Another week in baseball, and still the Twins lead the AL Central, the Mariners have a 5.5 game lead in the AL West, the Braves are in the NL East cellar, St. Louis is close to the NL Central bottom, and the Cubbies and Phillies have the best record in the National League. What is going on with baseball? Has parity finally hit the major leagues? Well I wouldn’t go that far, but it’s nice to see these low-budget teams succeeding. This week’s big stories:
How about those wonderful Atlanta Braves? It has been 11 years since this team has even sniffed last place and now they are stuck in the cellar, forced down by the Phillies in a marvelous three-game sweep in the City of Brotherly Love. I could not be happier for the state of baseball that the Braves are in freefall. Atlanta has already secured itself as the worst sports town in the United States, as demonstrated by the futile Thrashers, the lowly Falcons and a Hawks team that can’t draw flies. Now the Braves, who I might say play in the worst of the new ballparks, are looking up at the Phillies, Expos and Marlins. I hope the Braves’ complete ineffectiveness on offense keeps up to the point that their respectable pitching staff can’t even keep up. If Braves wish to regain the title of “America’s Team” (which is only proclaimed by the eardrum-piercing announcers of TBS baseball), they might want to start by actually selling out playoff games and add some productive offense weapons; Quilvio Veras and Keith Lockhart are not going to win ballgames in this home run era.

I would like to personally congratulate Barry Bonds on his 500th home run. He hit this homer amidst a streak of six consecutive games in which he hit a tater. Bonds is the greatest left fielder who ever played the game. He has all the tools and will continue to produce for the San Francisco Giants until he walks off of the Pac Bell Park grass into history. He deserves kudos as a team leader and a great student of the game. His statistics and accomplishments are astounding, and easily match those of baseball legends we only refer to in baseball conversation. But for our generation, Barry Bonds is real; he is not just an entity, but a man among boys. Some people like to ride him for his occasional flashiness and his love of shiny jewelry, but any possible fault he might have is completely overshadowed by his greatness as a ballplayer and a teammate. Way to go, Barry!
Over the summer many things change in the baseball season. Players who were once huge contributors to early season dominance are riding the bench in Double-A, washed-up 38-year-olds are dominating the youngsters, and teams which may have started the season 20-10 are now 59-82, wondering where it all went wrong. We wonder what is too come of the Cubbies and Twins, who are dominating early, but on paper are million to one shots. Will the Blue Jays continue to rack up runs and will Mets put it together and make a run at the NL East title? After boning up on my encyclopedia (surfing ESPN.com for too many hours a day), I can confidently make some predictions for the upcoming months. The Yankees, Red Sox, and Blue Jays are three best teams in the AL; all will all win 90-95 games, not over 100 because of they’re playing each other. The Twins will compete for a while, but will eventually fall. The Padres will the best last-place team in history due to the sick competition in the NL West. Pedro will dominate; look for 20 wins and a 1.40 ERA. The A’s will catch the Rangers and Mariners and the White Sox will not win the AL Central. Get ready for another awesome summer!

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