This Sunday, approximately 100 million people worldwide will sit down for the most-watched television program of the year: the Super Bowl. It stands to reason that the majority of these viewers are Americans. After all, this annual occasion has practically earned the title of an honorary national holiday. For many Americans, the Super Bowl is one of the most anticipated events of the year.

But then there are those who think “pigskin” must be something used to make cute boots and coats. If you are one of these people, there’s a good chance that you dread this day when you just can’t seem to get in on the fun. Well, this year, that is all going to end. So listen up, football-haters, because it’s time to learn how to enjoy the Super Bowl.

1. Pick a team. Your best bet is to side with the one that most of your friends like, because there’s no reason for an untrue fan like yourself to cause controversy. This year, your two options are the Patriots and the Giants. Lucky for you, red, white and blue attire is fitting for either team. Jerseys are too expensive to buy on a whim, but some nice eye black is always festive and intimidating. Everyone likes a good themed party.

2. Scream. Even if you feel silly at first, you’ll really get into it-I promise. Scream when someone drops the ball (“You $%#&@ idiot!”), when someone runs really far (“Go baby, go!”) or just when everyone else is screaming. If you’ve decided to root for the Giants, you really only need to know the name Eli Manning, and for the Patriots, you’re good if you know Tom Brady. Be sure to yell at these men as if they can actually hear you and care what you think.

3. Eat! The Super Bowl is one of the greatest consumption days of the year, featuring wings, nachos, chili, ribs, potato skins and, of course, beer. Student Life does not condone underage drinking, but for those of you who are of age, I would suggest leaving the Natty in the fridge and going with Budweiser. That way, you won’t regret your choice of beverage when you see all the great Bud commercials, which brings me to.

4. Commercials. Pay attention to these! Some of the best advertisements will be making their debut, and you don’t want to miss them. Besides, on Monday people will be talking more about the commercials than the actual game, anyway.

5. Enter a pool. It’s like betting on the game, except it’s completely by chance so you don’t actually need to know anything about football. If you win $50, you might just start to warm up to the game.

As difficult as it may seem, and despite whatever past experience is telling you, you must believe that you can enjoy the Super Bowl. Think of pessimism and negativity as the stars of the opposing team, and root against them! Just imagine how good it’s going to feel to have clogged arteries, a sore throat and that coveted sense of belonging at the end of the night. If nothing else, you’ll have the right to guilt your friends into joining you for the premiere of the next season of America’s Next Top Model.

Popularity: 1% [?]

 Print This Post

This entry was posted on Friday, February 1st, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Scene. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.