I’ve been seeing more of one friend of mine lately, and last week she and I decided to start keeping track of those mutual friends of ours who are dating. In the midst of our gossip mongering, we came across two acquaintances who define the breakup-makeup scenario: since the summer these two lovebirds have been on and off more than a broken light. While my friend said they should stay together, I disagreed. They’re both nice people, but I just don’t see the point.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m pro-dating and I love seeing my friends hook up with each other, especially when it’s the kind of relationship that makes you laugh so hard that milk shoots out of your nose. But once it’s happened, it’s happened. People get together and they break up, and once you hit that point with whomever your significant other may be, trying to fix what you know will be a constant problem seems kind of futile.

Take the beginning of a relationship you’ve had with someone, any relationship. The first few weeks or month will be filled with a euphoria that’s like a honeymoon, except you go out to Center Court instead of a restaurant in Hawaii. You’re learning about this new amazing person and you think, “Maybe they can do no wrong. Maybe this is it.”

And maybe it is. You’re probably justified in wanting to do everything for her. Even if you don’t, you still feel that day-dreamy happiness that makes everything else feel secondary. But sooner or later it will end, that feeling, and you’ll be living the dating life like any other guy, your girlfriend just one more part of your life. A big part, yes, but just a part nonetheless.

Then you break up, because it’s either that or marriage and you’re probably not waiting with a ring. So you split, doesn’t matter how. Maybe you did something stupid or maybe she did. Maybe you caught her in bed with three other guys, “Old School” style. I don’t care. You take however long you need and before you know it, there are single girls all around you just waiting to treat you right. Then it hits you: You have ceased to give a crap about Old School girls. Life goes on.

True story: two weeks after one of my breakups I was sitting in a Rabbi’s house with another girl laying across my lap, and I was telling her I’d marry her and move to Buenos Aires. I was joking, but you get the point. If I can get them, you can too.

Or take the other side and say you do get back with the Old Schooler. You realize she made a mistake and you know she won’t do it again. Very nice. But you better also know that she’s going to do better this time, that she won’t wrong you like she did before. Otherwise, she’s going to hurt you again and you’ll find yourself living in the past, thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same pain.

So get yourself out there, and find those girls, the ones you haven’t seen before. There are plenty of them around, enough to keep you busy for the rest of college and longer, until you find the one you really want. Chances are she’s going to be different, so far from the others that you wonder how much you’ve changed, because you have and you always will.

As for that other girl? It’s like a friend of mine said: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. But then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

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