Editor’s Note: This article was published in an April Fool’s Day edition of Student Life. Its content is not factual.

The Bears have finally found a worthy opponent for a fight, as Student Union (SU) declared war on the University of Washington.

“On behalf of the student body, Student Union has declared war on the University of Washington,” said SU President Neil Patel. “We’re tired of being confused with the University of Washington. We’re in St. Louis, dammit.”

Students at the University actually care about this war, despite the two failed attempts by Emory University to initiate hostilities in the past four years.

“People don’t care about Emory because they’re not worthy adversaries,” said senior Simon Guevara, co-president of Red Alert.

“This war actually means something because we’re fighting for our name and our reputation.”

Both schools have gotten into the spirit of things and several Huskies made the thousand-mile road trip to the Lou.

Chancellor Wrighton awoke to a flaming bag of dog poo on his front step, courtesy of the Huskies.

The Bears retaliated with a scorched earth policy, setting fire to the Huskies’ quad.

The Bears scattered fliers on their rival’s fire hydrants reading, “Only WU can prevent forest fires.”

Red Alert is actively recruiting students to help the war effort or to pack the stands, using their signature free pizza.

They are also distributing free T-shirts emblazoned with, “University of Washington wasn’t even on my list of safety schools.”

Related posts:

1. Emory declares war on WU
2. Take high road in Emory ‘war’
3. Emory’s attempt to reignite war fails