We traded pictures on floppy disks and stifled shouts of joy when one of our AIM friends sent us a safe link to a 15 second clip of the Pam and Tommy sex tape. If the video had sound, that was a huge bonus, but never necessary.

Those of us at the vanguard only dreamed of the smörgåsbord-like situation today’s porn lovers take for granted. We now enjoy the ability to find any genre, star or specific act in full-length films with only the gentle tap of a Google search. No longer must we wait minutes for pictures to load. No longer must we download video sight unseen. It takes seconds to find exactly what you want, not the hours of careful scrutiny it took when the Internet was new. Where’s the danger? The intrigue? Isn’t it the challenge of love that creates romance?

Pornography has existed since people learned to draw, so Alex’s assertion that his parents’ generation had an unsullied upbringing is ridiculous. Every generation seems to think they invented sex, or at least reinvented it. Somehow, they’re always wrong. But he has a point in exposing the dangers of its availability. People no longer appreciate the wonder of anonymously watching two other people having sex. Or seven other people having sex. There was a time when couples would go to a theater together to enjoy the experience—nay, the privilege—of watching people do freaky things to each other on film.

Fact is, Alex, people do freaky things to each other in real life, and have been doing them for years. Ever read anything by the Marquis de Sade? Well, don’t. I think it’s gross. But that is what’s so wonderful about free speech and the availability of smut. As an adult, I’m free to make my own choices of what I think is hot and what is not (awesome ’90s Internet reference, anybody? hotornot.com? no? anyway…).

Can porn warp kids’ minds? Maybe. But so can Glenn Beck, and no one is accusing him of destroying romance or sex. Some entertainment is trash and some is estimable. For Alex to suggest that porn has a negative effect on sex is ridiculous, especially when it allows many to realize that they are not alone in enjoying the “gross details” of their “weird fetishes,” as he puts it. But I do agree it shouldn’t be readily available on the Internet. Why should kids these days get to enjoy so easily what used to take me hours to find? Bring back the challenge to pornography, and restore the romance.

Brian was the managing editor of new media in 2008-2009. He can be reached via e-mail at stitt.brian@gmail.com.

Former Cadenza Editor, Brian Stitt (Matt Mitgang | Student Life)

It’s a bit of a Cadenza tradition for outgoing seniors to write a farewell article. It’s something that allows them to get anything off their chest that they haven’t had a chance to in the course of their normal article-writing duties. Knowing full well I could not top Matt Karlan’s recently rediscovered “Top 10 Types of People I Hate at Wash. U.,” I’ve decided to take my article in a different direction. It involves free beer. Read on.

I came to Student Life by accident, thanks to my former roommate and good friend Adam Summerville. He introduced me to Cadenza during a transitory time, when all of it’s members were still bitter over Student Life incorporating the formerly once-weekly entertainment magazine into the paper at large. We held our weekly meetings in a dingy basement office populated with stained couches and armchairs, castoffs from local resale stores, no doubt. The walls were littered with a variety of old cartoons and humorous office quotes, although the centerpiece was the proud display of our “Wash. U. Girls are ugly!” banner left over from the war with Emory.

Those embittered Cadenza editors who introduced me to the ways of entertainment journalism wouldn’t recognize our new office: clean, professional and fitted out with the latest in Mac technology (thanks in no small part to our award-winning and anonymous advertising team.) While I wouldn’t dare rail against the gleaming, pristine office we now enjoy or get nostalgic for the threadbare furniture and windowless walls beneath the Women’s Building, I do wonder if we have lost something.

One thing that’s easy to forget as we StudLifers face a diminishing journalism market and a readership generally apathetic to the fact that we actually put out a paper three times a week is that this is still a college newspaper. I admit Student Life has affected some changes on this campus during my tenure here, but I won’t bore you with history because we here at Cadenza had nothing to do with any of them.

A college newspaper should be more than an occasional Sudoku or a source for humorous police beat stories. I personally think a college newspaper should be opinionated, controversial and entertaining. It should push boundaries but, with tongue remaining firmly in cheek, walk the line between important and idiotic. I am proud to say that I have scoured the archives and currently hold the record for most idiotic articles ever written by a Cadenzite. From my impassioned plea to save the Canadian puppet show “Nanalan’” to my (apparently) controversial list of kids movies that are inappropriate for kids, I have a long, proud history of spouting off on subjects about which I am little more than half informed.

So in a bid to give you, my beloved readership, a voice to finally tell me off, I am offering you guys a deal. Anyone willing is welcome to join me at Blueberry Hill on Tuesday, May 5, at 8 p.m. and say whatever you want. Tell you what: You tell me about one Cadenza article from the past four years that you liked or (more likely) hated and I’ll buy you a beer. That’s right, I personally, Brian Stitt, will buy you a beer. Limit one per of-age customer and whatnot. E-mail me with any questions at stitt.brian@gmail.com. This isn’t a joke or trick; I’m not that clever. It’s just one last attempt to stroke my ego. Please show up if you like. If you don’t, great; I don’t have any money or job prospects. I’m a journalist. I want to thank everyone at Student Life for putting up with me these past years, especially Cadenza, even more especially Cecilia, David and E for keeping me somewhere between boring and revolutionary. Thank you copy editors for accepting my refusal to use commas and my desire to boldly split infinitives whenever I saw fit. I should thank my family most of all and let them know how much I appreciate my parents telling me that everything I write is terrific and how great it was that my grandmother kept a straight face when I told her I was going to cover the Adult Entertainment Expo for the paper, but I don’t think I will. They already know.

*Disclaimer* (Because of all the attention this article has been getting from nonregular readers, I wanted to put this disclaimer up for those of you not familiar with our format. While our reviews are serious, many of our features are not (I once wrote a defense of Ang Lee’s “Hulk” arguing it was a great movie because of the Hulk hands toy tie-in. That was one of our more serious articles.) We at Cadenza are open to most things, censorship is not one of them. Just clarifying that most of these were also my favorite movies as a child, just ones that, upon looking back, have some themes and images which can be a little creepy or odd. I agree that more children should watch movies of this nature. Thanks again for all the interest and I hope you all keep reading. In the future I wil not be so foolish as to think that no one would ever read my articles. -Brian Stitt, Managing Editor)

10. Time Bandits

One of Monty Python alum cum-auteur Terry Gilliam’s first movies, “Time Bandits” features the most horrific final scene in cinema, children’s or otherwise. Our young hero Kevin has just returned from a fantastic, time-traveling journey to find himself in bed, his house burning down around him. The firemen bursting in to save him hardly compare with the myriad adventures he had the night before; he met Robin Hood and Napoleon, found the father figure he always longed for in Agamemnon, even encountered “The Supreme Being” in a showdown with evil, only to find it all ripped away, as if it were a dream. Turns out the fire was caused by his own dull parents who constantly ignore him. They had something in the toaster for too long. Realizing that what was in the toaster is a chunk of pure evil left over from the Supreme Being’s battle, Kevin warns them not to touch it, only to be ignored once again. They disappear in a poof of smoke, and Kevin is left standing on his lawn as the firemen and police leave him all alone. For the rest of his life. When you look up “bleak” on an internet dictionary, it should show you this movie.

9. Coraline

The story of a monster who wants to steal our young heroine’s eyes is pretty frightening. The fact that the monster disguises herself as Coraline’s dream mother adds a very creepy layer. But it is Henry Selick’s stop-motion animation and character design that pushes this movie into the upper echelon of creepy kids’ movies. “The Nightmare Before Christmas” had a similar vibe but was jovial overall. “Coraline” resembles the stories of kids’ real lives and real fantasies. Those whose parents make them vegetables and seem to be always working may trade their eyes for a chance at a mother constantly baking cakes and father quick to serenade his daughter with a song. The opening credits serve as the perfect mood setter, introducing us through a needle-handed doll maker to a world where our toys may turn against us, simply by being an extension of our dreams.

8. Dark Crystal

Jim Henson was certainly known for blurring the line between adult’s and children’s entertainment, but he rarely made anything that pushed that line too far. “The Labyrinth” certainly wasn’t “Sesame Street,” but arguably, the scariest part about it was David Bowie’s package. So “The Dark Crystal” really came out of nowhere. The scariest thing about the villains, a dying race of rotting vulture-like creatures called Skeksies, was surprisingly not their plans for world domination by genocide (you’d kill off the Gelflings too if there was a prophecy that they would bring down your reign of power). It was the constant infighting and willingness to cast off one of their own so quickly after SkeSkil lost his Trial by Stone to General SkekUng. The blackness of their hearts was especially disturbing because we saw it in ourselves, just as our good qualities were mirrored in the calm and gentle urRus, a race of hunchbacked Mystics. Okay, so the really scary thing about “The Dark Crystal” is that it has the power to turn normal kids into massive dorks. Beware the crystal’s power before it’s too late. I know it is for me.

7. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Roald Dahl was known for liking to scare little kids with his gruesome stories. Even he could never have imagined the hellish boat ride featured halfway through “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate” factory. The combination of psychedelic swirling colors, horrific images (bugs in skulls! headless chickens!) and Gene Wilder’s droning, slow-building, song combine to create the scariest minute and half ever put on film. This comes after Mr. Wonka has tempted the children in his factory and the audience with his candy wonderland, only to reprimand the children when Augustus Gloop is sucked away to his possible death. This dark, frightening quality may be why we remember the movie so well as adults, but as kids the boat ride was a great time to sneak away for a bathroom break.

6. Watership Down

Kids love bunnies. It’s a fact. And why wouldn’t they? Bunnies are furry, cute and have improbable levels of floppiness. We are programmed from a young age, through books ordering us to pat the bunny and Christian holidays treating rabbits as bringers of sweets, to love bunny rabbits. While the book “Watership Down” featured a few more macabre details than society at large is used to associating with fluffy bunnies, certainly the animated adaptation would tone those parts down, right? Apparently the British do not share us Yanks’ refusal to associate bunnies with blood-fueled rage. Monty Python’s killer rabbit looks like Thumper next to “Watership Down’s” warriors. Bloody battles and scarringly realistic bunny deaths abound in this supposed children’s movie. Millions of children never thought about Easter the same way again.

5. Black Hole

Disney’s answer to “Star Wars” kind of missed the point. It retained stunning special effects and an outer space location, but replaced the fun, action-packed story with one from a ploddingly-paced psychological thriller. The crew of a spaceship encounters a missing vessel near a black hole. The ship’s captain has lobotomized his mutinous crew and created robots to take their place. He plans on entering the black hole to explore what may lie beyond. Despite the first-time-for-Disney PG rating, most viewers foolishly thought that something with the Disney logo would be kid friendly, not the kind of movie where characters are eviscerated on-screen and the entire cast is sent through the black hole at the end only to encounter Heaven and Hell, and end up in a dimension in which they will never belong. It did serve as many children’s introduction to the concept of “fate worse than death,” so the film deserves a gold star for that.

4. Return to Oz

This film was presumably made as a punishment for a Disney executive’s naughty child who liked to make up stories. A psuedo-sequel to the 1939 MGM classic, “Return to Oz” starts out with Auntie Em deciding that Dorothy’s psychotic babbling about talking scarecrows and melting witches deserve a healthy dose of electroshock therapy. Dorothy runs away from the terrifying psychiatrist, Dr. Worely, only to find her self back in Oz facing the villainous Mombi, an evil princess who can remove her head (and yours!), plus an army of soldiers with wheels for hands and feet. Despite the fact that the entire movie is terribly grim, with all of Dorthoy’s friends from Oz having been turned to stone, it is those soldiers, the Wheelers, that left an indelible mark on all young viewers and fueled the nightmares of a generation.

3. The Fox and the Hound

It’s not exactly a classic, but certainly “The Fox and the Hound” is one of the better remembered movies from Disney’s ’70s and ’80s “bad years.” It has some good laughs, a song or two from Pearl Bailey and a brilliantly-animated bear attack. Could there be a better way to teach kids about the evils of racism and bigotry than by abstracting it through the lens of an animal adventure? Maybe, if they had made a movie that didn’t conclude that Todd and Copper could never be friends. Sure, kids, separating people based on outward appearance and outdated social norms is bad, but there is nothing we can do about it. Segregation is inevitable anyway, guys. Just let Todd go play with his forest friends, and Copper can go be the hunting dog he was born to be. You can’t change who you are, and you can’t make a difference in society. Deal with it.

2. The Adventures of Mark Twain

Many of you may not remember this one, but that’s because everyone who saw it as a child immediately blocked it from their memories. The first full-length Claymation feature, “The Adventures of Mark Twain” is a rumination on the futility of life and the pros and cons of creating one’s own destiny through suicide. But, you know, for kids. Mark Twain takes Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and Becky Thatcher on a journey to the farthest reaches of the cosmos and to the darkest depths of his own soul in search of Haley’s Comet and his death. They try to talk him out of it, partly because he has so much to offer the world with his words, wit and wisdom, but mostly because he plans to crash the airship into the comet, killing them all. It’s an intriguing and hypnotizing look at artistry and history that will scare the bejesus out of anyone who isn’t blind and deaf.

1. Garbage Pail Kids

The only thing scarier than the quality of this putrid excuse for entertainment is the costumed little people masquerading as the nauseating Garbage Pail Kids. Based on an allegedly-amusing series of stickers mocking the Cabbage Patch Kids, The Garbage Pail kids are disgusting affronts to fake humanity with names like Valerie Vomit and Foul Phil. Kids are supposed to like gross things, and these things certainly are gross, but soulless round rubber faces, obnoxious voice acting and embarrassing special effects turn this film’s heroes into grotesque mockeries of the the grotesque mockeries they are based on. This film left a permanent black mark on humanity and the film industry. Showing this movie to your kids may result in a boost in their personal hygiene, but it will also kill a small part of them that will never grow back. Sort of like the lobotomized automatons in “The Black Hole.” Truly horrifying stuff.

The Academy Awards are meant to celebrate the best achievements in film, but recently they seem to honor only those end-of-year prestige pictures that most mildly admire but no one really likes. Two of the best loved and most successful movies of the year, “Wall-E” and “The Dark Knight,” were shut out from the major categories but for a token nomination each: Best Orignial Screenplay for the robot and Best Supporting Actor for the Joker.

The Oscars have been fighting public indifference and flagging ratings in the past few years and another crop of nominations for movies most people haven’t seen won’t help anything. Politics aside, big awards used to go to movies that were well regarded and successful; with very few of those popping up these days, old uncle Oscar should be more willing to reward those movies that make people feel good about paying to see their product.

Certainly many of 2008’s best films are included in the list of nominees. “Slumdog Millionaire,” the story of a Mumbai-born underdog which is bit of a rags to riches tale itself (at one point it was to be doomed to be released directly to DVD) is getting rightly honored with 10 nominations including shots at Best Director and Best Picture.

Melissa Leo and Richard Jenkins were treated to acting nominations for two underpublicized movies, “Frozen River” and “The Visitor,” respectively, that featured career-defining performances from these two veterans. But, it’s not the little-known movies that are killing the Oscars, it’s movies like “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” that are causing all the problems. Everyone heard about it, but most people passed (for good reason—it was lightly charming and well-made but overlong and unmoving), and yet it still racked up the most nominations overall with 13.

Trying to find signs of life in the Academy Awards may just be like whipping that poor dead horse, but it’s still going to be more fun than “Paul Blart: Mall Cop.”

Best Motion Picture of the Year

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Ceán Chaffin, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall
Frost/Nixon: Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner
Milk: Bruce Cohen, Dan Jinks
The Reader: Nominees to be determined
Slumdog Millionaire: Christian Colson

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Richard Jenkins for “The Visitor”
Frank Langella for “Frost/Nixon”
Sean Penn for “Milk”
Brad Pitt for “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Mickey Rourke for “The Wrestler”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Anne Hathaway for “Rachel Getting Married”
Angelina Jolie for “Changeling”
Melissa Leo for “Frozen River”
Meryl Streep for “Doubt”
Kate Winslet for “The Reader”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams for “Doubt”
Penélope Cruz for “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
Viola Davis for “Doubt”
Taraji P. Henson for “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Marisa Tomei for “The Wrestler”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Josh Brolin for “Milk”
Robert Downey Jr. for “Tropic Thunder”
Philip Seymour Hoffman for “Doubt”
Heath Ledger for “The Dark Knight”
Michael Shannon for “Revolutionary Road”

Best Achievement in Directing

Danny Boyle for “Slumdog Millionaire”
Stephen Daldry for “The Reader”
David Fincher for “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”
Ron Howard for “Frost/Nixon”
Gus Van Sant for “Milk”

//

The Dark Knight
What else is there to say about this movie? A massively popular, hugely successful, artistically-complicated comic book movie. It’s hard to avoid the specter of Heath Ledger’s death hanging over the film, but the quality of picture makes this a celebration of his talents more than an obituary. For those few out there who thought it overlong, self-serious and exhausting, nothing will change their minds, but I will point out one moment that embodies everything that makes this movie praiseworthy. Toward the end of a chase sequence Batman on his motor bike causes the Joker’s semitruck to flip end over front. Christopher Nolan shoots it straight on with no cuts and no trickery. We are seeing a full size truck flipping over on the streets of Chicago…erm, Gotham City.  Nothing I have seen this year, or in many years past, has taken an audience’s collective breath away like that moment. It is that sense of wonder, of “how did they do that?” that made people fall in love with movies in the first place. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to those people who ran out of the theater when they saw the train on screen coming right for them. “The Dark Knight” is filled with that feeling from beginning to end. It’s tiring, but it’s also splendidly crafted with one of the best ensemble casts of the year.

The Wrestler
Mickey Rourke is not a familiar face to most college students. And even for those of us old enough to have have enjoyed his ’80’s heyday, the beaten mug he wears now bears little resemblance to the kid in “Diner.” All this talk of his career renaissance is falling on deaf ears around college campuses, so lets talk about the movie. “The Wrestler” is a top notch character study, focusing mostly on former superstar wrestler Randy “The Ram” Robinson and his relationship with an aging stripper played fearlessly by Marissa Tomei. Their dovetailing story lines focus on details of their flagging careers; two people who rely on the bodies that are quickly failing them with age. The beauty of Darren Arofnosky’s movie is that on the stage and in the ring neither look flawed; Rourke’s back ripples with power and Tomei’s taught body shows no signs of age. But after they are done perfoming and the lights are up and their clothes go back on, the director captures the weariness in their eyes. Maybe it’s just Tomei atoning for her Oscar few think she deserved and Rourke pining for the one he was supposedly destained to get, but this movie seems much more than a splendid performance.

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father
It’s easy to write off this homemade documentary as an especially weepy episode of Dateline—the tragic tale of a man murdered by the mother of his child and the efforts by his family to get custody of that child, Zachary, and bring the killer to justice. But what separates “Dear Zachary” from similar ripped-from-the-headlines movie of the week fodder is the skill and emotion with which it is told. It features no beautiful photography or groundbreaking investigative journalism, but behind the tears (and there are many) are the purest of intentions: true love, and in a form of that particular emotion that seems little understood in Hollywood. Love is the pain Zachary’s grandparents feel sharing custody with the woman who shot their son in cold blood but walks free on the streets of Canada for years before the extradition hearing. An outraged Kurt Kuenne set out to make a movie for his deceased friend’s son, so Zachary would know how beloved his father had been. But beyond the anecdotes and fond memories, Kuenne follows this horrific story to the end, and finds a purpose for this film beyond the very personal original intention. The twist ending is provided not by fate but by the filmmaker and his growth in understanding of what family means.

In Bruges
When “In Bruges” was released this spring it was a pleasant surprise. Colin Farrell’s career has been filled with promise but few total successes. The mix of Martin McDonagh’s words and the filthy-mouthed Irishman’s natural charisma is enough to make this tale of hit men stuck in purgatory-on-earth exciting and hilarious. But the city of Bruges, which serves as a decadent yet believably boring backdrop, is the real star. Of course there are the typically strong performances from Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes, but it’s the Bosch-ian setting and Ferrell’s wallowing that makes “In Bruges” worth revisiting.

Slumdog Millionaire
Sappy, heavy-handed and fantastic, Danny Boyle’s modern fairy tale is wonderfully told and beautifully set. The “Who Want’s to Be a Millionaire” framework is simple and creates loads of tension, and the location photography shoots India’s sumptuous beauty and filthy underbelly all at once, often in one frame. This is what movies are supposed to be right? You laugh, you cry, you cheer and it all ends with dancing. Danny Boyle takes his eclectic taste and dips it in a Bollywood coating that, while sugary-sweet, has plenty of spice. Outstanding performances from little-known actors (in this hemisphere, anyway) turn this lovely postcard into something more substantial.

Wall-E
We cynics think that nothing good lasts forever and secretly hope that nothing will. But even the most ardent glass-is-half-empty supporters can’t help but take joy in Pixar’s unprecedented run of successes. With “Wall-E,” Pixar has somehow managed to top itself once again, reviving the gentle beauty of the silent film style and engaging an all-ages audience with relevant social commentary. Their mastery of story is topped here by the rich, gorgeous animation, from the details of the waste-filled, post-apocalyptic landscapes to Wall-E’s endlessly adorable way of doing everything.

Milk
Biopics are regularly overpraised. The often try to condense a person into two short hours of montages and monologues. “Milk” ends up on the good side of the fence because Gus Van Sant treats the material, and the man, with respect, plus Sean Penn is perfectly cast as Harvey Milk, the first openly gay man to hold public office. He’s got a swagger and self-confidence that mirrors the late politician right down to his New York accent and magnetic smile. But “Milk” isn’t about Milk the activist, or Milk the politician—it’s about a time and a city and the man who embodied a lot of that. It reaffirms that often-derided political ideal that a city is made up of individuals. Quite accidentally the movie is actually quite topical, as people in California continue to fight for their right to marry. While Milk would surely be leading the charge to overturn Prop 8 had he not been murdered, with more people like Harvey Milk in office, maybe it never would have passed in the first place.

Doubt
This picture would be much better suited to 2007’s aesthetic. It would make a nice double feature with “Atonement” actually. Doubt is a very unsatisfying movie, in that no resolution to the plot is ever reached. A Catholic priest in the 1960’s is suspected of an inappropriate relationship with one of his alter boys by two nuns. One is wracked by doubts, unwilling to crucify a man for a crime that may never have happened. The other is more steadfast in her assurance that he is guilty. Intriguing as that basic plot may be, it is the framework of the Catholic church in the 60’s and it’s inherent sexism that makes the film fascinating. That and outstanding work from Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Viola Davis, as the mother who thinks her son, the only black boy in school, is different enough. All this coming from the guy who directed “Joe Versus the Volcano.” How times have changed.

Iron Man
Many prefered it to “The Dark Knight” and while the last act drags a little once the delightful Jeff Bridges puts his suit on, this movie had the most fun with itself of any this year. Casting Robert Downey Jr. as a boozy billionaire with a golden touch and silver tongue seems too obvious to be inspired. But pairing him with the delightful Gwenyth Paltrow resulted in some of the best male/female verbal sparing since Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn.

Synecdoche, New York
It’s dangerous to let an artist off the leash sometimes and Charlie Kaufman is no exception. “Synecdoche” may have been bizarre, pretentious and artsy-fartsy, but it was also fascinating.

Gran Torino
It’s cartoonish, heavy handed and possibly racist, but don’t hold that against Clint Eastwood. While the story is predictable and the acting sub par, this comes from a long line of truly independent cinema, an heir in some ways to John Cassevetes’ work. Viewers may be turned off by the story or the characters, but they’re impeccably drawn.

The Visitor
A grand coming out for long time character actor Richard Jenkins. He’s played everyone from the dad in Will Ferrell’s “Step Brothers,” to Brad Pitt’s boss in “Burn After Reading;” and that was just this year. It’s too bad more people didn’t see this one, because it has a chance to be this year’s “Once.” Intimate and lovely, “The Visitor” is worth some time.

Wendy and Lucy
Where are all those movies about a girl and her dog? Here’s one featuring a sad, affecting performance from Michelle Williams as a woman trying to make her way to Alaska with her dog. Very quiet and sad, but its what all those mumblecore fellows are aspiring too.

Let The Right One In
Sweden’s answer to the teen vampire craze, this creepy bloody bit of fun is truly terrifying. Not because of the monsterous implications of a centuries old vampire who looks like a 13-year-old girl, but because of how terrible life must have been for awkward kids in Stockholm during the ’80’s. “Let the Right One In” strikes a nice balance between goopy slasher flick and teen comedy. But the overall town is like the Swedish weather, forbidding and cold.

//

He seems a little nervous about the prospects of his dark, introspective new film, or at least as nervous as someone so self-assured can be. At a roundtable interview on Wednesday, he discussed hanging out with the cast of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” when he plans on putting out another record (sorry “Jiggy” fans, looks like never) and the newly-changed landscape of American politics.

What are you feelings on the election of Barack Obama?

It was something that I preached as true for a long time, even quipped about, “I could absolutely be the President of the United States if I wanted to.” I led my life and carried myself in that way, and it was like some deep rooted part of me, part of a belief system, got validated. I’ve studied the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and it’s like those are some of the finest words ever committed to paper, some of the finest ideas, some of the most well-crafted concepts that have ever been committed to paper about the way human beings should treat one another.

All of that got validated as truth, you know, it’s: “America is not a racist nation.” We have a horrible history, but America is not a racist nation. There are racist people who live here, but as a whole, America is one of the finest nations that has ever existed in the history of the planet. And I’ve always believed that, and there was visible validation of something that was deep and spiritual and powerful inside of me.

Speaking of Barack, do you guys talk, do your kids hangout? Have you been offered a cabinet position yet?

I wanna be the ambassador to Brazil, or something. Not yet, the kids haven’t…

No playdates?

Nope, no playdates yet. It’s pretty much been all work, I met him on the campaign trail, so there really hasn’t been a “hey, what’s going on” meeting, there’s been none of that. It’s been all work, and probably will be for the next eight years. We’ll probably get to sit down in 2016, sometime, to have our cabinet discussion.

You claimed this millennium as yours—

—right, the Willenium.

Right, has anyone else tried to stake their claim on the millennium, and have you had to fight back for it?

Well, no one has tried to stake their claim—it was 2000 when I called this the new Willenium, so I’m actually kind of counting on Barack as a part of the new Willenium. I’m counting on that as a part of something that I prophesized.

Are you and Gabriele Muccino, director of “Seven Pounds” and “Pursuit of Happyness,” going to work together again?

Oh, yeah, he’s a fantastic director, we have a very similar sense of character. And he has a very unique ability: He makes male chick flicks.

We had an NFL screening for “Pursuit of Happyness,” so it was like the minimum weight in the room was like 310. And I’m watching all of these big guys, and Michael Irving was there, who is a tight-end for the Cowboys, he’s about 6 feet 5 inches or something like that, he’s sitting there with his wife. And the part in “Pursuit” comes to where I put my foot on the door, and he turns to his wife and says “Woman, you sitting over there crying?” And she says, “No, Michael, that’s you.”

So Gabriele has this really unique ability to make really masculine, male stories; you can really relate to the strength of the characters and all that, but it’s just tearing guys up, sitting there watching those movies, I think “Seven Pounds” has that same thing.

Does playing someone as dark as Ben Thomas of “Seven Pounds” affect you?

This one really messed me up so bad. “Six Degrees of Separation” [one of Smith’s earliest films] was the only other movie that twisted me up in that way. As an actor, what you try to do is try to reprogram your instincts, so you have an instinctual, not an acting, reaction. So you train it and train it and train it, and do it and do it and do it, until it starts happening without you knowing. But there’s also the de-training. So what happens is, you don’t realize—you’re sitting at the dinner table with Jada and the kids, and everybody’s quiet. “Why you all so quiet,” and Jada’s like, “Dude, ’cause you’re being weird.”

How difficult is it to talk about a film like this where so much is dependant on the audience not knowing?

Well that’s where I need you guys. It’s extremely difficult for two reasons. First, it’s difficult because you don’t want to ruin the movie. But secondly, it’s difficult for me, because the mission statement for our company is to create extraordinary entertainment art and deliver to all people in the world. And part of that is the one-line of the movie: “an alcoholic super-hero.” Everybody’s coming to see that movie. “The last man on earth is not alone.” Everybody’s coming to see that movie. So it’s difficult with this one, where we have a fantastic line… if we tell people, you know this a dude that’s giving… I mean, we can come up with that line that’ll make people come to see this movie, so to have to hold that back is excruciating, because it’s like you have a knock-out punch that you’re not gonna throw, but you’re gonna be in the fight. It’s like, the U.S. going into Normandy, sending ground troops, but we got the atomic bomb, but we gonna send the ground troops…but, you don’t need to. So it’s one of those situations.

There was talk of a “Independence Day 2”?

He [Director Roland Emmerich] was trying to do another one, he had an interesting idea, but he didn’t love it enough to send me a script. What’s it been, 20 years? He said something about all the space ships crashed around the world and the aliens had burrowed, and no one knew. And humanity didn’t know, but they had been breeding…but the script never came.

It’s been said you made a bet with your parents during high school, about college—

Oh, it wasn’t a bet, but my father was in the Air Force, and my mother graduated from Carnegie Mellon, so education in America was like really important in our family. So going to college was huge. My first record came out around 30 days before I graduated from high school, which, by the way, is not a good thing. If you have kids, hold their record until after they get out of high school. You do not wanta have a hit record and be a senior. No good comes out of that.

My brother and sister had gone to Hampton University, so my mother went and she did everything, was filling out all of my things, and making me go on all the college tours, but I had no intention of going to college. It came down to the last few months, I had to tell my parents, listen I want to try to be a rapper. My mother thought that was the dumbest crap she had ever heard in her life. My father said, “Listen, take a year, and if you can make it happen, make it happen. If not, next year, you’ll come back and pick one of these brochures that your mother filled out. In that year, we recorded “Parents just don’t understand,” which won the first Grammy ever given to a rap artist… so, my mom’s cool with that. Every once in awhile just for fun, “you know you need to go back and get your degree.” I’m okay, mommy, they might sell me one.

While movies have always been her strong suit, the well-managed playlists featuring hip indie-rockers like Frou Frou, a strong presence from the often underappreciated soul god Sam Cooke and the complete works of Randy Newman prove an open musical taste with no fear of overrepresentation (The Beatles and Mr. Newman are obviously heavy favorites).

The iPod itself is a standard size video model, bound lovingly by a homemade carrying case fashioned from black duct tape and what appears to be some semi-official document on Washington University letterhead. Though the model allows for it, no videos populate the iPod’s memory banks; instead Razak opts for various NPR podcasts and a healthy number of playlists named for friends, real or imagined.

The music sampling leans toward the individual song based variety, as opposed to one based on complete albums. Razak’s iPod features everything from the standards (Radiohead’s “OK Computer,” the funnier “Flight of the Conchords” songs) to more offbeat attractions (the melancholy “She’s Too Good for Me” by Warren Zevon, and an hilarious meditation on the state with the lowest highest point by Canadian rockers Moxy Furvous).

A few hip-hop standards like Ja Rule’s “Put It on Me” pop up here and there but do not dominate the proceedings. One is much more likely to spend time with Aimee Mann and Sufjan Stevens than Jay Z and Girl Talk on this music mix.

All in all the music offers a good entry into Razak’s music taste. It can’t really be described as a party Pod, but it certainly offers enough variety to get a bumping groove going with some careful prep work. It certainly shows that Razak values artists who are storytellers (Randy Newman, The Zombies, Warren Zevon, Aaron Carter) which fits with one who spends so much time watching movies.

Perhaps the most refreshing element is that this iPod features no crafting: There is no artificial rounding of the music library to make the owner seem more broadly interested than she is. There are a few atypical tracks here and there, but not enough to suggest any intentional shaping. The music sticks a little too close together, but shows a broad range of the same kind of music from the ’50s and ’60s through Oasis into Radiohead and multiple remixes and mash-ups.

All in all this was not a totally inspiring listening experience, but a pleasant one, and refreshing at that. Too many iPods are bloated with tracks never listened to. This is not a problem with Razak’s iPod, and while no one will be demoting her to Music Editor anytime soon, she shows enough of a knowledge and sense of history to make her presence as ruler of all things Cadenza a happy sign for the future of Student Life.

How’d the band get together?

Zach [Corothers, Portugal. The Man’s bassist] was in a cover band that used to play at our high school, and to all of us, being from a small town, it was the greatest thing. They would play Rage Against the Machine, Cannibal Corpse, Sepultura, things like that. Zach and I started hanging out at parties. I would go to his house, and he would show me bass lines. We just kind of met everyone else along the way.

Did you have any goals for this album?

We never like to set goals or expectations. We’re really happy to be able to write and record music and not feel limited in any way. We’re all just happy to have come to the point where we can play in Zurich. When we left [Alaska] for the very first time to play shows in Portland and Seattle, that was huge for me.

How would you describe the sound of your new record, Censored Colors?

I’m so big on copouts. I say it’s rock and roll, and it is. It’s heavier, but I would compare it to what I grew up on. There’s a definite Beatles element, as there is with everyone in the world who’s ever put out music. We had some great friends playing with us—strings, trumpet trombone, cello. We played with all our best friends from Seattle and what came out was exactly what you would expect from a bunch of friends hanging out and having a good time.

Did you have any trouble incorporating all those different styles?

The hardest part was that I’d never really written a chord progression. I know it’s a really backwards way to look at music, but when we’ve gone into the studio, I’ve just written riffs. I would chop those up and put drum machines to them and let Zach play on top of that. So it was all built up from nothing. On this record, because I knew we’d have strings and all these amazing players on the record, I felt like we should focus a little bit and have some great cohesive songs that had a good base, so that they could really benefit from the strings. It worked out really well. It was an amazing task for my brain to take on. My brain does not work like it should. I have no memory; I can’t play a song from start to finish. That’s why we jam so much. Ninety percent of our jams are me trying to figure out where the lyrics go.

Do you find yourself going in directions you didn’t intend to at first?

Every single record we’ve made, we go into the studio and say, “Okay, we’re going to make a soul record this time.” We’ve said soul record every time we’ve gone into the studio, and we have not made a soul record yet. “Church Mouth” may be the closest to what we were going for, but only because we named the record “Church Mouth.” Going into the studio this time, we said, “Let’s make a record and send it to somebody At Dub-Reggae and have them mix it just completely free of our criticisms and ideas and have them put on all the reverbs and delays and just go nuts and make something cool and fun with it.” Obviously we don’t know anybody in reggae, so once we hit the studio, it went from there. It made so much more sense to make this record than to make a Dub record.

Not to switch gears violently, but what was it like growing up in Wasilla?

Very much similar to Superior, Wyoming, or middle-of-nowhere Montana. It’s the meth capital of Alaska so the drugs are pretty heavy there. It’s just a small town. It’s a really conservative place. There’s underlying racism and other things you find in a small town. That being said, it’s an amazing place—the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to. It’s just so sheltered; people have no idea what happening outside of this town. Now the internet has promoted some forward thinking. Some of the best people I know are from Wasilla. Sarah Palin just doesn’t happen to be one of them, in my opinion.

Do you know her well?

No. I was 14 or 15 was when she came in as mayor. I was never really interested in politics. I remember as soon as she came in as mayor, everybody, even adults, was saying, “Yeah, our mayor’s a babe.” Even being totally disinterested, I remember thinking, “What’s going on? Is she really a babe? What does she have to go on other than being a babe?” It’s a really small place so I know people that have known her and know her kids.

Do you think the attention she has gotten is fair or unfair?

The only reason I’m saying anything about this is that she’s from my hometown, and I’ve been around people like her and families like hers my whole life. It’s amazing how attached everybody has become to this idea of this gun-toting mother of five from Wasilla, Alaska. When it comes down to it, I’ve been around so many of these sport hunters, and they’re, like, reading their kids the Book of Revelations before bed—and then going out and shooting a bear because they want a new rug. It’s a total lack of respect for the environment and the people that actually survive from hunting and that way of life. Sarah Palin has been making $120,000 annually for the last couple years as governor of Alaska. How does it make sense that we need more people going out and killing for the sake of killing? It’s just silly. And the aerial hunting thing…I remember that when that opened up, my friend’s dad went out in a helicopter and shot three wolves, because there was a bounty on wolves that were killing caribou. Yeah, poor sport hunters can’t get their caribou. He came back with these wolves, and they were just massive; wolves are the craziest thing I’ve seen up close. Alaskan wolves are just huge. Did he really have to kill these animals? You know. his family was rich; there was no need. He just went out and did it.

Do you feel a camaraderie with other Alaskans?

Alaska’s small. If you run into somebody from Alaska outside of Alaska, you’re hanging out. You guys are best friends; you’re together until you leave. You’re always rooting for Alaska.

Just not politically?

Yeah. Most bands lean pretty far in the direction of…you know, we just want everybody to be loved, man. It’s kind of the obvious response from us. It’s just really about the lack of respect for the community. So many people live in the woods and survive off that land, and it’s sad to see somebody have such a total lack of respect for the people.

Do you appreciate all the attention Wasilla is getting?

Sarah Palin could be from Superior, Wyoming, and it would be the same. It’s just silly to think that she could have some insight on the rest of the world. She grew up in Wasilla.

So are you saying you’re not prepared to be vice president?

Yeah, that’s for sure. I don’t think she’s capable. We listen to Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly and a lot of right-wing radio; it’s amazing to see how close-minded they are. But I remember when Barack was on it, they were pushing this thing: “He’s just a celebrity. He’s just a face. It’s a joke that anyone’s putting any hope into something that’s just a face.” And that’s exactly what I feel like the Republicans found in Sarah Palin. It’s just silly.

Do you see any way out of that sort of blinded political thought?

*Laughs* It blows my mind. It’s not funny, but it’s funny to me that we have such a divided country. Right down the middle. How’s anybody supposed to win an election at all by just maintaining what they truly believe? It’s always going to be like that. It’s hard to avoid. It’s sad. Where’s the middle ground? I feel like there’s no middle ground.

Well, do you have trouble finding middle ground in music? Do you reach it by giving so many people a say in how it turns out?

I think that’s what it’s all about. It’s all about handing the music to other people. If we ask our friends to play on the record, we’re not going to tell them how to play.

Same with Paul Kolderie. He’s worked with Radiohead and the Pixies. Who are we to tell him how to mix our record? It was a big deal with other bands. They were saying, “I can’t believe you handed off your music and didn’t say anything.” But that’s what we thought the best part was.

Acting as a slip in time, “Everything That Happens Will Happen Today” allows two mature artists to explore the wide range of music that they have inspired. Had it been released 20 years ago, bands like Radiohead, the Flaming Lips and heck, even Coldplay could point to specific songs that inspired their styles. These songs, while fitting perfectly into Eno’s and Byrne’s recent discographies, seem to predate the music by these artists. The ambiant-folk sound blends seamlessly with Byrne’s simple, seemingly effortless lyrics. A fairly straightforward rock instrumentaion is accompanied by electronic backdrops and distortions. These in particular seem to be a kind of throwback and yet parallel many current artists who construct complex soundscapes from simple beeps and clicks (Ladytron, Crystal Castles).

These elements alone would make for an intriguing experiment (not unlike Byrne and Eno’s previous solo collaboration “My Life in the Bush of Ghosts”) but not much more than a nice nod to fans and followers. But Byrne has put some of the sweetest and catchiest melodies of his career over Eno’s musical tracks. The album’s first single “Strange Overtones,” an infectious gem, makes reference to the time-bending nature of the music found here. “This groove is out of fashion/ these beats are 20 years old” Byrne croons, a self-referential wink perhaps, but his lyrical specificity never allows too much room for self-indulgence. This is after all the man who one said, while interviewing himself no less, that he’d like to write a song about hairdos, but not the people under them.

The rest of the tracks are a good mix of methodically paced, densely packed, lilting tunes, although “Home,” “Wanted for Life” and “The River” stand out. “Life is Long” is a great thumpy sing-along track and “My Big Nurse” is a sweet meditation on perhaps God, perhaps simply the unknown, would fit nicely on a late Johnny Cash album.

It’s often hard to judge great artists who have been producing solid music for a long time, despite their departure from the brightest lights of the public consciousness, as good feelings about their past work can cloud middle-aged mediocrity. But Eno and Byrne have sidestepped that old pitfall by embracing their past, which was always and is still experimental rock based around traditional pop formations. Nothing on this album rivals the poppy, good nature of David Byrne’s recent collaboration with Fatboy Slim “Toejam” (the sexy innocence of the video is irresistible) but neither are these long meandering jams. It’s good to see that artists can come home again without abandoning their new lives.