For those who don’t think St. Louis is a real city, read on, you skeptics. There is so much to do over the summer here, your eyes will pop, and then, of course, you’ll look vaguely like a surprised cartoon character.

For one thing, there is a big fair every month. For the liberal among us, St. Louis Pridefest is a sight worth seeing. Part rally for gay rights, part party, the carousing occurs June 24-26 in Tower Grove Park with food, beverages, merchandise booths and local and national acts celebrating gay awareness.

In July, of course, we celebrate our country’s birthday. Fair St. Louis takes place July 1-4 in downtown St. Louis and comes with a full package of amusement rides, air shows, fireworks, food and drink and riverboat cruises.

The beginning of August 2006 brings Strassenfest. On August 4-6, on 1200 Market Street and in Memorial Park, St. Louis gets its fill of German fun with bratwursts, beer, potato pancakes, music, dancing, carnival rides and more. There are also crafts and an Annual Volkswagen Car Show.

If you’ve always wanted to eat dinner while watching or participating in a play, St. Louis has an absurd number of dinner theater options this summer. The Dapper Flappers are playing at the Bissell Mansion Mystery Dinner Theatre until June 30, and you can get a full course meal while watching (and helping) a crime be solved. For more info, check out www.bissellmansiontheatre.com/MsyteryTheatre.htm. Want to see a dentist drill the killer? Go see Gunsmoke at The Lemp Mansion Restaurant and Inn by July 1 (www.lempmansion.com).

Want food and more food? St. Louis can feed your cravings this summer. Second Street will be closed from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. weekdays and to 4 p.m. on weekends so that you can eat and enjoy St. Louis humidity outside with Lunch on the Landing. The Kirkwood Farmers’ Market on 150 East Argonne is also only open through September, so take advantage of all the yummy healthy produce on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays this summer.

If music is your interest, St. Louis has a wide variety of candy for your ears. Especially for blues enthusiasts, St. Louis and the surrounding area have the beat bouncing all summer. At the Scott Joplin House State Historic Site, there are monthly concerts, yet to be determined, in June, July and August, celebrating the “King of Ragtime.” To stay updated with the dates, check out www.mostateparks.com/scottjoplin.htm or call (314) 340-5790. Some of St. Louis’ best blues music can be heard this summer at BB’s Jazz, Blues and Soups seven nights a week and you can find blues, jazz, Cajun and zydeco music at Broadway Oyster Bar, 736 S. Broadway most of the day and night, all week long. You can cruise to blues on a boat on the Mississippi with the Gateway Arch Riverboats Blues Cruise on Thursdays from June 1 through October 26, for only 15 dollars. Check out www.gatewayarch.com for more.

If blues isn’t your thing, other melodious options abound as well. If you enjoy hilarity and musicals, Menopause, The Musical is playing at the The Playhouse at Westport Plaza through March 8, 2007; The Barber of Seville is playing on June 1 through Opera Theatre of St. Louis at the Virginia Jackson Browning Theater, Loretto-Hilton Center at Webster University; and Jesus Christ Superstar is playing at the ArtLoft Theatre from June 1 through June 24 on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

If you like country, the Kenny Rogers will be playing at the UMB Bank Pavilion in the nearby Maryland Heights on June 18 and the Rascal Flatts will be playing there on June 24. A Tribute to Motown will be playing at Fine Music and Dining in Clayton on June 30. For people with other tastes, the Pageant brings Guitars and Saxes 2006 to St. Louis on July 14, and, for a take-off on southern rock, Mama’s Pride comes to the Pageant June 24. For a variety of blues, oldies and classical, St. Louis parks have free concerts in the parks going on all summer. (Check out www.stlouisco.com/parks or (636) 532-3399 for more info).

For more active fun, you can make yourself sick on roller coasters at Six Flags or you can pet some animals and see the Budweiser Clydesdale horses at Grant’s Farm. At the Magic House, you can join the kiddies and act like an explorer in the Lewis and Clark Adventure Exhibit. On August 1, check out the National Night Out at Spanish Lake Park, where you can canoe and ride hay wagons for free.

If you are aching for some art, St. Louis has your back on that too. Every third Friday of the month from 6-10 p.m. you can watch artists manipulate liquid glass into works of art at the Third Degree Glass Factory. June 2 is the last First Friday Downtown Gallery Walk, where visitors can amble around the newly renovated Washington Ave. and see 16 of downtown’s modern art galleries offering paintings, sculptures, photography and more. The Saint Louis Art Museum in Forest Park is open every day except Monday and has a number of special exhibits going on this summer as well.

As you can see, St. Louis has a plethora of pleasurable events to offer during summertime. So it’s not so bad to be stuck in St. Louis. For more information on these events and a listing of many more, check out www.explorestlouis.com.

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