Student Life Archives (2001-2008)

Laurel Sagartz set to join soccer, basketball, and track teams next season

Dear Reader: This article appears as part of Student Life’s annual April Fool’s issue. Please don’t think anything in it is true. It’s all made up.

After a meeting with head softball coach Leticia Pineda-Boutte, junior Laurel Sagartz announced Thursday that she will be joining the women’s soccer, basketball and track teams for her senior year in order to set records for number of varsity letters awarded to an individual and number of national championships won. Although it has never been done before and she is still not completely sure if she wants to do it, Sagartz will also petition the Washington University Athletic Department and head coach Larry Kindbom to play on the football team as well, despite her clear gender role assignment as a female.

Sagartz, who already plays on the perennial contending volleyball and softball teams, says that adding four more sports will not be that much more difficult.

“Five or six is not that much more than two, I mean, some of the seasons overlap anyway, so I said, ‘Why not?’” said Sagartz.

Sagartz, who is a two-time University Athletic Association player of the year for softball, played soccer, basketball, and track in high school. The softball star finished second overall in the high jump her senior year and was named second-team All-State in basketball. While she played very little soccer in high school, she is looking for a challenge and developing her footwork.

Tentative her first two years, Sagartz decided to join the volleyball team this past year. After experiencing the life of a two-sport athlete, Sagartz decided to increase to five because two sports, along with a strenuous class load, did not occupy enough of her time.

“During the off-season I go crazy when I find myself actually having a moment to breathe, a moment to think about world events and the opportunity to pee,” said Sagartz. “I just can’t take that; three or four more sports can help ease my off-season pain.”

The athletic department has offered Sagartz use of the new athlete lounge for her private residence as well.

“The lounge would be perfect because I’m going to be spending so much time there. It’s great to just live at the AC,” said Sagartz.

Undaunted by her challenge, Sagartz will start her training schedule after the 2006 softball season.

“I have combined the workouts from all five teams, so my workouts should only last three hours.” So much for taking it easy senior year.

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