Student Life Archives (2001-2008)

News so absurd, it must be true

After 8 years, neighbors notice dead body

After decomposing on a couch in western England for more than eight years, local authorities recently discovered a corpse after responding to complaints of a bad smell coming from the apartment. The apartment in Bristol, England had been inhabited the entire time that the body was present. Police ruled that the man’s death was not suspicious and that he had been about 70 years old at time of death; the apartment’s other inhabitant was taken into custody by police, though it appears that he did not report the death because he suffers from mental problems.

Well dressed men targeted by flirtatious thieves

At Dallas hotels and bars, well-dressed men have been warned to be on the lookout for a ring of women who flirt with their victims before drugging them and stealing their personal effects. One man reported being beaten with a high-heeled shoe before losing his wallet to a perpetrator. Several Rolex watches have been reported stolen, with modes that are similar to the suspected band of thieves. A Dallas police detective told the Associated Press that in some cases the victims were business travelers and that it seems in most cases the women were forcing themselves upon the men.

Turtle sets record for longest swim

A leatherback turtle has been tracked swimming from the coast of the Papua province in Indonesia to the coast of Oregon. According to marine biologists, this is the longest recorded swim for a marine vertebrate between breeding and feeding sites. The journey from Indonesia to the west coast is nearly 13,000 miles. The previous record holding turtle swam to Hawaii in a journey that lasted more than 600 days before the animal’s transmitter wore out.

In place of students, chickens roam school

When workers arrived to open Northeast High School in Philadelphia on Monday, they found 50 roosters and hens wandering the hallways. According to a school district spokesperson, the fowl arrived over the weekend and likely belong to a local poultry farmer. The school was closed for the day because it was necessary to clean up the droppings and chicken feed that had accumulated over the weekend. Police are currently reviewing the school’s surveillance footage, looking for leads on pranksters who may have caused the infestation.

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