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Just the Facts

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By Jill Strominger

Posted April 25, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Washington University’s athletic program has recently been recognized, earning a 7th-place ranking in the annual Hall of Fame Magazine (competing against Div. I, II, III and NAIA). The athletic program is also first-place in the United States Academy Directors’ Cup Div. III standings. In order to promote its athletic accomplishments Washington University could.

1. Rename Graham Chapel after Troy Ruths (re-engrave University signs and add new flags)

2. Place a giant volleyball atop the Brookings towers

3. Change the name of the school to Div. III National Champion Washington University in St. Louis

4. Change General Chemistry curriculum to developing secret legal steroids and challenge Notre Dame to a football game

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