On paper, this has been the perfect season.

Both the men’s and the women’s basketball teams stand at 18-0, and both are ranked No. 1 in the nation among all Division III schools. In fact, Washington University is the only school remaining in collegiate basketball with two undefeated squads.

There has been nary a blemish on WU’s basketball record this year. Things have been almost… boring.

But this is real life, and things are never quite as simple as they seem; so just what is going on these days in Bears basketball land?

On the women’s side of things, the team is establishing a new identity for itself and for the years to come. Sooner than later, it will be out with the old guard of Jen Rudis and Meg Sullivan and in with the new guard of fresh faces like Kelly Manning, Hallie Hutchins, Lesley Hawley and Suzy Digby.

It’s great to fun to watch the “Knee Brace Sisters,” Lesley Hawley and Kelly Manning. Both are able to create their own shot, and their scoring averages have been increasing accordingly of late.

Look out when low-post threats Suzy Digby and Hallie Hutchins get into the game. There are few teams in the UAA that can compete with both their size and skill level.

Laura Crowley, you have the sweetest release I’ve ever seen in DIII. Take a shot, please!

It looks like all the off-season work that Leslie Berger put in is finally paying off. She is a complete 180 from last year in terms of level of play. And to top it off, she leads the team in hustle and enthusiasm. (I have to say I’m a fan of the dreads, too.)

Kudos to the ladies for not falling into NYU’s trap last Sunday. The Violets did everything they could to slow the pace of the game. They realized that they couldn’t hang with the Bears in terms of talent, and so they resorted to cheap tricks (i.e. stalling) to keep

things close.

On the men’s side, the team is experiencing unprecedented depth. It is not uncommon for them to get a big lead early on and then give the starters significant pine time while the youngsters get a chance. Lately, the most impressive performers have been Anthony Hollins, Barry Bryant and Rob Keller.

Frosh point guard Scott Stone has been proving his worth to the team lately. Adequate ball handling and timely shooting have been the formula for his success thus far. Is this finally the heir apparent to UAA-legend Matt Tabash?

In Sunday’s game, it appeared that Jarriot Rook tweaked his ankle during the team warm-ups after halftime. Sure enough, several minutes into the second half, he landed on it again and was forced to miss the rest of the game. (It probably didn’t help matters that he was elbowed in the groin on a dirty screen set by NYU’s Jason Bayuk just minutes earlier.)

Nick Guerts is going to have to step it up big time if Rook remains sidelined. He is the most reliable banger that the Bears have coming off the bench.

Will someone please teach this team how to shoot free throws? 6-26 against NYU just isn’t going to cut it in the tournament, guys.

The only time that the offense really stalls is when we settle for three point shots. While Dustin Tylka and Joel Parrott are two of the all-time UAA greats in terms of dialing it up from long distance, the first option should always be to let Chris Jeffries create with his athleticism. If we get complacent and start jacking it up, we’ll end up with performances like Sunday’s 20 percent effort from beyond the arc.

Does anybody remember Chris Ford? He now holds the prestigious title of Brandeis University head basketball coach, but oh how far he has fallen! Ford played for and coached the Boston Celtics, earning multiple championship rings. Then, he wallowed in mediocrity as head coach of the Milwaukee Bucks before downright stinking it up with the LA Clippers (but then, who didn’t) in the late nineties.

Coach Edwards, if you leave to coach the Chicago Bulls, I’m transferring immediately… maybe even to Brandies.

You’ve got to love what Red Alert has done to this campus. Beyond packing the bleachers with standing, jeering, red-clad fans, they have inspired two loonies to show up at every home game dressed up as the opposing team’s mascot.

Against the Rochester Yellowjackets, they went as an oversized bee and a guy with a giant fly swatter. Against the Brandeis Judges, you guessed it; they went as a judge and a guy with a giant gavel for whacking said judge. For the NYU Violets game, they were forced to get more creative, and two lavender-clad cross-dressers seemed to suit the Village crowd just fine.

My only question is what they will do if the Hofstra University Flying Dutchmen ever come to town.

Now that I would pay money to see.

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