Imagine this: It’s May 1, and I’ve just finished my last exam of the semester. I’ve checked it over and, confident that I’ve done well, I hand it in to the professor. Without pausing, I leave the classroom behind and eagerly set my sights upon the next three and a half months. Having worked hard throughout the year to bolster my transcript, I figure that I deserve a while to relax. Alas, the old adage isn’t true, and April showers will be followed by, well, May showers.

There was a time a while back when literally “taking off” the entire summer was perfectly acceptable. When you’re in elementary school or perhaps even junior high, no one cares if you spend your days sleeping until noon, your afternoons watching TV, and your evenings watching more TV. Ideally, the “Summer of (Insert Name Here)” is what we all want, and though its exact definition may vary slightly for each individual, the overall trend is obviously one of pleasure over practicality. The real world, however, is populated by sleep doctors and not professional sleepers, network executives rather than expert television viewers.

This not-so-shocking fact leads to the May showers I mentioned before. When I’ve arrived back home, I’ll no doubt get one or two weeks to decompose and live the good life. But then it’s back into the workplace, likely in the form of a nine-to-five job for minimal wage. An internship would be better, but I’ve found that these are hard to come by (especially for a first-year student) and often require lots of travel time. Many of the most appealing ones are also in other cities, and while doing a summer abroad program in high school seemed OK, after having spent virtually the entire year in St. Louis, I feel like a couple months at home would be good.

So you can see, then, that I’m never technically “on break.” While the nominal concepts of “homework” and “exams” may not exist in the summertime, most employers will tell you that every day in the workplace is a test (or some other similarly banal expression) and so you’ve got to stay focused at all times and work hard in order to succeed. Such a mentality will undoubtedly prove beneficial in the long run, but after a taxing year of school it can be difficult to keep your head in the game.

I’ve often heard people call college the last time in your life when you can really have fun. Seeing as I haven’t reached the next level yet, I can’t say for sure whether or not this is true. What I do know, though, is that after college there is no winter break or summer vacation. Except for a very few exceptions, work is a constant that persists for twelve months of the year.

Thus while it may, from the perspective of a college student, seem lame and unnecessary, getting a job or internship can prove immensely helpful in adapting to one’s future lifestyle.

Brian is a freshman in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.

It’s not so much that I’m upset with the fact that Barack Obama is exponentially gaining support; it’s how he’s doing it that bothers me.

But before I go any further, let me make it clear that I’m not trying to attack Obama or anyone who supports him. I just want to make sure that if the American people elect him to be our next president (which seems to be more and more likely every day), that they do so for the right reasons. That’s the closest thing to a disclaimer that I can offer. Read on at your own risk.

It’s time to get real: Barack Obama’s policies are virtually no different than those of Hillary Clinton or, for that matter, all of the Democratic candidates who dropped out of the race. They endorse most things that are considered liberal ideas. Yes, there are some differences between the two: for example, Obama supports meeting with heads of state like North Korea’s Kim Jong-il and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad while Clinton opposes such actions (at least in the first year of her presidency). Basically, though, if you support the Democratic Party, then your vote in the primaries should be (at least in my opinion) for who you think can enforce their policies best. Therein lies the rub.

My problem with Obama used to be that he hasn’t been entrenched in the Washington political scene long enough to become commander in chief. Now, however, recent developments have me convinced that he is in fact too experienced in the field of contemporary politics. He’s seen how the typical campaign works, the one filled with promises that can’t be kept, mudslinging and self-aggrandizement, and he realizes that there is another way: you simply hide it all.

You take the bad stuff, the boring stuff, the stuff which the average American doesn’t have time to follow (and even if they did have time wouldn’t care about) and you omit it from your speeches. You get rid of the tedious logic which defines your platform and you replace it with pure pathos. Tell the crowd that your campaign to get yourself elected isn’t actually about you, it’s about them. Instead of detailing your plan with complex rhetoric and big words that you got from that top-notch university, find a rudimentary expression and use it as a message of hope that people will chant every time you pause to catch your breath (or if you’re really good, at any arbitrary time in the middle of your sentences). You do these kinds of things, I’ve found, and John and Jane Q. Citizen will truly believe you’re serious. They really will see you as the “Candidate of Change”, the “Unifier of a Nation,” and (if the recent string of people fainting at campaign rallies is any indicator) a genuinely messianic figure.

Now, I realize that what I’m saying makes me look like a pretty big jerk (there’s actually a more appropriate word, but I don’t think I could put it in here), but I hope people will understand that it’s hard to express the way I feel in such a small space. I want to make it clear that I am not against all Obama supporters. On the contrary, there are plenty of people out there who do look at the issues and believe he has the best platform, or who really deep down inside think that Hillary Clinton’s past actions do not merit the honor of leading the free world. That’s perfectly alright. I don’t grade homework based on accuracy, only for completeness.

My quarrel, if you’d call it that, is with the zombies who chant “Yes We Can” without any understanding of what it really is “we” can do, and with the robots who wave their “Stand For Change” and “Change We Can Believe In” banners without knowing what “change” actually means. They’re out there, and they may very well give Obama the election, which to me is just as bad as (if not worse than) the superdelegates doing the same thing for Hillary.

I’m not saying everyone needs to know everything (because I certainly don’t), but I just want to make sure that we make the right choice for the next four or eight years. Maybe that choice is Barack Obama, and maybe he truly will eliminate factions and corruption and unite this country under peace and harmony, but right now I haven’t seen enough practical solutions to go with that idealism (not to mention that the kind of national cohesion he’s talking about has never truly existed in the United States, but that’s a story for another day).

Maybe you still say I’m wrong (and want to call me that word I said I couldn’t put in here) and that Obama really is going to bring about “change” and “unity” and that everyone who supports him is actually fully aware of just what it is for which he stands. If you do, then congratulations: you’ve just proved my point for me.

Brian is a freshman in Arts & Sciences and a staff columnist. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.

It was November 2006, and the great state of Georgia was in the midst of a heated gubernatorial race. Republican incumbent Sonny Perdue was seeking reelection, and for the first time in my life I was part of the multitude that would determine if he got a second term. Now, beyond the embarrassment of having a governor named Sonny (no offense to Sonny Bono or anyone else named Sonny seeking public office), I also opposed Perdue for his stance on race (opposing the removal of a Confederate symbol from the state flag and saying that Georgia needn’t issue a public apology for practicing slavery) and several questionable land purchases which I believed signified a penchant for corruption. Those of you who aren’t particularly interested in Georgia politics (and I certainly wouldn’t blame you if you’re not) might only remember Perdue for his public prayer for rain on the steps of the state capitol. Wouldn’t you have loved to have a man like this as your governor?

I didn’t, but the opposition wasn’t much better. Mark Taylor, or “The Big Guy” as he was often called, was a pretty uncharismatic figure who had numerous background issues of his own. Besides, everyone and their grandmother knew that he didn’t stand a chance of winning. I wasn’t much for supporting something I couldn’t consider a worthwhile cause, and all the negative campaigning between Perdue and Taylor only hastened my gradual disinterest in the race. A few days before the election, I happened to mention in the presence of one of my teachers that I wasn’t going to vote because I just didn’t think it was worth it. He took offense at my remark, and promptly lectured me about how voting is not just a right, but a responsibility as well. After some time pondering this, I came to the conclusion that voting is in fact an obligation as much as it is a luxury. Sure enough, I went to the polls one November morning and made my voice heard.

There are similarities between the 2006 Georgia gubernatorial election and this year’s presidential race. There are and will be people who feel no candidate is worth their vote. Maybe Fred Thompson, Dennis Kucinich or another of the myriad dropouts was “your guy,” and now you’re feeling like it isn’t worth participating in your state’s primary (if it hasn’t already happened). Or maybe your candidate is still around but doesn’t end up getting his or her party’s nomination. What then?

You vote, that’s what. If, of course, extenuating circumstances preclude your making it to the polls, well, that’s a different story. But here at Washington University, that’s quite unlikely, especially if you live on the South 40 and need only walk to the nearby Wohl Center to cast your ballot. Fortunately, there are enough candidates now that you should be able to find at least one who in some way resembles your vision of an American president. In November it might even be more difficult, and in fact voting for the “lesser of two evils” might be the best option for you. Nevertheless, I implore everyone to make a choice, because especially here in a swing state like Missouri, every vote counts. Like my teacher said, it is our responsibility as the citizens of this nation to choose the person we want to lead us for the next four or eight years.

The worst that can happen is that we look back in a few years and realize that our decision was the wrong one. Still, as far as I’m concerned, the wrong decision is always better than no decision at all.

Brian is a freshman in Arts & Sciences and a staff columnist. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.

Well, you just might be in luck, because for going on nine years now college football has been governed by such a machine. Known as the Bowl Championship Series, or BCS, this method ranks a team based on its standing in the Coaches’ Poll, Harris Interactive Poll, and the average of six separate computer rankings (the highest and lowest of which are thrown out). When it’s all said and done, each team has a numerical score, and the two teams with the highest scores go on to play for the National Championship.

And everyone is satisfied, or so the story went when this concept was first introduced. Now most people (of which I am one) will tell you that the BCS is ridiculous. It had good intentions, no doubt, but those were marred by the numerous flaws in the system. For example, last year Ohio State and Boise State both had perfect regular seasons, yet only the Buckeyes made the championship game. The reasoning was (in large part) that they had played a more difficult schedule in the Big Ten (including an end of season victory over then second-ranked Michigan) than had Boise in the Western Athletic Conference. What happened? Boise stunned Big 12 Champion Oklahoma, proving that they could in fact compete with the best teams in the country, while Ohio State fell 41-14 against Florida. Michigan was beaten handily by USC in the Rose Bowl, and by the end of the bowl season it was obvious that the Big 10 had been overrated. The computers, though, hadn’t taken into account that the conference in general was far inferior to the mighty SEC, whereas had it done so a one-loss Florida team would have likely been the favorite (instead of a major underdog). Plus, Florida’s victory begs the question: What’s not to say that Boise State could have beaten Ohio State too? How do we even know the Buckeyes were worthy of a BCS bid?

Of course there are constantly changes being made, like 2001′s addition of a “quality win” component to help teams who defeat highly ranked competitors, yet even such modifications cannot fix what has been doomed from the start. I for one support the consensus that says we need a play off among the top eight or even top sixteen teams. That way, we’ll find out who the best team really is. If some mid-major ranked fifteenth is in fact better than the big state university sitting at number two, then they’ll be able to prove it (unlike unbeaten Utah a couple years back, which had to settle for hammering a weak Pittsburgh team in the Fiesta bowl and never getting to prove just how good it was). Likewise, if the number one and two ranked teams in the country are in fact the two best teams, then they’ll take care of their opponents en route to a championship showdown.

And to those who say three or four more games would be too much of a strain on our student-athletes, I respond by saying that most players at elite Division I football programs have a bigger goal than winning a championship: They want to make millions in the NFL. Any team that wins the Super Bowl plays either 19 or 20 games, so why can’t our future MVPs and Hall of Famers play 15 or 16? Furthermore, wouldn’t a playoff spark the same mad following as college basketball’s traditional March Madness, when an entire nation literally rallies around a Cinderella pulling upset after upset? If there had been a playoff, who says Boise State wouldn’t have won the whole thing? Maybe it would have happened, and maybe it wouldn’t have. The point is, with the BCS we’ll never know.

This year has pretty much kept to the recent trend. Ohio State and LSU were both contentious selections for the National Championship Game, as teams like USC, Georgia, Oklahoma and Virginia Tech all felt they deserved a chance at the title. Hawaii is the country’s only undefeated team, yet their weak schedule strength in the WAC excluded them from title consideration. No matter who emerges victorious, there will be questions and debate as to who is really the country’s best team. I realize that throwing out the current system would not be an easy thing to do, but do we really trust a machine that knows only numbers and statistics over our own eyes and what we see?

There’s no doubt in my mind that computers and advanced technology will someday replace human perception when it comes to even the most subjective things like analyzing sports, but does that time really have to be now?

Brian is a freshman at Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.

I’m not sure it’s that simple. To think that it will have been close to three months since I saw my mother is kind of scary. So too is not having heard my sister’s voice since August. What if my dog, with whom I played fetch every day of the summer, doesn’t even remember who I am? Yes, I’m being melodramatic and I know it. My mom and sister will certainly remember me, and as my dad told me during Parents Weekend, dogs have no sense of time. Thus, I feel secure in expecting a warm reception at the airport and at home. I’ll unpack my things in my room (which I’m sure will have been thoroughly cleaned in anticipation of my arrival), and by the time I wake up in my cozy bed the next morning, it’ll feel like I never left.

But I did leave, and I can prove it with one word: driving.

That’s right, I haven’t gotten behind the wheel of a car (or even the handlebars of a bicycle) during my time at college. I envy all the upper classmen who, despite their insistence otherwise, I suspect of having formed an underground racing circuit a la “The Fast and the Furious.” On a less intense level, I just miss being able to go where I want, when I want. For a few days I’ll get a taste of that privilege once again.

Driving isn’t the only one of my former habits (if you can call it that) that seems almost alien now. People who hear me play might be surprised to know it, but I actually used to possess some semblance of talent on the piano. A couple hours of practice over the span of several months has forced me to rethink my future at Carnegie Hall, though. It’s a similar story with guitar, where I don’t think I’ll be touring with Joe Satriani any time soon. And as for writing that great American novel, I’m still stuck on page one.

I don’t think I’ve forgotten how to do any of these things, however. I know (and I’m sure some scientists can explain with eloquent language and big words why this is) that I can still drive, play piano and guitar, write something creative, or do any of the various other activities that I haven’t been able to do here.

Don’t get me wrong-I’ve loved college life thus far. It’s been about a hundred times better than I could have ever imagined. Nevertheless, it will surely be nice to go back to my old routine, even if it’s only for a few days. With that being said, I’d advise everyone who’s going home for break to forget his or her life here. No I don’t mean that you shouldn’t work on that essay that’s due the day after you get back or that you shouldn’t keep in contact with all your friends here, but I do think that you should take some time to remember your roots. Reunite with the people you haven’t seen for so long, return to your old stomping grounds, even take some time just to sit back and enjoy the warm feeling that comes with being home. I know I will.

Brian in a freshman in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.

On July 20, 1969, man first landed on the moon. There he uncovered a vast array of mysterious objects, physical and theoretical enigmas which inspired awe and terror in those who but gazed upon them. It was thought at the time to be one of the defining moments in human history, one that would likely never be bested.

That is, until now.

Direct your attention to the item in question. It seems relatively normal, does it not? Well, to freshman Ari Kahn the answer was an unequivocal yes: “This appears to be a tri-helical, tungsten-based life form, with a slight nitrous scent and traces of raspberry and pepper.” Others who looked upon the object questioned its origin and function, but never were words such as “extraordinary” or “unreal” thrown around. To most nonscientists, this was nothing more than a plain-old boring rock.

Here’s another story, one which occurred on an average September evening not long ago. Two boys were trapped in a labyrinth known as the line at Bear’s Den. Their intention had been to order from the Grill, but they soon realized that they were actually waiting for the Fryer. Knowing that the service at Bear’s Den is oh, let’s say a bit on the slow side, the two decided to get food from the Fryer. Once there, they ordered mozzarella sticks and french fries and were (eventually) rewarded with two aromatic, artery-clogging appetizers.

The first boy found nothing wrong with the mozzarella sticks, other than that psychological burning sensation and the coronary cries for help that should regularly be expected from gorging on such a dish. The second boy’s french fries, however, contained something else.something evil, perhaps.

Actually it wasn’t evil, just mysterious. The second boy picked it up and calmly exclaimed, “What the [expletive deleted] is this?” The first boy’s initial thought was that it must be a moon rock that had been brought back from a NASA flight and somehow ended up in a frying pan in Bear’s Den (how exactly this happened is something far too complicated for this writer to even contemplate). Yes, to the two boys who were entranced like the man-apes gazing at the monolith in “2001: A Space Odyssey,” this object most certainly possessed some awesome yet heretofore undiscovered power.

Others saw it differently. Another customer in line was under the impression that it could be quite a while before he was able to order his food, let alone receive it, and so upon seeing the item he nonchalantly offered to “dispose” of it. The woman at the check-out looked the object over carefully in order to determine whether or not it required an additional charge. (It did not).

Upon finishing the rests of their meals, the two boys pondered whether or not it would be sanitary to consume the object in question. They eventually decided against it, mainly because the first boy thought it would make an interesting subject for his newspaper article.

And so we’re back to where we started, with a mysterious object resembling a moon rock. This is, of course, no moon rock; rather, it is (as far as I can tell) a fragment of solidified grease that accumulated from the cooking of french fries. Though it’s no anomaly (I’ve been to enough fast food restaurants to know this), that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth noting. Recently I stumbled upon (and by “stumbled upon,” I mean someone showed me) the nutrition facts for the food on campus. Here’s a telling statistic: three chicken tenders represent 94 percent of your recommended fat intake for an entire day. I think even the least health-conscious people would say that isn’t very good.

Now you should know that I don’t want to be your mother and (in a voice that falls somewhere in between Marge Simpson and the school teacher from “Peanuts,” because we all know that’s what adults sound like) tell you to “eat your vegetables” and “lay off the junk food” (for the record, I haven’t had a vegetable in ten years and my room is full of less than nutritious snacks). I just want to let everyone know that it is in fact possible to consume a meal whose volume of leftover grease doesn’t exceed the volume of the meal itself. Yes, I am a health nut who regularly wishes great pain and injury upon those who can eat whatever they want whenever they want yet manage to gain no weight, but this is about something more. It’s about avoiding not only the “Freshman 15″ but also the risks that come with eating fatty foods.

Trust me, as someone who used to have very high cholesterol, I can tell you that it’s not something you want. I could churn out terrifying statistics, but I think it’s much easier to get the point across if you just look at the picture of the “item” found among some french fries one night at Bear’s Den (if you’re that desperate to see it up close, contact me and we might be able to arrange a viewing, although I’ve discovered that the half-life of grease isn’t that long). Please don’t become anorexic and/or bulimic and blame it on me, because I’m not telling you that you can’t eat anything. Just keep track of what you eat, and when your body tells you it’s time to stop, know that “no means no.” So by all means, take advantage of the great selection of delicious food available on and off campus, but just remember that when you eat, eat responsibly.

Brian is a freshman in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at brprice@artsci.wustl.edu.