Summer break is almost here. Many of you will be faced with a serious question-do you attempt to sustain a long-distance relationship with the person you’ve been dating here, or do you break things off for the summer?

Many people in their late teens and early twenties have a hard and fast rule against long-distance relationships. They decide that no matter how good the relationship is, no matter how much fun they are having with the other person, the distance is insurmountable.

Still, young or old, a hard and fast rule against is an inadvisable outlook-for the same reasons that you ought to avoid almost any hard and fast rule about relationships.

It is perfectly valid to have a preference…to prefer not to be in a long-distance relationship, for example. It is valid to take such preferences seriously. But, you owe it to yourself, as well as your partner, to evaluate your rules and preferences with a thoughtful eye. To end a relationship for no other reason than having decided at some point in the past that you have an inflexible rule against long-distance relationships-without giving specific consideration to the circumstances of your relationship and your lover- gives the relationship you are in right now inadequate consideration and, ultimately, short shrift.

At the risk of pointing out the obvious, a long-distance relationship can be one of the most frustrating experiences in life. Instead of being able to see your significant other every day or two, you may be lucky to see them for a weekend or two per month. Things like instant messages, cellular phones and internet voice and video chat make it a little easier to stay in touch frequently on a student budget, but none of those things are a particularly good substitute for real, physical contact.

On the other hand, that real physical contact could be all the more fun when it has been awhile since you and your significant other have seen each other. It becomes impossible to take the fun and the pleasure you share with each other for granted if you only see each other infrequently over the summer. If you and your on-campus lover share a strong connection before the summer begins, that connection may very likely thrive on the excitement and anticipation of being reunited later in the summer, after that long absence.

Of course, the sparks may also fizzle if you are separated from your significant other, since it becomes impossible to act on your desire with any real immediacy. You could move to a new locale for the summer, or stay here without your significant other, and find that you are attracted to someone else you see far more frequently.

With summer vacation comes a tough deadline for any of you who are currently in a relationship. How do you know if your spark will survive a few months of long-distance love or if it’s a better idea to break things off before the summer begins?

Consider your own relationship history-how have you dealt with long periods of separation in the past? If previous long-distance relationships you have had have stayed good after periods of separation, that may weigh in favor of trying it again.

If you have been tempted to stray when separated from previous lovers, you may prefer to break things off. Consider your significant other’s history as well-ask them questions! Find out if they have been in a long-distance relationship before, or how they have dealt with periods of separation in the past. If you talk candidly about your experiences with long-distance relationships, and your expectations for this summer, it will be far easier to come to a decision that both of you will understand and agree to.

Relationships are inherently fluid and uncertain; you can never perfectly predict how the summer will go. Still, you will have to decide whether it is best to proceed long-distance for the summer, go on hiatus or break up for good-and you will have to base this on the best information you have about yourself, your significant other and your relationship goals.

Just make sure to do both yourself and your lover a favor and don’t base the decision entirely on preconceived notions and boilerplate rules that have nothing to do with the intricacies of your relationship and your significant other. Your relationship is unique and deserves to be evaluated as such.

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 14th, 2007 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Scene. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.