Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor,
It’s 4:20 a.m.: Do you know where your Wash. U. child is? The answers for most parents are obvious: sleeping or studying. But for some proud parents, their children were hoping to participate in the time-honored, mind-expanding tradition of…you guessed it, smoking marijuana at 4:20 a.m. on 4/20.
Isn’t it wonderful? A bunch of rebels staying up all night just to travel to the heart of Wash. U.’s campus and inhale illegal substances out of paper rolls. The courage of these youths is palpable.
Fortunately for society, word got to the campus police about this little shindig, and they were present to promptly boot the tokers off of our beautiful campus. What a sight that must have been; a traipse of torpidity as kids desperately try to suck the last bit of stupor out of their doobies before returning to their frat houses or apartments (no doubt with walls adorned by heroic poses of Bob Marley and Che Guevara).
Great job, police.
As for the Wash. U. pothead contingent, I suggest you find a better habit. I hear banging your head against concrete produces the same effect, and can help expedite the manifestation of your moon-calf status.
-Brian Jones
Class of 2009
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