Dear Editor:

I am a Wash. U. alum who graduated in 1969. I attended a school that was highly different from the one that currently occupies the land between Big Bend and Skinker, just south of whatever Millbrook has become. For one thing, Channel 9 & the ROTC Quonset hut have been supplanted by something called the “Danforth Campus.” And to obtain some kind of verification on my recent trip back to my good ole’ alma mater, I drove to the other end of what used to be the campus, and I walked up to Brookings Hall, which has always been the grand entrance to the University. I discovered to my horror that, indeed, the Wash. U. campus had become the “Danforth Campus.” The name was boldly and permanently announced by the huge, brassy, embedded plaque gouged into the old cobblestones in front of the arch. Being a skeptical person, (something that was carefully honed during my studies of English literature at the real Wash. U.) I had always feared the worst would happen following the takeover by the Danforth Brothers in the 1970s. I understand that the trustees couldn’t resist the hundreds of millions of dollars that the Danforth Foundation dangled so enticingly in front of their (by then) acquiescent noses.and it didn’t.

Now, in its infinite non-wisdom, the powers-that-be have decided to award one of its most infamous alums – Phyllis Shaftly (sic) – an honorary degree. What’s an upstanding, enlightened, progressive alum such as myself to do? What exactly, is a Wash. U. degree worth? How much did it cost? Who gets one next year – Ollie North? Well, just as Ronald Reagan did NOT want to pardon ole’ Ollie, I refuse to pardon “the shaft.” Her legacy to the women of this country, not to mention the world, is scandalously destructive. An institution that chooses to honor such a person does not deserve to continue to have me as a graduate.

So, I am putting my diploma up for sale to the highest bidder! Doesn’t that have a familiar ring? Bidding starts at $100,000 (inflated to match the egos of those who should be ashamed.) But I will settle for much, much less (deflated to match actual value).

I used to love walking on the campus and running into Dr. Eliot and his golden retriever. He was an actual scholar who led Wash. U. when the students had an actual reason for almost believing the old sweatshirt adage – Washington University, the Harvard of the Midwest.

Who wants the vintage parchment?

Sincerely,
Robert H. Mayes
Wash. U. Alum, 1969

This entry was posted on Monday, May 5th, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under @Press. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.